


what happens on exegol, stays on exegol

by snowie130



Series: whoesoe [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (TLJ gives it and TROS can't take away from us no matter what), Alternative Universe - Time Travel, Angst, Angst and Humor, Attempt at Humor, Author hopes that Romantic Tension will be resolved, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Force Ghost Family, Force mumbo-jumbo that sounds better in author's head, Grey Rey, IT RAINS ON MUSTAFAR, Kira is not as smart as she thought, Kylo Denial Ren, Kylo Ren is terrible flirt, Mitaka totally arranged it, POV Alternating, POV Kylo Ren, POV Rey (Star Wars), Poor Stormtroopers, Post TROS pre TFA, Protective Kylo Ren, Save Ben Solo, Somehow, Sorry!, TRoKR #1-#3 are canon here, Time Travel AU, Time Travel Fix-It, UST, a lot of characters has few lines to think about this mess, afterlife with the Skywalkers!, and he gets two, anidala ain't proud, but fear not, consider it a metaphor, crossposting on ffnet made me love ao3 even more, dark reydar but it's matt who's innocent sunshine - implied, did i mention that Kira is not as smart as she thought?, everyone on finalizer are reylos, future!Rey is Kira, hope is like a son, i love that word! ::evil laugh::, is it "healing wounds caused by TROS"?, is that time paradox i see?!, jealous!Rey, not a good day for Poe, past!Ben is Kylo, share your thoughts on that matter, the force bond, there's only one TIE..., they re watchin. they re judgin, what would be the most idiotic undercover name for Ben to come up with post-TROS?, yellow optimism bashing, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:55:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 42,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22619725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowie130/pseuds/snowie130
Summary: Ben may be dead, but someone is determined to change that. Someone being his wifey.ORRey travels in time to destroy Exegol so Ben has no planet to die on. (no exegol => no palps)As lady Kira Ren of Sith she'll have to play dirty to keep her soulmate safe and sound."Time travel is easy", the Jedi scrolls said. "It will be fun", they said.
Relationships: Armitage Hux & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux & Rey, Armitage Hux/ Phasma, Hux/ Workaholism (background), Kylo Ren/Rey, Matt & Stormtroopers, Phasma & Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Reylo x Happiness (coming soon)
Series: whoesoe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1637035
Comments: 75
Kudos: 202
Collections: TROS Reylo Fix-it Fics





	1. Cut me open

* * *

* * *

Five years.

It took her five years to find the way to fix everything, to save Ben. Searching through Exegol archives, taking apart her stolen journals, scavenging the galaxy for both Sith and Jedi artifacts. Now she stood in a familiar cave, this time perfectly dry, her cloak dark and her hair down. Absently patting the lightsaber clipped to her belt, she thought back to how cold Exegol felt once Ben was gone. The way she called the Jedi yet they were absent, how they abandoned her just like they abandoned Ben. (Weren’t they supposed to help their last living Jedi?) How she slaughtered all of the Sith loyalists after she got some answers from their oily, twisted minds.

She remembered going back to the base, reuniting with her friends and allies, smiling and celebrating, careful not to show fury raging inside. Always fierce, always ready to fight, ever balancing on the edge of darkness until she tripped. She could have let the Dark Side consume her completely, and she played with that thought once in a while, but there was always one, more powerful desire. If she played this cruel game that the Force commanded, they would have all the time in the world.

She has flown to Tatooine to bury legacy sabers, to cut herself off from her so-called masters, so the Skywalker clan wouldn’t interrupt her mission. She was born a Palpatine. Everyone started to call her a Skywalker. Yet all she wanted was to become Solo someday. But first she had to make sure her soulmate doesn’t die.

Idea was simple – if there was no Exegol to die on, then Ben wouldn’t die at all. Perhaps she didn’t know what was going to happen with her, but that was not what mattered.

Taking a deep breath, she touched the mirror with a steady hand. She knew what she had to do. Ben’s death gave her strength to do it.

_ Let me in. _

When just like the first time her silhouettes have appeared, Rey reached with all Force inside her, carefully balanced Light and Dark, and started taking steps backwards.

  
  



	2. And what do you see?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Rey googles: "How to wrap Snoke around my finger?"*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still nothing long, BUT it's twice as much as first one! There is hope for me after all.  
> Your comments give me life, clear my skin, water my crops and make my cat happy.

\- Arise, child.

Neither Snoke’s calm and soothing voice, nor his flowery outfit and weird hat were what she expected. Not to mention the audience taking place outside in the eerie, but somehow gorgeous garden.

She tracked Supreme Leader by following an unsteady string of dyad bond and then filthy tentacle of Snoke’s power that seemed to be permanently wrapped around Ben.

Thank Maker Luke has cut himself off the Force, or he would have doubtlessly woken in the middle of the night to some stranger exiting Ahch-To’s Dark Side nexus and stealing his X-wing! She wouldn’t need it later anyway.

When she somehow landed on that planet in the Unknown Regions (of course that’s where he’s hidden...) without getting shot off the sky, she hurried to where she felt the old Dark-sider. Falling on her knees, she started her carefully prepared speech only to be scolded as if she was a beloved but annoying granddaughter. When she rose up, she tried something different.

\- Supreme Leader. I’ve heard about your people searching for Skywalker, and I would like nothing more than to see that pathetic Jedi destroyed.

\- Do you know where he is? – The old man’s voice hasn’t changed a bit, but she knew she had his attention. Carefully, she continued, with the allure of Dark slipping through her words.

\- No, not yet, sir. I’ve dedicated the last few years to finding him and getting my revenge, but I have failed. I believe that if I join forces with your people, I’ll be able to finally track him down. – she let Snoke feel almost all of her signature, to measure her power as quite smaller than she remembered Kylo Ren’s before he killed his father, but still enticing. She wanted to be considered a valuable asset, but not a potential apprentice and replacement for him.

\- Why Skywalker? Who is he to you?

She wouldn’t lie, she would just gently twist the truth.

– Luke Skywalker and the Jedi are responsible for my husband’s death. He deserves to suffer, not to live peacefully somewhere in the galaxy. The Dark Side has shown me the way. My passions give me strength, and sooner or later I will get my revenge on Skywalker and I will destroy any remains of the Jedi – as she continued with planned speech, she felt Snoke’s approval, the tentacle of his Force signature ever so slowly reaching hers.

Yes, she sent a whisper through the Dark Side, she is not a threat to you... she is of Sith, she is familiar, she will come in handy, perhaps she’ll become a future trial for Kylo Ren... It seemed like she was talking for an hour, voicing all her hatred, anger and disappointment towards Jedi, when he finally interrupted her:

\- And how would you like to destroy Skywalker, child? – she wasn’t mad about that „child”, considering all that she’s read about Snoke in Exegol archives, he was born long before Emperor and only after Palpatine’s demise he’s been allured to Exegol by Sith loyalists and cloned, as they wrote, ”just in case”.

Before she caught herself being a little bit sorry for that monster, she remembered how he brainwashed and manipulated Ben before he was even born. And also how he tried to make her boyfriend kill her. Nope, there will be no feeling sorry for Snoke. Now, she needed him to allow her inside the Starkiller Base, as near to Kylo as possible.

\- Oh, I’ve been thinking about something like Death Star, but maybe more powerful... – she answered innocently. - It would be fitting revenge in the name of Empire, if that was how great Luke Skywalker died.

Judging by this smug look, Snoke was quite pleased with her idea.

\- What is your name, child?

She couldn’t resist, she had that idea ever since she’s learned what ‘Vader’ meant in some ancient language – My Sith name is Darth Vrouw, but I’d like to be known as Kira.

Supreme Leader Snoke positively brightened before giving her some reddish fruit and wrapping his thin arm around her shoulders. Leading her in direction of a nearby building, he said – Now, my girl, let’s get you something else to eat.

My girl.

She knew it then: she had Snoke exactly where she wanted him.

Before they left the garden, he added – Call me Master, and under my protection you shall be known as Kira  **Ren** . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vrouw, according to Google Translate, means "wife" in Dutch. At first i wanted to play with German, but this sounds Sith enough, doesn't it?
> 
> As for Kira, that name has some fun meanings, like "ruler", "leader of people", "glittery, shine", "beloved", "beam of light". I doubt Snoke knew that.. ;)
> 
> Speaking of Snoke, let him be his own person! Even Snoke deserved better in TRoS, and I hate him so much. He was quite "fun" villain, and he didn't need to be alive in last movie to be respected as a character. So i'm retconning any idea that he was some mindless clone. 
> 
> As some of you may notice, i was inspired by TRoKR comics. *whispers* And it won't be the last time in that fic, i can share this not-really-a-spoiler with you.


	3. Another person is waiting,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh, is that glimpse of Kylo Ren i spot on the horizon?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i bled out so many words from my heart, to provoke you to share your opinions and comment. (it would made my day so don't hesitate, pls)

* * *

Last time Kira flew TIE, she didn’t take her time to truly appreciate it. Memory of setting that gorgeous ship on fire still made her blush. She was such a brat! Then, after defeating Sith Fleet/Final Order, TIEs were impossible to find – at least those in decent condition, and she did have much more pressing matters than fixing one up.

So she didn’t exactly hurry on her way to the Starkiller-in-making, after she left with Snoke’s blessing and the lovely sight of burning remains of Luke’s X-wing (old habits die hard!). Knowing that she will soon see her very own, living and breathing Ben Solo made her chest lighter than it has been in the last five years, or maybe longer. TIE felt like a dream (despite it being an older model). Cockpit was very cosy and she wished she had Ben give her a lift at some point. He still could, Kira realised. No matter how events after securing Exegol’s demise would unfold, she would hold on to him, no matter what happened to her or which name he’d choose by the end.

Too late she has realised that her boyfriend was better left Dark, but alive, than brought back to Light, but dead.

With that merry thought, she has landed smoothly (Maker, from now on, there were only TIEs in galaxy for her. Plus Falcon, if she ever got her hands on her again as Kira) in Finalizer’s hangar.

Kira caught herself trembling as she took out a silky cowl and used it to cover her head and face, as if she were to exit into a sandstorm. ‘’No sandstorm can compare to this” she thought grimly. Was she really travelling in time to save her equal-in-stupidity-soulmate, and also setting up destruction of a mythical, ethereal planet? She apparently was.

Outside, dozens of stormtroopers awaited her with General Armitage Hux himself.

She doubted anyone in the First Order knew what ‘’Jedi girl’’ looked like before Kylo put her face on every corner of the galaxy post-Crait, but still Kira made sure she was perfectly unrecognisable, with only a bit of her skin, golden eyes and fancy make-up visible. She left the TIE (gonna miss you, gorgeous) before it started looking suspicious, and faced representation of her former enemies.

Rey would have taken down first Hux in her oh-so-righteous anger, and killing all the troopers would follow.

Kira saw them for who they were - soldiers, brainwashed kids, meant for waste and death in foolish fights, just like many Resistance fighters.

And Hux? He stood there, dressed to the nines, straight as line, not a single hair out of place. Snoke’s angry dog and yet, someone who was willing to betray his cause just to see the fall of man he deeply hated. He was a dangerous one, but Kira will play that hatred and ambitions like a flying simulator back on Jakku. She wouldn’t stop him from wiping some planet from existence, so he should be thankful, she would even help with that! Kira wasn’t cruel after all. 

\- Lady Kira, we’re honored to have you joining us here on Finalizer – he bowed his head with indifferent expression, but gentle mental touch has revealed his excitement. Not over another space wizard messing up Armitage’s beloved project, but over mere possibility of seeing her embarrassing Kylo Ren.

„No way two dark Force-users won’t clash”.

My, my, he really hates Ben - she wondered, knowing that the wrinkling of her eyes betrayed the smile growing on her face. 

They started talking about Starkiller – Hux was competent but she did thorough research on it before, so he didn’t put her to shame – while leaving the hangar (and making way to hopefully somewhere near her quarters so she could be alone for a few parsec more) when she felt it.

Felt him.

Storming in from her right – BenBenBen – cloak floating dramatically, that stupid helmet covering his beautiful face, Force-signature in rage and almost making her see red, like good, ol’ days.

She could hear her heart, it was beating so damn loud – BenBenBen – and the Force around her  _ sang _ , when she turned to face him and felt the shadow of the dyad bond between them.

He was closing in and she wanted to jump at him, wrap herself around him, to never let him go. She was even ready to cover that kriffing helmet in kisses. After those precious parsecs they had on Exegol and then five years of nothing Kira was so touch-starved that even 15 years of Jakku couldn’t compare. 

„Play it cool, Kira, play it cool”

* * *

„Play it cool, Kylo, play it cool”

Kylo Ren was kriffing pissed. 

Turns out Master Snoke was sending some Sith – where does one even find Sith these days? - to the Finalizer, officially to help with First Order operations and to secure Starkiller. Kylo knew better – his teacher didn’t trust him anymore and found yet another Hux to drive him insane. Or spy on him perhaps? Master said that he may be giving Kylo a new Knight of Ren. Why? Wasn’t he enough? Hasn’t he given everything to the Dark Side, to Snoke? He couldn’t help these rebellious thoughts, dangerous thoughts. Master claimed he wasn’t ready to complete his training, but Kylo has never been more sure of anything as he was sure he is ready, despite utter failure that has been locating his uncle. Well, his temper still has been showing, and on his way to welcome Snoke’s spy he may have destroyed a few terminals and scared Mitaka (again), but he was working on it. And it’s not like the Dark Side was for peaceful people anyway.

Ah, there he was, his potential new Knight, already in clutches of Hux and...

Newcomer was a female.

Gender didn’t really mattered these days, and it never did with the Force, but somehow Kylo didn’t expect this. Sure, he still walked confidently towards them (towards her), but he seemed to lose all of his anger. He, Kylo Ren, without his famous anger. That can not be! And yet, there was something about her that felt so familiar, powerful, Dark signature with a crack of Light... All he could physically see of her were twinkling, dark-rimmed eyes with Sith-ember irises and slim silhouette, but again he thought he must have seen her before, in a daydream, in a nightmare. He suddenly needed to see her lightsaber – 

\- Can I see your saber? – he blurted out, surprising everyone, mostly himself.

Anakin Skywalker, watching from the afterlife, groaned and put his hand on his face. Padme teared up laughing.

Their boy didn’t play it cool, not at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, i planned to go full-on-dark, with all my post-tros bitterness but i can't help a lil bit of crack.


	4. I'm a hazard to myself/ Because I want nobody else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kira is smooth  
> kylo is not  
> hold on to your saber  
> cause it’s gettin hot <3
> 
> (no it won’t be hot, i’m a liar)
> 
> (BUT there is saber exchange. it's almost as sexy as intense hand touching)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dreaded (by me) chapter four has finally risen from the pit and it's here!
> 
> Thank you so, so much for every <3 and comment. Turns out one thing better than daydreaming about reylo au is sharing it with yall :) 
> 
> I hope you won't be as disappointed as Kylo is gonna get at some point...

* * *

_ ages later (for Kylo, at least) _

\- Of course you can, sweetheart.

Neither Kira’s sweet, cheerful voice with heavy Dathomir accent, nor the painfully familiar endearment were what he expected. Not to mention her weirdly crafted saber she just held out for him to take. Instead of a smooth, slim silver-colored shape, Kira’s saber was made from strange, black metal that seemed to be cracked in two... and yet it remained the whole when he turned it on. Sudden strike of disappointment – blade was not bright blue but yellow. Oh. Wait. What a relief, not a disappointment. She wasn't the girl who haunted his dreams. Still, Kylo’s nerd brain searched desperately for characteristics of yellow kyber crystals – and their owners – while he noticed distractedly out-loud:

\- Weird choice for a Sith,  **an optimistic yellow** ... – Kira Ren’s eyes narrowed, he must have hit the nerve!

\- I see why your not ready yet to become a true Lord of the Dark Side. Red blade won’t make you a Sith, that’s for sure. Haven’t you done your homework on Sith Ladies? You should at least remember Asajj Ventress or Bastila Shan. – Was she patronizing him? Him, the heir of Darth Vader!

He countered immediately, in low voice – Ventress ended up a traitor and Bastila was a famous Lightsider, so I wouldn’t take pride in paralleling them if I were you.

Kylo’s smile under the helmet didn’t linger: his opponent laughed at him, and that sound was an

ice-cold awakening after that initial sweet voice of hers.

\- Oh, Kylo, Kylo, Kylo. – his chosen name on her lips had  **no** effect on him, his heart was racing only because there was a potential enemy nearby... – Once Sith, always a Sith. And how are you so sure you know what happened with Bastila and Revan? There are many sources that claim "at the end, she stood with him as Sith".

* * *

Both continued to argue and Hux, who stood forgotten close behind Kira, rolled his eyes. Were they actually gonna fight or not? He did not sign up for debate about the history of Sith!

* * *

Kira Ren turned out to be a frustrating creature, but unfortunately knew what she was talking about - Kylo was very, very close to igniting his blade and taking his anger (at least it was back) out on the nearest piece of tech when she suddenly reached her hand out to him.

Was he supposed to shake it, or..?

\- I guess it’s only fair if i can see yours now? – she asked innocently, and he panicked.

What? What did she  **want** from him – Ah. He still had her saber. Kylo growled but gave up his precious weapon to the Sith Lady before he realised what he'd done. Taking a small step back – how did they get so kriffing close? – He noticed her gold eyes softening as she traced the red wire that kept his saber’s fractured crystal from overloading. He probably should have warned her before she ignited it...

Kira Ren acted like she has held his saber  **before** – which was obviously impossible – and turned on the blade without hurting herself on the quillons. She played with a buzzing red blade for a few moments, in simple but graceful moves – and seeing her wielding his lightsaber made him feel like he never did before. Finally she turned it off but he didn’t get his precious back until returning hers. For a moment they just stood there, hands of each on both sabers, as if  **connected** in Force... His vision darkened and electricity ran through his veins. He heard her gasp. Something told him that if not for his gloves, Kylo would be right now experiencing a powerful vision.

He let go of her saber and tore out his own from Kira’s scandalously naked hand. Her eyes, pupils back to normal, never left his. Tension was rising...

\- You know, some of Sith beliefs would consider us the closest friends or even married partners after such an act. – she said, clearly amused.

Kylo groaned, Hux laughed earnestly and the troopers started whispering.

\- Ha! Told ya, told ya, ever since they said some lady Ren will be arriving, i knew she had to be Kylo Ren’s wife! – R3Y-L0 said too loudly, earning a nudge from his companions. Thank Grandvader for the helmet, otherwise even hair wouldn’t cover his painfully hot, reddened ears.

Bad day for  _ Finalizer’s  _ technology and Mitaka was far from over...

* * *

Kira ached to touch him, to open their bond as wide as she could, but it was not the time. At least they wielded each other’s sabers already. That was something, right? Brief series of visions about them together - some which she had seen before, some new - has partially soothed a wound that remained in place of the dyad bond for five years. He didn’t seem affected, but it’s probably his gloves’ fault. Nothing that can’t be taken care of...

As she picked up her walk and conversation-slash-job-interview with Hux, Kira Ren was smiling underneath her cowl. Earlier she thought she saw some troopers exchanging credits behind Kylo’s back.

Apparently, there was a bet about their relationship status.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, consider leaving a comment! I'm dying to know what you think about whoesoe, even if i can't deliver you long, flowery chapters i always hope to write. But the short-but-sweet ones aren't that bad, right?
> 
> Check out Asajj Ventress.  
> I was heartbroken once i learned Anidala, Reylo and Bastila x Revan are not the only star-crossed lovers of SW who deserve better. Well. Fanon is better anyway.  
> (Also, she is pretty badass!)


	5. I'm sad you'll run away / I'll pray for you to stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: touch-starved space kids and Kylo Ren in denial (he's so tall, and handsome as hell/ he's lying to himself but he does it so well..)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why so soon? That's only because i had most of it done before i even started chapter four. (Ha!)  
> Let me know if you spot any terrible mistakes - not a native speaker! - or, maybe... your thoughts and opinions... Thank you for every comment so far, they mean the world to me!
> 
> Enjoy! (it's more than 1k words, yay!)

* * *

Ever since lady Kira Ren’s arrival, Kylo’s world has been turned upside down.

She spent half of her day following him around (and he really tried not to worry about what mischief was she up to when she wasn’t tormenting him), usually starting with waiting for him right out of his quarters - and recently even inside them! – holding caf. For Kylo!

She always had her arm around him – his waist, his own arms, anywhere her height allowed - or their sides were touching, or his gloved hand with her naked one, or some other ridiculous way to touch him. After seeing Kira around Hux, Phasma and others, he realised her explanations ”Oh, you know Kylo, i’m just that touchy-feely, cuddly type of person” were a Maker damn lies! The only person cursed to be the object of her physical affections was Kylo himself! There were proofs all over the video records: if anyone got too close to her, it never ended up well. Unless you were Kylo. Then she was all over you as soon as you shared the same space.

Amount of times she rubbed his helmet – „For luck!” – was getting out of control. And when he wasn’t wearing it? Kira always managed to find a way to sneak up on him, quickly ruffle his hair and then jump out of his reach immediately after the crime.

Kylo has perfected the art of lying to himself, so it was easy to claim he didn’t like it, not at all. As far as his master knew, he hated Kira.

That meant their slowly growing, strange friendship was safe.

That meant she was safe.

* * *

Judging by Kira’s reaction the first time he was with his mask off in her presence, she must have thought he had it permanently glued to his face. That was their first training together since she arrived on Finalizer, and she stood there doing basic kata when he barged in, no helmet, no armor, only gloves, shoes, high-waisted pants and white tank top.

At first he thought it was that white that confused her – yes, Dark-siders were allowed to wear other colors than black, he just liked it best – but she seemed to only stare at his face. (Not that he was currently showing off his arms. He was not. He just happened to flex his muscles every few seconds, that was all.) Kira was so absorbed in him that her saber actually fell out of her hand at some point, as she stood frozen with a peculiar look on her face someone may have called hungry.

\- What’s wrong with you,  **Ren** ? – he said sourly, closing in and turning on his weapon, and trying to erase the word „hungry” from his head. At the buzzing sound she seemed to regain some composure.

\- Sorry, Princess, I was just watching the way your lush, lush hair wave in the air – she answered in a fakely dreamy voice. It was for sure fake, he mused. But wait...

\- Princess? Who do you think you’re talking to?

She groaned. 

\- It’s something called an endearment, Princess. I just thought you’ll like it more than sweetheart, and if you don’t I can come up with something else... But i think you’re stuck with that for now.

Good, good. So she didn’t know. Of course she didn’t know, that was one of the biggest secrets in the galaxy, something that already one of his rivals knew and it was enough –

\- Also, aren’t you the son of Leia Organa? Doesn’t that make you Prince of Alderaan? So Princess it is! – Kira clearly didn’t mind spilling big news –  **she knows! how, why, did hux tell her? when? how close are they really?** – because she picked up her saber and stood in a familiar opening pose.

She was an impressive warrior, but Kylo was superior. Not that he had his doubts before! And yet the bewildered look she gave him once he won in the first few minutes filled him with arrogance and revealed she thought she could beat him.

Him, Master of Knights of Ren, the most powerful Force user since the Chosen One - Anakin Skywalker himself!

He knew he looked smug when he helped her up. The fury on her face – at least what he saw of it – excited Kylo. She summoned her saber and circled him, as if he was her prey, and for a moment he was sure she'd try to strike. Then her face softened and she must have smiled – why exactly hasn’t she taken off material wrapped around her face? Even Kylo went without his helmet sometimes!  And he really wanted to see her face . – before she said:

\- What was I expecting? Of course you could defeat me that quickly. – then she added, as if to herself – Then why you never... Oh. – she sighed and there was a sudden wave of sadness and regret he felt from her. Kylo was always sensitive to negative emotions in Force, but from Kira everything felt more intense.

Even the good ones...

* * *

Month have passed since their first combat, and under Kylo’s guidance Kira blossomed. She was strong with the Force - almost frighteningly so, but still much less than him – and quick learner, but Kylo still felt amazed as her skills flourished. He made sure to never touch her saber with a bare hand and to keep his own away from her. Sight of Kira Ren wielding his signature weapon would be too much to bear, especially as he caught himself comfortable with her careless affections. 

When he announced they’re leaving _Finalizer_ to meet with the Knights, her eyes widened and lit up. Of course, she used the opportunity to hug him – or try to break his ribs, he didn’t really know – in the middle of the corridor that lead to the hangar from their training quarters. 

\- You have no idea how much i want to breathe actual air. You could even take me to the desert – she murmured into his chest, and he wondered at the tiny piece of her past he may have accidentally gained. Dark, wavy hair escaped the cowl and somehow ended up near his face.  **Don't sniff her hair, don't - nevermind.**

Knowing that any resistance would be pointless, he took it like a man – he let her damage his reputation even more. It was nothing new for those damn troopers, and yet they dare to laugh behind his back!?

\- Prepare a shuttle! – he roared, untangling himself finally from Kira’s arms clad in flowing, black robes, as he spotted Mitaka and summoned him closer with an evil look. Why was his helmet gone again?

\- Yes, sir. B-b-but, sir, all of our ships are c-currently being upgraded with the... – trembling man hushed as Kylo’s look got murderous. Finally he continued, even more quietly – The only one available is TIE which lady Ren had borrowed from the Supreme Leader...

Judging by the moves of her cover, Kira wiggled her brows. That spark in her golden eyes was getting familiar.

Kylo paled.

Kira laughed.

**Grandvader help him...**

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kylo and kira,  
> sharing TIE...  
> k-i-s-s-i-n-g
> 
> now that's a cliffhanger, right?  
> if i could only respect it and write a decent reylo UST...


	6. You can lean into me/ So you won't be alone...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unexpected cameos from some familiar faces...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Break from uni is over but i should have time to write sometimes... 
> 
> I can't believe that the second least-planned chapter is so far the longest (and it will probably remain). There is like ONE thing in this that i wanted to include from the start. The rest just... happened. 2k words. How?!
> 
> Thank you for every <3 and comment. I'm actually rereading them sometimes. 
> 
> DYING TO KNOW what you think of this mess

* * *

Packed into one, cosy cockpit of her favorite TIE with her favorite grumpy boy, Kira was having the time of her life. _Remember to thank Mitaka later. He’s the sweetest_ , she thought as she tried to find a more comfortable position – for her, of course. There was, unfortunately, only one place for Kira to sit once she practically pushed Kylo inside the ship... his lap, of course. 

This is for not leaving the _Supremacy_ with me – she thought, resting her head on his hard chest, despite an angry look he gave her – and this one is for dying in my arms. – she wiggled with a vengeful little smile hidden by her cowl.

He growled.

\- Not much helpful as a co-pilot, are you, Kira? – he said through gritted teeth, trying to focus entirely on what’s ahead of them.

\- You’re the Master today. – she purred – And I’m just the arm candy. – that finally earned her a small laugh from him. That of course made her think how his face looked after their kiss on Exegol. There won’t be any kisses on Exegol. Soon enough there won’t be an Exegol at all. The whole galaxy will be ours to spend days just kissing – she thought fiercely, refusing to think anymore about the cold, dark planet and even colder and darker world without Ben.

Kylo relaxed a bit, but that didn’t last long.

Impossible man... He was pouting the entire way! She didn’t even ask where they were going, too busy with a not-so-subtle torturing one very frustrated pilot, so when they had finally landed, Rey peeked curiously through the windscreen.

Dark sand, lava river, the forest in the distance... Kira could feel a strong, weirdly comforting presence, as if she were back in the cave on Ahch-To.

Dark Side of the Force.

She felt as if she should have known that place, but she has never been on a volcanic planet before. Unless...

In a daydream, in a nightmare.

\- What is this place? – she asked Kylo quietly, and if he was surprised that she didn’t know, there was no trace of it on his face before he pulled on his helmet and answered in that voice that still, after all this time, made her shiver.

\- Mustafar.

* * *

_ An hour later, Fralideja - the capital of Mustafar _

If Luke Skywalker knew that the most unnerving thing she found on Mustafar were the gravity supports that kept the buildings from melting in lava, and not the overwhelming Dark, he would either be disappointed in her, or think how he was right when he turned her away as an apprentice.

Well, good thing she didn’t care anymore what the hermit may think of her. Those days were long gone.

She could easily spot locals among patrons crowded in the cantina (if that’s where he hangs out with his Knights, then looks like Kylo is a Solo after all) – they were all wearing these weird dirty green-ish armours that looked like they were made from shells. She even turned to see one of them better, wondering what kind of animal had such cover, only to be stopped by Kylo’s hand. On. Her. Waist. That big hand, still – ugh! – covered by a leather glove, must have made her body look even more petite, and his touch seemed to burn through the fabrics separating them. Kira desperately wanted –

He pulled her towards the group of troublemakers in the corner, cutting off Kira’s inner monologue. She only had time to smugly realise how casual Kylo is with touching her now, when they reached the Knights of Ren. Immediately she knew there was something wrong about them. They weren’t men who hunted her down on their Master’s orders through the galaxy, nor those who were killed on Exegol by legacy saber in Ben’s hand... Not yet. First time she met them, when she was Rey, their minds were a mess of Darkness and something she later connected to Emperor’s wraith. And those that stood – or rather sat – before Kira, they were simply Dark Side’s new generation of warriors.

Kylo started to introduce his Knights but after the sixth name she kind of remembered, there was another.

\- And the last, but not the worst – Tai.

What the kriff was going on? Kira was sure there were only six of them, Kylo as the seventh. Did he die before Pasaana... or was something else going on? She focused on Tai – he had the least dramatic outfit (still black, of course) and his weapon looked like a normal saber. His signature was of a stranger – she has never met this man before. On the surface there was Dark... but she could sense the ocean of Light underneath, the way she sensed it in Ben after she healed him.

Others were talking and Kylo joined them as the drinks kept coming, but Kira and Tai just stared at each other – well, his eyes were not visible thanks to the helmet, yet she knew, just like he knew when Kira tried to probe his mind.

::Who are you?... You don’t belong with them::

::I do. Stay out of my head, miss. I followed Kylo into the Ren Order years ago, and I know him much longer than you do. You’re not even one of us::

::Yet::

::Because Snoke said so?::

::No:: – something told her she could be honest with him, that he had the most potential to stay with them and be useful after her plan is complete.

::Cause I’m not leaving  **Ben Solo** alone with the Dark. With Snoke and First Order::

::He’s not alone – did you say: Ben Solo? Ben Solo is dead::

::No. Ben Solo is alive::

As if those words were the key, she felt Tai’s shields lower and peeked into his mind.

_ He was Ben’s friend at Luke’s temple... he went after him when Snoke burned it... he killed another student, reaching into Dark... Voe... Kira scrunched her nose, seeing white-haired girl and feeling instinctive hatred for her...To save Ben’s life...Then following him... Becoming one of the Knights...Voe’s death was a good death given...Being there for Ben and then for Kylo... Watching for the signs of pull to the Light...Finding them...But also seeing Kylo lose himself in the Dark Side... _

In return, she let him see some of her memories: Takodana, interrogation, fight in the snow, the bond, Ben on Death Star, Ben on Exegol, page with World Between Worlds theorem...

::This must remain a secret. Ben Solo will turn...And if not, if he decides to stay Kylo, I will still be there with him. He will live. That’s why I'm here. Don’t let anyone know, Tai::

She felt his determination, carefully hidden joy and relief. Tai trusted her, and Kira decided to trust him in return. She knew he was loyal to Ben.

Just wonder, why he wasn’t there on Pasaana and Exegol...

\- So, Kira… - Tai cleared his throat. - You call yourself Ren but are you really worthy to be one of us? – He said out-loud, focusing everyone's attention on her. 

Kira leaned on Kylo’s chair (None for her? How rude... She may be forced to sit on his lap again!) and rubbed his helmet absentmindedly. Those of Knights who weren’t wearing their helmets right now tried to hide their smiles when Kylo squirmed and Kira had to hold him firmer so she would not lose her balance. They needed to see who was wearing pants in that relationship. Tai and others looked expectantly at Kylo, who said in bored voice:

\- Did you give a good death? Blah, blah, blah. This is an old thing, one tradition that Ren cultivated. It was actually taken from the Sith Codex... And she is a Sith Lady, in case you haven’t noticed – he now sounded defensive, and Maker, Kira loved it. Protective Ben Solo was a kink of hers ever since the fight in throne room of  _ Supremacy _ . The memory still made her warm at heart.

\- But surely she has given a good death once, haven’t you, lady Ren? – said one of the others, helmetless, with amused eyes locked on Kylo. Before Master of Knights of Ren could came to her rescue once again, she has spoken:

\-  **You’re so right** . If i’m to officially join you, you all at least deserve a short, fun story from my past. – Kira let the Dark rise and strengthen among them, maybe showing off a bit of her real signature, but careful not to let it touch Kylo’s. It spread like a bow around him, reaching all of the Knights, even Tai.

She didn't notice Kylo slowly taking his helmet off.

\- I killed my grandfather. He tormented my soulmate all his life, made me watch how he sucked the Living Force out of him and then threw him into a pit, breaking as many bones as he could. Then he tried to take over my body and power, so I struck him with a Force Lightning and poof! He was dead and gone. – her voice was sweet and cheerful, but eyes so bright gold that almost looked yellow.

– So i think it was a good death. Any questions?

* * *

His helmet was somewhere under the table, so thank Grandvader Kira stood to his right and looked at the Knights and not at Kylo.

He felt hot and it was hard to breath. His mind was, so to speak, blown. In a few moments he learned more about Kira than he did since they’ve met.

Her soulmate...

She must have meant her husband, the one whose death was caused by the Jedi, as the Supreme Leader told him confidentially before Kira arrived at Finalizer.

But if her grandfather killed him or hurt him... does it mean he was a Jedi? Was Kira heir to Light, just like Ben once was?

Shyly, hope blossomed in his heart, in a vulnerable place long forgotten, only to be crushed by a wave of darkness – because even if she did, Kira was now Sith Lady, and as she said: once Sith, always a Sith.

Once Dark, always Dark.  **He can’t go back.** And even if with Kira at his side he felt like he didn’t want to go back to anywhere she wouldn’t follow – and if Kira hated Skywalker as much as Snoke claimed, he doubted she would get along with his mother – there was still this flash of Light, tearing into Kylo’s soul, refusing to disappear. He banished his traitorous thoughts, and ordered the waitress to bring more drinks.

After a long, detailed, fiery discussion of Force Lightnings (and sidetrack mention of how it was the undoing of the most powerful Sith Lord in the history) the Knights were fidgeting, the drinks were gone... And Kira, now sitting on Kylo’s chair instead of him, looked sad and wistful. Time to change the scenery.

\-  **Let’s find something to burn...** – Kylo said the ritual words, and Kira visibly cheered up (he learned to read her perfectly just from her eyes and little skin around them that was visible, plus he attended Hux’s mandatory lecture on body language).

\- I may have sensed something interesting when we were flying above the forest... There will be some locals, of course, but i think it’ll be worth it! – it was one of those moments when her accent was lighter and he relaxed as the familiar spark returned to golden eyes.

\- All right, everybody, get to the ship! – he called out.

\- Two in TIE is a company, but i think nine would be a crowd. – he heard her sigh. Knights laughed.

– Who said anything about TIE?

* * *

She wished she had some time to explore the _Night Buzzard_ , but Mustafar wasn’t a large planet and it didn’t take them long to land near the forest surrounding ruins of Vader’s castle. Soon the Knights were wreaking havoc among the cult members with Kylo and Kira’s sabers leading the way.

The hum of Sith holocron was getting louder and sweeter as they were closing in on the ruins. They have separated. The rain started pouring, and it distracted Kira.

(Water falling from the sky never ceased to amaze her.)

She may have drunk a bit too much at the cantina, and the cult turned out to be quite popular, so it shouldn't be a surprise that she found herself almost cut in half by a more fortunate cultist. She only managed to think “ _ Oh kriff I can't save Ben if I die on some lava planet his grandpa liked” _ , before a red, unstable blade emerged from her opponent’s chest.

The cultist fell and so did Kira as she lost her balance and tripped at last. The rain was getting worse but she remained on the ground – luckily not on any lava line – transfixed and staring, as if enchanted, up at Kylo Ren: in full armour, helmet, with wet cape clinging to him, the crossguard red saber still on. She knew there were some of the Knights at his back... It was exactly like part of her vision from Takodana.

_ BenBenBen _ – her stupid heart wouldn’t shut up. Her belonging was indeed ahead.

As minutes passed, rain would not stop and she sat with her butt on the ground, Kylo reached with his hand to help her up. She took it.

She would always take his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We don't know what happens in TRoKR #4 but i bet they won't let Tai live. But he does here! And is, of course, V-President of Save Ben Solo campaign.
> 
> toss a comment to your writer, oh valley of reylos...


	7. Resuming material

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lil' filler chapter, but still with some important detail ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. You probably noticed how i've miraculously made it RAIN ON MUSTAFAR. Sorry for that, i was so keen on letting Kira and Kylo play out THAT VISION, the one Duel of Fates scenario would WASTE, that i totally forgot we were on kriffing lava planet. Shame on me. Not gonna edit it out - it's fiction. We can do whatever we want with SW, it won't be worse than TROS no matter what ;) So let them have rain.
> 
> I think we still got few chapters (but not much. i think) before TFA starts and then the end will be soon (if you read "be my empress, reign over me" you know i plan to finish it right after TLJ
> 
> Thank you for every <3 and comment. Enjoy this little thing before 2k monster crack comes (god i hope i won't be the only one who'll find certain cameo fun)

* * *

After everyone had their fun and the cultists were... no more, Kylo demanded the Knights gave them a lift all the way into the _Finalizer_. If he’s their Master, he reasoned, he needed to finally get something out of this.  
  
Tai (of course it would be Tai) muttered under his breath "Well, you **did** get the girl” but luckily for him, not loudly enough to be heard by Kylo or Kira.  
  


* * *

  
Nobody seemed to care when Kira complained about her tiny precious TIE left behind on "kriffing lava planet!” so she had been promised by all of every one of the seven Dark-siders that they will get it back for her intact.

 _Princess Kylo_ had to, of course, return to the First Order right. Kriffing. Now.

She guessed that the mighty Kylo Ren has never ended up on a small planet shipless. Perhaps it would make him more considerate...(She’d never learned how Ben managed to leave the ruins of the Death Star.)

  
At least she had a chance to explore the _Night Buzzard_ a bit, and the scavenger in her glowed with joy. With her prize safely hidden under her robes, she walked around and asked the nearest ~~victim~~ Knight only the first million questions that came to her mind. Despite the rough exterior and messed up engines, the ex-dungeon ship was incredible – especially the modified laser cannons. Kira wished for a moment she could just take Kylo (and maybe the boys) and wander the galaxy, wreaking havoc and consuming everything the Force would send their way.

* * *

  
When the _Night Buzzard_ landed inside _Finalizer’s_ hangar, the time had come for the Knights of Ren to part. After Kira left to catch up with Hux and his Starkiller drama, Kylo was stopped by Kuruk, who emerged from the cockpit with frown on uncovered face.

\- Watch her closely, Master. The girl is strong with the shadow. The wound inside her gives her power and it could allow her to crush you if she’ll turn on us.

The wound? He must have meant her husband’s death. Whoever he was, it was obvious he still affected Kira greatly from beyond the grave. Anger sparked inside Kylo so he cut the pilot off:

\- She’s much weaker than me! Kira is no threat. – What was he even talking about! She almost got herself killed the first time he saw her off the safety of the _Finalizer_! Kylo still hasn't shaken off that strange protectiveness that took over him.

He put on his helmet and stomped off, with robes flowing aesthetically. 

After he saw the ship leave, emitting a menacing cloud of dark smoke, Kylo decided to find Mitaka.

Someone would have to answer for Kylo’s earlier joyful ride with lady Ren...

* * *

Later, alone in her quarters, Kira sat on the bed dressed only in a somewhat faded, overlarge sweater with a hole on side. She fidgeted, staring at the pyramidal shape in her hands. To Resistance known as Wayfinder, to Kira – after all her studies – as the holocron. Sith holocron, to be exact.

Her original one hasn’t survived travelling through time, and Kira could not believe her luck when she felt it on Mustafar. Perhaps it was the Force that led the Knights there, so she could obtain the almost final piece of her plan to destroy Exegol and wraith of the Emperor.

"Few more weeks, and the Starkiller Base will be ready to strike", Hux promised her tonight.

Everything she wanted – _BenBenBen_ – was so close... Of course something had to go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, fun (in my opinion) update is coming next! Hopefully on Friday.
> 
> Let me know what you think, comments feed the Muse!


	8. You can wear me out/ It isn't the first time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phasma's tiny matchmaker plot!  
> It doesn't go as planned... or maybe it does?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you'll like it. One of few chapters i've been writing for some time...(finally, Phasma!)
> 
> And now, my beloved trope, Jealous!Rey... Enjoy!

* * *

From all the tales Finn has once shared with her, Phasma was the evil incarnate. Ruthless, strict, never seen without her full armour and seemingly unbeatable – "Until Supremacy”, he always added smugly.

But weeks spent with her on Finalizer allowed Kira to know the person behind the armor, behind the stormtroopers’ legend. In a different world, Phasma could’ve ended up friends with Rey... And for Kira Ren, that world may be here and now. Still, she considered Phasma a potential enemy. If everything was to end well for Ben, Kira needed to be in control of all important players on the First Order board.

Turns out the fearless Captain had some weaknesses after all: gardening, cats and... Armitage Hux.

It was easy to figure it out once she met them, and Kira always wondered: where were the rumors about these two? They would make the hottest gossip for sure, but she never once heard anything about it. Maybe it was old news, or maybe troopers were too scared to even mention the possibility. (Child of Hux and Phasma would bring the galaxy to its knees.) She found herself feeling warm at heart when seeing them together in public, professional mode on and absolutely nothing betraying a strong, long lasting relationship between Captain and General. Perhaps Kira was going soft.

And once you had Armitage Hux, his sweet baby Milicent followed. Kira never had much to do with cats before but once she held the ginger beauty in her arms, she fell in love. Becoming Hux’s second most trusted cat-sitter must have had better influence on their growing friendship than their dramatic confrontation not long after he tried to spy on her.

And the gardening, well... Kira didn’t dwell on the obvious parallel in Phasma and Snoke’s hobby, especially after she saw the gorgeous, lush jungle that Captain has somehow created on this Star Destroyer. At some point she didn’t even care if she helped Phasma with her plants (oooh, look, she had Nightbloomers!) because she needed her, liked her or enjoyed the activity way too much. Or maybe all of that.

There was a day when they have just finished working on Captain’s garden, and while putting her armour back on, Phasma mentioned casually:

\- Listen, Ren. If you think no one noticed how you only harass people who had First Order’s posters with Kylo Ren over their beds, then you’re wrong. I did.

Kira muttered something and smoothed down her robes nervously. The cowl was useful, hiding her reddened cheeks from Captain’s amused eyes.

Blond woman sighed.

\- I honestly don’t know what you see in him, but whatever makes you happy. So, there’s someone... peculiar... who is ALWAYS singing praises about your boyfriend. No, don’t give me that look, miss, most of the First Order already think you two are married. Matching names, et cetera. They tried to call you Kilo, then Kyra and finally settled on Mr and Mrs Ren. Anyway, that guy says some stuff that made many of us think either he’s stalking Ren or they may have fucked – she finished bluntly.

Phasma has finally put on her helmet and calmly awaited her companion’s response, lips pressed tightly to not let the laugh out. She knew she was playing with fire, but someone had to push one of these idiots to make the first step, and if Armie won’t, then she’s going to volunteer.

Meanwhile, Kira saw red. She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists. It was impossible, right? She would know if Ben had someone?! On Exegol, when they kissed, he seemed as inexperienced as her. Was it just an act? She was being irrational, she knew that, and yet the Force has twirled around in a way that reminded her of Ben’s saber – unstable, wild, dangerous. It was as if she was inside the ruins of the Death Star once again, but instead of desire to kill him, the Dark Side whispered to her that there was someone else who deserved to perish.

\- And who’s that? – Kira asked in an unnervingly peaceful voice.

She definitely didn’t travel back in time to find her future husband and timeless soulmate... dating (she would not think about that other possibility or the Finalizer would explode) some... some random...

Animalistic sound that came out of Sith Lady’s throat made Phasma wonder if that really wasn’t  a good idea after all...

\- Oh, no one important. He works at the Starkiller Base...

* * *

\- No, hear me out. He’s the coolest person in the First Order. Guys! Kylo Ren is shredded. Have you ever seen his lightsaber? Its project was based on ancient crossguards used by... – Matt only stopped his babbling after he saw his co-workers terrified looks. Absentmindedly he checked his Force signature – everything was ok, his presence unrecognisable... Why would they look like that? They were staring at something behind Matt... Everyone suddenly decided that other tables at the cafeteria were safer options. He thought he heard some of them whisper:

\- He had it coming...

\- I would not like to cross her...

\- It was only a matter of time before they told her...

\- Do you think she’s gonna kill him? – that one was rather excited than worried.

He hasn’t heard anyone coming, but the warmth he felt on his back was unambiguous.

Petite,  **familiar** hand clenched on his shoulder.

\- Matthew Randy. I appear to be in need of professional help from our most popular radar technician.

Bewildered, he turned to see Kira. Her eyes were almost glowing, at this moment irises were more yellow than golden. It was the color of a predator's eyes.

Suddenly he realised that  **there was nothing optimistic about this yellow** .

* * *

There was something... odd about Kira as she walked him out of the cafeteria and into some unknown pathway. Firm hand on his arm stopped him from any opposition. What was going on? Surely, his poor cover wouldn’t fool someone who saw him without a mask as often as Kira did. She must have wanted something from him right now and couldn’t wait til he was off his undercover duty. And yet, when she was dragging him into some abandoned corridor? – he couldn’t help but wonder why exactly. What would be so pressing – oh no. Oh, holy Grandvader, his mind has connected the dots and came up with something unimaginable. Well, he  **did** imagine a scenario like that, once or twice, but still! His whole face, not just ears, has burned and probably resembled a tomato, and he could hear his heart beating wildly. HE WAS NOT READY! Would she want to...?

Cutting off his own panicked but somewhat excited inner monologue, Kylo looked at Kira, who had just pressed him against the wall. She was surprisingly strong, much stronger than he experienced during their sparring sessions together. Something was wrong... Her eyes were cold and dangerously narrowed, Force signature raging wild like a storm instead of usual calm and steady hum as if of ocean. He sometimes thought of them as fire and water, two opposite elements. But now it seems the roles have reversed.

\- Now, why won’t I tell you something about your place in the First Order... – she hissed and abruptly he realised three things:

  1. She was pissed off like he has never seen her before.
  2. She has started doing something with the Force to... kill him?
  3. And she was also reaching for her saber.



The world slowed down for him.

Panic, but this time of a very different nature, has spread though Kylo’s body. What the kriff was going on?! Assassination attempt... from the only person he could call a friend? Has Snoke put her up to this? Was that her mission from the start? Or was that a trial to overcome? His mind was spinning, but it was time to do something. Anything...

But he was in his Matt disguise. Is that possible... that Kira didn’t recognise him? Well, she’s always seen him clean-shaven...

Like a sun, hope came back.

He dropped his mental shield and let his signature radiate into Kira.

She froze with her saber’s blade almost touching his neck – he may have not seen her face, but eyes were enough. Mix of disbelief and surprise showed first, only to give way to  **pure terror** . She cried out and pressed a fist to material covering her mouth, then took off his glasses and whispered, bewildered, only one word.

His name. The one he was born with.

\- What did you say? – his voice was harsh, but hasn’t she just tried to kill him?!

\- Ren... – she sighed deeply (of course she wouldn’t call him Ben, he should get himself together!) and turned off the yellow blade.

– I didn’t know it was you – there she was, sniffing and getting angry at her victim! – What the kriff, Ren? – aaand now she yelled. – I can’t believe it, I have almost killed you! – Maker, there were  **tears** in her eyes. Force around them pulsed with agony that he knew wasn’t his.

**She cares about you** ,whispered something deep inside him, something smug he chose to ignore.

\- Yes, exactly! You could have killed me! What’s this, the galaxy day of executing random  **innocent** radar technicians? – he had the right to be pissed off, and he would not feel sorry for her. He was tough, and he was not afraid of female tears! Repeat it some more and it’ll maybe become truth, he thought grimly as his heart clenched.

\- I thought... I thought you were a spy from the Resistance! – she said too quickly. He just knew she was lying. Temptation to reach into their training bond – that’s what Kira said it was and he hasn’t questioned it – and learn the truth was strong, but Kylo would be better than that.

\- That’s an interesting interrogation technique. – Kylo looked down at his body, still pressed by hers to the wall and raised his brows.

This time Kira’s eyes glinted with mischief, not tears. Good.

* * *

Later, after she touched his stubble unceremoniously a few times and teased him enough about his blonde wig – „I bet I can find you something more suitable for a Princess” – Kira let him go back into the cafeteria. The lunch break was almost over but he was starving, even if everyone’s glances were distracting. Finally, he asked the nearest trooper – R3L-Y0 if he remembered correctly – what the kriff was wrong with them.

\- We’re just surprised you’re okay, that’s all.

\- Why would you be? Did anyone sneak almonds into it? Guys, I told you I was allergic! – Matt was raising his voice and looking suspiciously at his lunch.

Everyone tried to stay calm – when Matt’s voice got high and loud like this, things tended to move or explode. They suspected he was Force-sensitive, but decided not to tell him that. Better if he didn’t know he had such a connection to his beloved Ren, cause it would no doubt lead to technician’s death. Everybody in First Order knew that any trace of Force abilities would attract the attention of the Supreme Leader himself. And annoying or not, Matt was one of them, and they would try to do anything to keep Snoke or Kylo Ren away from him, even when they failed when it came to lady Kira.

\- Matt... Kira Ren just kidnapped you in the middle of a day. She was probably doing some space-magic-thing to make sure you stay away from her lover! – R3Y-L0, that was his name, said in hushed, excited and somewhat... worried? voice. – You should be thankful you’re alive. Everyone knows about your crush, and the rumors must have finally reached Her. – The trooper's voice was as fearful as it should be when he was earlier talking about Kylo Ren.

Her lover? Crush?

Since when it’s the common knowledge that Matt the Radar Technician has a crush on Kira Ren?

Matt gasped. – What do you mean, „her lover”? – he packed his mouth full and looked expectantly around. People all around sighed in unison.

\- Uhm, Kylo Ren? – Matt’s eyes widened as he gasped once more. - The guy you won’t shut up about? Also, very married?

He choked.

\- ...M-married?

\- Oh, Matt, you’re delusional. It’s so obvious they’re together. Look at how they always touch each other! Also, Kira Ren literally destroys anyone who has ever looked longer at Kylo. Seen that girl? – he gestured somewhere, but Matt didn’t even look. – All of your „Kylo Ren is shredded” propaganda got into her head and she ordered a poster with Ren to hang over her bed! Next day, she has a rendezvous with Kira. Poor girl hasn’t spoken a word since. And the poster is gone!

Undercover Boss continued to chew on his sandwich.

If anyone was delusional, it was them.

He and Kira were just friends. Right?

* * *

Sitting next to R3Y-L0, R3Y-DR shook her head.

Even Kira Ren couldn’t scare Matt away!

She guessed nothing could stop true love... Despite the news that should have terrified him, they have never seen the Radar Technician smile as goofily as he was now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, don't hesitate to comment! (i need to know if y'all still alive after rain on mustafar!)  
> *whispers* how was it, to see troopers protective of matt? i feel like they love him with tough love


	9. My heart is a crutch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never trust holonet quizzes... Kylo learned the hard way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm sorry it's been two weeks and now you only get lil filler chapter. But it has Kylo being ridiculous, so. It's not bad (hopefully). Turns out e-learning is much more tiring than usuall uni drama. Hope you're all safe at home.
> 
> Thank you for every <3 and comment!

* * *

After Kira’s strange reaction to almost murdering him in his Matt disguise, Kylo began (almost obsessively) to analyze her every breath, their every interaction.

She was fiercely protective of him. She always made sure to be at his side when their Master has been sending Kylo somewhere as his enforcer. But the protectiveness wasn’t limited to missions or physical encounters. Hux has been as nice to him as Hux could ever be, and if anyone thought Kylo didn’t connect this with Kira’s close relationship with General, then they were fools – or considered him one.

She was forcing him to sleep at least seven hours – even after he confessed he had nightmares - and her obsession with feeding Kylo made him wonder if she always had enough to eat herself in the past. In turn he made sure he always had a snack for her somewhere in his pockets.

It kinda reminded him of his mother, the way Leia took care of him - as long as she was present.

And for Kylo there has never been a day without seeing Kira.

It felt good, to be taken care of, even if it made him feel more like Ben than Kylo.

(and he tried so very hard to ignore any comparison between Kira doting on him and Leia’s jokingly tenderness towards Han)

She sometimes asked him, innocently, about his family. Hesitant at first, soon Kylo started opening up and sharing stories, mostly about his father. He carefully avoided any mentions of Luke. He’d rather not have Kira remember her enemy was Kylo’s uncle, nor that he himself was almost Jedi in many ways.

Instead, he told her all he knew about his grandfather, everything he learnt about Vader from Snoke, but also from those few holocrons which also focused on his life as Anakin.

Time has passed and Kylo has grown more and more annoyed at the fact that Kira refused to unwrap her cowl and show him her face. ”It’s a religious custom” she always claimed and cut off the discussion. In theory Kylo could understand why someone wouldn’t want to uncover their face – he did, in fact, spend many years refusing to take off his helmet, only weakening his resolve with Kira ignoring most of his defences... But it didn’t help his curiosity.

Once he joked (he, Kylo, joked!) that she wasn’t showing anyone her face because she was a historically famous person travelling in time with the blessing of the Force. Kylo really meant it as a silly joke, and yet...

The terrified look Kira gave him and her nervous laugh were enough of reason for Kylo to start an investigation of his own.

He found nothing on Darth Vrouw.

The only trial he could think of was taking her to his grandfather’s helmet... Perhaps his ancestor's voice of reason would inspire him, as it did before.

* * *

Kira would have probably mercilessly joked about his Vader shrine, had she not retrieved both the broken helmet AND the crossguard saber, and then kept them always nearby for five years. If any of her old allies considered it weird that she has only meditated with those two objects, for them connected to the Dark Side, they haven’t said anything in that month after Exegol before she left the Resistance.

She remembered an old gossip, something she never asked Leia when she had a chance...

\- There is something I've heard once... Is that true, that your grandfather embraced the Dark Side because he wanted to save his wife from dying?

* * *

Her voice was filled with such sadness, and their training bond throbbed with longing and pain, it all made his heart ache. She was still mourning her lover...

Maker, Kylo Ren promised himself solemnly, he will never fall in love. Not even if his Master’s training allowed this. Nothing could be worth such pain, no amount of power, even if it was specifically pain that made Dark-siders stronger.

Letting go of his idle contemplations, Kylo placed his gloved hand on Kira’s shoulder and answered her with an apologetic hint in his voice.

\- Yes, it’s true. Love has become an undoing of Anakin Skywalker’s Light. – he quoted what Snoke told him long time ago.

But fact, which once didn’t matter to Kylo, now struck him right in the chest.

Unfamous empathy of young Ben Solo, spurned by Snoke and so cruelly destroyed by his training, was shyly creeping back into Kylo Ren, making him feel more and more as if Kira’s broken heart was his own.

* * *

It was a ridiculous, terrible idea. Kylo was smarter than considering something like this to be valid.

He shouldn’t do it.

Surely, there were more reliable sources for such research than kriffing holonet?

It must have been Solo blood in him that made Kylo take out his datapad and type „time-travel”.

First recommended link turned out to be „Is your friend a time traveller? Take this quiz and find out!”

**Perfect** , Kylo thought.

* * *

There was something weird about Ben recently. Kira was getting worried her interruptions in the timeline were being obvious. That one time he mentioned time-travel, or later when he showed her Vader’s melted helmet...

In a moment of weakness, she almost spilled out the truth.

Almost.

But then she remembered the consequences: Snoke finding out and stopping her, before she could destroy the Emperor and any other person who threatened Ben.

No. She will not become Anakin Skywalker, desperate and forever alone, lost in rage and mourning.

She’s gonna save Ben Solo... and then tell him everything.

And they will figure it out together.

Like a dyad.

* * *

He entered a state in which talking out loud to himself seemed right. Kylo kept on answering questions of the quiz and it was as if its creator knew exactly what was going on in his life!

\- Knowing things about me that even I didn't... using strange nicknames... – he murmured as he tapped on the screen furiously. 

Finally, the quiz was finished and Kylo awaited results, biting his gloved knuckle nervously.

_ ‘Congratulations! Your friend is your travelling in time future partner. As many say, love transcends time and space....’ _

He stared at the screen for a while. Future... partner?

Huffing, he scrolled to the comments. Other people got ‘enemies’, ‘descendants’ and ‘ancestors’! Then why did he...

Ugh! It was his own fault, trusting in quizes, probably written by AI anyway!

\- What a bantha shit! – Kylo yelled, igniting his saber. Too late he has realised he still had things to research in holonet.

Oh, well.

He can borrow something from Mitaka.

* * *

Despite the First Order finally obtaining – from Empire’s archives, no less! - a decent fragment of map that would eventually lead them to Skywalker, the hunt for his uncle mattered to Kylo less and less with each day.

Unfortunately, it still mattered very much to someone else.

Kira’s presence, now so perfectly natural for Kylo, has given him a strange feeling of safety. Recently it was as if Snoke had forgotten about both of them.

Until he didn’t.


	10. A disease inside of me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our almost non-existent plot thickens; people are threatened off the screen; Kylo's scandalously naked hand wanders...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More than 2k hits. *screams internally*  
> All these kudos and precious precious comments...  
> You guys are amazing.  
> Thank you so much.  
> *sends kisses and Hugs*
> 
> Also, sorry for any mistakes and typos.
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

The Bond felt wrong.

Of course, ever since her reunion/second first meeting with Kylo aboard Finalizer, it was never as glorious and powerful as the bond they shared before she died and came back and before that selfless idiot died.

But it was always there. Ghost of it, but Kira could feel it all the time.

(To Kylo, she explained they had a „training bond” – Oh, it’s just like the one between you and... our Master. With each day it was harder to lie to him but she stood her ground. First she takes care of grandpa dearest, then they can beat Snoke together.)

So far everything was fine. With everything she read after Exegol on all the Force-bonds that were ever known, Kira managed to control most of what now existed between her and Kylo, never letting much of her own emotions or thoughts slip through. (Not yet.) Still, their connection hummed gently at the back of her mind, soothing deep hidden fears of going back to endless loneliness.

Except for now.

First there was a short, strong impression of panic sent from Kylo, and then nothing.

Well, she could tell the bond was still here. That Ben was still alive.

Other than this?

Nothing.

It was as if... as if he closed the bond on purpose.

Kira gasped and stopped circling around her room. Could that be... Why would he do that?

Conspiracy theories multiplied in her head but she managed to get herself together before she started seeing red. She was acting like one of these crazy, possessive-obsessive girlfriends on soap operas that Mitaka loves so much. Not everything in Kylo’s life had to be about her, right? Not much probably was, anyway. Of course he deserved privacy...

Now that she calmed down, Kira realised in her ridiculous panic she ignored five comms from Hux.

Ooops.

She commed him back immediately and heard his very annoyed voice:

\- I’ve been trying to get to you for ages, Ren! I promised you to always comm when the Supreme Leader wants to talk with your uglier half – she rolled her eyes, of course it’s Ben who is the prettier one! – so i did, and you didn’t answer, and now your precious kitten is already alone with our boss.

Precious kitten! Hmmm... It didn’t sound that bad...

\- Kriff, kriff, kriff! – she forgot about her fake Dathomir accent, but it was okay, Hux was her partner in crime now and she already slipped many times while talking to General. – Yes, I know, Huxie, it’s not your fault. How long has he been there? – Kira almost whined.

Hux only sighed theatrically.

\- I finished my report and left them ten minutes ago. Snoke seemed pretty mad at him, but sadly, I wasn’t in a mood to enjoy it. There are still many adjustments needed on Starkiller...

It was too late to join Kylo now and Kira let Hux continue with his own issues, but mostly those connected to the weapon-planet. Starkiller was, after all, essential to her great scheme.

After a while they agreed to continue discourse tomorrow.

She could feel the headache coming and decided she deserves not just a water shower, but a whole kriffing bubble-bath.

* * *

\- Yes, Master. I will not be distracted. – Kylo wasn’t even lying as he bowed his head even lower, his body still burning from the Force Lightnings the Supreme Leader so generously sent his way. How did he even do it by a holo? There were apparently still some ways of the Force Kylo was not familiar with...

Enormous holo disappeared and he rose from his knees, shaking slightly.

It was not the usual torture – no, not torture: training – that had Kylo wrapped so tightly in freezing embrace of fear.

Seems like his Master didn’t approve Kylo’s carelessness in Uncl – Skywalker’s case, and blamed it on Kira. How could he? She was more determined to destroy the Jedi than anyone.

Kylo couldn’t believe he let his guard down. This fake feeling of safety, as if he could have life outside of Snoke’s plans, as if he could have friends... And now the Master suggested Kira was becoming a nuisance... Snoke sent her here himself! And she was busy with all those Starkiller little dramas, and Hux was always trying to steal her away on some unnecessary errands... It was not her fault they haven’t caught Skywalker yet!

Darkness fed on his emotions, separating him from his Master’s distant presence.

Kira was not to blame, he was!

Kylo cursed himself as he stomped through corridors of the ship and finally stopped when he realised he went not in the direction of his wing, but hers.

He checked the time – Kira was supposed to have some free time now... Not that he had her schedule memorised!

Of course, he could not tell her everything and whine in her embrace like a baby. Kylo made sure their bond was closed as soon as Snoke suggested Kira Ren would face consequences of their failure if nothing would progress in Skywalker’s case soon.

She was so protective of him, but now it was time for Kylo to take care of her.

Still, it’s been a while since they talked... He saw a kitchen droid on its way to her door with a tray full of food (Kira could best him easily when it came to eating hordes of food, and he was a growing young man!) and stopped it with Force.

Kylo took the tray over and shooed the poor droid away.

If he’s gonna disturb Kira, at least he can do it while offering her food.

One inconspicuous comm to Mitaka gave him access to Kira’s private quarters. Lieutenant owed Kylo that after granting Kira similar favor once. (If it wasn’t Mitaka then who?)

After struggling with the tray he finally remembered he had Force. Luckily the corridor was empty now.

With a levitating pile of food Kylo made an impressive entry... But there’s no one to see that. Main room was empty. Before he could start pouting, there was a loud splash coming from what he suspected was ‘fresher.

Considering how much she loved water – never once Kira settled for sonic showers in their training area – Kylo knew she’s gonna be there for a while. He decided to wait for her right here, and if some part of him noticed a puddle of black material that could only be her cowl lying forgotten on the floor, well... Kira certainly would feel him near and cover her face with something else. Or not.

Dropping his helmet sloppily near the entrance and the tray much more carefully on a small table near the sofa, Kylo looked around in wonder – not only did this place smelled like Kira, it was completely enveloped in her Force signature. She must have meditated here often.

Clothes were tossed carelessly on the floor, all except for an old, black sweater, neatly hanged up. It stood out like a sore thumb among all these small-sized cloaks and closely fitting tunics. Clearly it wasn’t bespoke for Kira. Maybe she had to settle for loose, unfitting clothes before, but now she was part of First Order! Why would she keep something like that? Kylo felt offended on his friend’s behalf. Perhaps she was right when she called him Princess...

Something made him ignore the sofa and move near the desk. It was surprisingly covered in papers – drawings mostly. They were good – he recognised Mitaka, Phasma, few officers... Hux – Kylo gritted his teeth – and... was that him? There were at least a few – helmet on, helmet off... and one weird with added long scar across his face. Hmm.  **Would a scar make him prettier?**

Kylo blushed like an idiot he was and put down the drawings. Half-hidden by a pile of old journals, a clean looking one caught his attention. ‘ _ Kira’s survival guide: Finalizer edition _ ’ said the first line. Intrigued, he looked through the pages filled with notes and small drawings until sudden thought made him feel like the pages burned his fingers.  **It’s like her diary. Put it down, nerf-herder!**

He moved away from the desk. How much longer will she be taking this kriffing shower? Now it was time to pout. Kylo tripped and fell conveniently on the unmade bed. He almost screamed like a little girl but then light reflected on a metal buried in the sheets.

Kira’s saber.

His heart raced and strange, feverish warmth filled his body.

It was as if all the Force surrounding him stilled, waiting for a decision.

Reading a diary was one thing. Touching somebody’s saber was more intimate and yet less a crime at the same time. If the Force willed so...

He sat up on Kira’s bed more comfortably and took off one glove.

He swore in that moment everyone on Finalizer could have heard his heartbeat.

Kylo was doing nothing wrong: he always felt like she knew so much about him already, and he only gave her more and more, while Kira remained almost as enigmatic as when they first met. He never forgot that one time she so suddenly opened up on Mustafar, and only after she had few drinks. But it was all she ever gave. Dark side whispered:

She only took and never gave...You need to know. Take whatever you want...

Whatever he’ll see, it would be only the will of the Force.

Warm, pale fingers wrapped around cold, dark metal.

* * *

_ It starts with Luke’s voice. Of course. _

_ -...went straight to the dark... _

_ (His uncle looks scared and so old. Not like a monster haunting his nightmares.) _

_ Dark cave... He can hear water... _

_ The nexus, it’s calling him. _

_ -...it offered something you needed... – way too much Luke for Kylo’s liking. _

_ He stands in front of the window, looking at something small flying in the direction of the ship he’s aboard. _

_ \- Ben. – female, soft voice _

_ \- That’s not my name. – his own voice... but why so uncertain? _

_ \- She drained your Life Force – Luke again, and everything is blue. _

_ \- You know I can take whatever I want. – his own voice, but never has Kylo ever said anything in such... seductive way. _

_ \-  _ **_Grandson... do not follow my path... you can save her..._ ** _ – young man’s voice _

_ \- And another Solo is solo no more... – Uncle Lando fake-cries, smoothing material on Kylo’s shoulders, then laughs. _

_ Chewie hugs him... Chewie shoots him... _

_ \- Princess! – Kira yells in his ear and her arms wrap tightly around him... _

_ \- My son is alive! – ...Dad? _

_ He sees himself in full armor, helmet on, standing in the cockpit of the Millenium Falcon... And then again there, but lolled carelessly on the pilot's seat, dressed like a smuggler, smiling. _

_ \- Young Solo – Snoke’s familiar, so unwelcome whisper... _

_ Two hands touching in front of the fire... _

_ Cloaked figure with red saber-staff, sitting on an enormous, black throne... _

_ \- Long live the Empress! – what the kriff is Hux doing in his vision?! _

_ -... you didn’t even try to stop yourself... – and Luke again. _

_ Man and woman, entertwined, on Snoke’s throne aboard Supremacy... _

_ \- Two that are one. _

_ Snow is everywhere, and so is blood. _

_ Three sabers... _

_ Light explodes under his eyelids. _

**_The girl_ ** _... – says the one who called him „grandson”. _

_...it’s the motivator! – female voice that he heard before finishes off, excitedly. _

__

* * *

Kylo was back in real time and space.

\- What girl? – he whispered, dumbfounded.

These visions were nothing like he ever had before. Sometimes he was looking at them from the outside – even at himself! – and sometimes he was inside, participating. Was it past? Was it the future? Kylo used to think of himself as smart... but maybe he was not. Force visions were always the least dependable area... Ah, what wouldn’t he do to have Maz help him with that...

But **Kylo Ren would not be welcome on Takodana.**

Ben Solo would.

He shook that thought off and stood up, carefully letting go of the saber. He wouldn’t want to drop it too soon, if the Force still had something for him... But it didn’t.

Kylo circled around the room like a caged animal before he composed himself.

There is no emotion, there is peace...

He sat on the sofa and stole some fruit from the tray. He’d never admit to anyone he still sometimes, only sometimes!, uses Jedi credo to calm down. Master hasn’t noticed so far, and hopefully neither did Kira.

As if summoned by his thoughts, the door to the ‘fresher opened up wide. Kylo jumped on his feet to be greeted with overwhelming smell and...

And all he could see was freckled skin and seemingly endless legs before Kira saw him.

She screamed.

\- I saw nothing, I saw nothing! – Kylo yelled as well, turning around and covering his eyes just in case. It was unfortunately true. He wasted his chance to caught Kira unprepared - and finally without her stupid cowl – on ogling her legs, Grandvader help him! He heard quick steps and clink of hangers and soon she let him turn back. Dark material was back. Kylo sighed sadly. It appeared her face was what concerned her most – other than cowl, the only thing cowering Kira’s body now was this ugly, oversized sweater. 

He scowled.

\- What’s your problem, Princess? – it’s been a while since he heard Kira sound so nastily, but he unwisely decided to ignore it.

\- This...  **monstrosity** . Why are you wearing that?

\- It’s my PJs! – she growled and wrapped her hands around her middle as if to protect said monstrosity.

\- It’s awful. Shouldn’t even go to the recycler, but straight to trash. – her eyes narrowed dangerously so he quickly added – I brought you food!

For the first time ever, Kira Ren didn’t look pleased at promise of eating.

* * *

Kylo’s lips were sealed. He told her nothing about his meeting with Snoke and he put up a steady mental barrier between them! Apparently without the dyad Kira had nothing on him. It’s not like she spent a lot of time learning to break through such barriers – before Exegol she was only focused on pushing Ben away and after... There was no one for her to mentally communicate with.

Stop thinking about that, focus on what’s ahead...

And seems like ahead awaited a trip to the past. One of FO agents claimed somewhere on Jakku there was a clue on Skywalker’s whereabouts and - even if Kira would like to just take Ben on a trip to Ahch-To so he and his evil uncle could talk things out like adults – she knew she had to take care of it personally. It wasn’t like there was something on Jakku that could mess up her plans, but...

Just in case.

Hux wouldn’t approve until she had a whole squadron of stormtroopers glued to her back, but together with his tall, blonde weakness Kira managed to limit her companions to five.

Five too many, but still, better than twenty five...

She hated Jakku fiercely and some seriously dark part of her wondered how long it would take for Starkiller to load after Exegol's grand demise. The other part however knew she can’t just do whatever she wants with the galaxy. And there were many innocents trapped on Jakku, not just Unkar Plutt and others like him.

In a twisted display of sentiment she demanded the shuttle to land on the edge of Niima Outpost. Desert night was as cold as ever but this time Rey Nobody stomped in the direction of Plutt’s shop wrapped in a heavy, deliciously warm cloak. She stole that one from Kylo and she regretted nothing.

Something was always stopping her from revealing her face to anyone, even if she thought there was no reason for it. Now Kira was glad she kept the cowl – she didn’t know how exactly the time-travel worked, was her life as Rey erased when she came to this time or did the scavenger simply vanish, never to be seen again. No matter what actually happened with her past self, nobody would recognise her anyway.

She really thought she was so smart, but Maker, was she wrong.

Maybe it was luck, maybe fate or will of the Force, but the moment she closed in Plutt she heard him say to one of his night-time precious customers:

\- I’ll have Rey scavenge it. She’s my best.

Kira froze.

It was something she has never considered before: her past self living her life while Kira carefreely affected the timeline. She couldn’t be everywhere and control everything. If Rey from this time was separate being from her as she apparently was...

Then there were things Kira couldn't stop. Things that must happen the way they did in her time.

She was screaming inside, unbalanced, as she got the information about Lor San Tekka living in one of Jakku’s few villages and then erased memories of anyone who wasn’t loyal to the First Order and saw Kira Ren tonight. To be sure, she reached out with her mind, searching for a dulled signature. Not loud enough to attract unwanted attention, but there she was, Light mixed with Dark, asleep.

Kira quickly let go. Last thing she wanted was to wake her past self weeks too early.

She shivered with disgust. She was so good at ignoring any self-hatred inevitably induced by the Dark Side, but now she had another object for it. Great. Just kriffing great.

Dark, overwhelming, selfish part of her that was thriving ever since she began her scheme was now in agony. Realization was tearing her apart.

Of course she still can save Ben, but...

She can’t keep him.

Back in the shuttle she scared the kriff out of the troopers, igniting her saber and just sitting there and staring at its yellow blade. Funny... If she squinted, it would look red at the edges.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe some of you remembered tags which i deleted a while ago and are not surprised at all.  
> Finale i've had in my mind remained the same so i'm not making all these up as the story goes. (Only 75%)
> 
> Can't wait to hear what you think!


	11. Block out the sad parts so I don’t know what’s real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Research, self-isolation and some more angst. Time-paradox-angst... o.o

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ten more days and we would have had a full month without update! Sorry for that :/
> 
> Thank you so so much for every kudo and comment. You have no idea what your feedback makes me feel!
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes etc. I do my best with correcting them when rereading ;) 
> 
> Enjoy! (read: hope it doesn't disappoint)

* * *

Kira’s behavior ever since she came back from Jakku was alarming.

Even if you forget – and Kylo certainly didn’t! – that it was first time she left Finalizer unsupervised (read: not glued to his side), fact that immediately after returning Kira locked herself up in her quarters, changed the code (and no, Mitaka refused to make anyone hack it - his opposition was so sudden that Kylo let that one go), refused to speak to anyone or leave and handle her duty with Starkiller... All of that was highly suspicious.

To be honest Kylo didn’t mind her letting go of the latter, but he (desperately) wanted to talk to his friend, maybe confess he touched her saber, discuss the strange vision...

But no.

Lady Kira Ren was unavailable.

When he went to whine about this to the Supreme Leader, his Master reminded him that after all, Kira’s main obligation was neither the fleet of the First Order nor the Starkiller Base. It was about Skywalker and the demise of the last Jedi. And so was Kylo’s.

So, instead of moping and lurking as near to Kira as it was possible without revealing himself (she always was sensitive to his signature), Kylo was stuck moping on boring meetings on the bridge with Phasma and – Force, why? – Hux. Few times a day he would stop the intense pouting and listen to something Captain had to say. Apparently, the meetings concerned the upcoming mission to Jakku.

Ugh.

He was so done with this hunt for Luke that the only thing that made him continue the pursuit was his memorable conversation with the Supreme Leader.

When she finally emerged from her quarters, it was only to personally take over some mysterious package included in recent delivery from Supremacy. And then she disappeared again, again without a word to him!

Kylo was so lost that he ended up having a one-sided heart-to-heart conversation with one of the troopers who participated in Kira’s journey to Jakku. Of course, hours later he regretted it solemnly and decided to, at some point in future, erase it from the mind of mmmm... FN-2I87? Something like that. 

* * *

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Every inch of darkness rising inside Kira ever since the Jakku revelation, she has turned against herself. And not even that past self.

Now she had a past self to worry about!

Fear and anger were old friends of her, one of these that accompanied her during nights and days of childhood on Jakku, but also later, with the Resistance. Hatred was more distant, visiting from time to time – mostly when it came to Ben. After all, there was a thin line between love and hatred, and before Exegol she spent too much time on the wrong side of it.

Those three pillars of the Dark Side now crumbled and crushed her.

Not that they were weak – quite the opposite. Hatred, fear and anger, as potent as never before, has risen inside her. That’s not what she wanted! Trip to Jakku left her unbalanced and weakened and that would just not do. She couldn’t protect Ben in such a state.

Kira tried to find balance desperately, chanting credo of Jedi and Sith, focusing on her one goal.

Save Ben Solo.

* * *

**If only she could just get rid of Rey!**

Kira could imagine it, the glorious world where she had nothing to worry about, Ben safe and sound, justice and prosperity blossoming all over the galaxy...

Ah, and these thoughts, these ridiculous, impossible thoughts, they were born of the Dark Side. That’s what happens when you lose yourself in it a bit too much, like she previously has managed to avoid. (After the Death Star, that is.)

She had to stop acting as if her past self was stealing Ben away.

No, no – the real problem was that Kira had to drift away from Kylo, as soon as possible, destroy any romantic feeling he should be feeling already (long gone were days when she would deny their immediate connection).

How hard could that be?

She always thought it was easier to make someone hate you than love you.

She has already fought with Kylo as Kira, and it was sometimes as if she went back in time to their banter during this tiring year after Crait. Usually, when she caught herself like that, she always summoned memories of the Death Star: huge, bleeding wound in Ben’s torso... And any mood for arguing wore off.

Unfortunately, Kylo’s did not. Or maybe fortunately, in these new circumstances

Funniest part – it was only about Starkiller Base.

While it was still just an idea, he didn’t care. But when the base was almost finished and soon the murderous rey (pun intended) would destroy some planet - in theory, a planet filled with people – well...

Son of Alderaan wouldn’t treat it lightly.

It’s also not like he could argue with his Master. But Hux and Kira weren’t Snoke. And Hux wasn’t Kylo’s friend. She probably shouldn’t celebrate the finish of the last, most important element for focusing power of the planet’s core, like she celebrated loudly, with Hux no less and a lot of drinks. Not the smartest idea either. The rumor was she drunkenly promised Kylo, as he helped her back to her quarters, that her big bad husband would kick his ass.

Oh well.

(He probably would. If he was alive, that is.)

Kira claiming he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, that Starkiller had a greater purpose, that it would fix everything, that’s why she was here, why she joined the First Order in first place, all of that just provoked new and new arguments with Kylo.

Perhaps it's a fight over Starkiller that would chill their relationship? Where they were as close as bread and butter, the distance will appear...

It’s gonna hurt at first, but Kira knew the idea was good. It was perfect, right?

She should be happy – she’s found a way out of this impossible situation.

Kira Ren must back off... so there would be a place for Scavenger Rey at his side.

The Dark Side gave her strength for all these years without Ben...

Now it was time to draw more from the Light.

Selflessness.

Love that was giving instead of taking.

No matter how much the Darkness would consume her, Rey will always let the Light win when it comes to Ben.

* * *

She thanked the Force when she asked Snoke for Sith's version of ‘sacred texts’ when they first met in this timeline. After two days of headache, emotional drama, desperate meditation and some healthy self-pity – being so close to Kylo for months apparently affected her more than she expected – Kira was ready to plot. She grabbed the texts before anyone could see ‘Special Package from Supreme Leader Snoke’ ostentatiously written all over the box, and before Kylo could hear about it, she warned nearest officers not to interrupt her and locked herself up in the safe haven of her quarters.

With piles of food stocked providently under her bed (old habits...), Kira was an independent woman and didn’t have to let the kitchen droid in and risk the sneaky Solo getting inside and – Force forbid! – taking a peek at the Sith texts.

The circle of research-plot-sleep-eat-repeat has started, making her lose track of time. Hux was smart enough not to interrupt her with comms, so the Starkiller still was intact. She could work in peace.

She didn’t exactly ask for time-travel themed scrolls. It would be too suspicious, and Snoke had to remain blissfully ignorant until it’s too late to stand in her way... That’s how she ended up with many texts that were useless for her plan, but perhaps would still come in handy in the future.

Not only she had to change her plot so it would include Rey – Kira had to make sure she was allowed to simply be near her past self. Nothing she read on time-travel before had warned she wouldn't be able to, and yet... There was something inside her that told her to be on guard ever since she sensed Rey on Jakku.

It turned out Sith were much more cautious with the Force than Jedi when it came to fragile timelines... For days Kira hasn’t encountered a story of a single one Darksider that would actually meet their past selves...

Until she did.

Kira did not like what she read on that matter. It actually ended up as an explanation of how some Sith lost his master before they could be, well – as it happens with Sith – murdered by the best apprentice, tha man who wrote this paragraph. They travelled to days of said master’s youth and even after returning the original time, he has „never seen or felt Master again”. A different handwriting below claimed it was caused by „unsettlement of the balance in other time”.

They had to be wrong about this, she had to...

Kira clenched her teeth and read the remaining texts.

She couldn’t believe she didn’t find such information in her own time! There was no Snoke there, she had Exegol files, Luke’s journals, safe-to-browse holonet, whole kriffing galaxy to roam in search of information... And only now, in the past, has she learnt this.

Her head hurt and she probably should have been sleeping for hours already, but she couldn’t stop until she had answers that would please her....

But no matter how long she's meditated, no matter how many scrolls she has read, when Kira looked inside herself, she only found one truth: she didn’t have much time.

Unless they visited times when they weren’t born, time-travellers could not exist along their past-selves. It made Force deeply unbalanced. She theorised she could be here as Kira only because Rey’s powers were ‘asleep’ in a way and also hidden by Jakku (the desert hell seemed to escape notice of most Sith, maybe except the Emperor). The so-called ‘greatest minds of Sith’ could only explain it with a single world: ‘somehow’. She laughed, but it wasn't a cheerful sound.

Why was it so surprising that she had to lose it all once again?

Taking a deep breath, Kira stood up and pushed the Sith texts away. She had plans to do, relationships to ruin, errands to make, generals to prepare for the future... If she was correct, the only reason why she was still not disintegrating-itself-time-paradox was that thanks to the dyad, Kira Ren had someone to balance her presence here. At least as long as the powers of her past self haven't awakened... She had no doubt what would happen then.

Time was running out.

With the capture of Poe Dameron the events will be set in motion, and she won’t be able to control all of them. Kira still had some back-up ideas up her sleeve though...

* * *

He is going to focus on Jakku operation, so the hunt for Skywalker could finally end. Kira’s been different after her self-isolation. He felt Dark Side radiating from her more vivid than ever, her saber damaged some terminals recently, she was always ready to argue with him about Starkiller – and she used to be so sad when they fought before! Kylo tried not to let this fights with Kira get into him. Mitaka started to stick with him of all people when Kira’s outburst began, and now it seemed that despite her growing indifference towards him, she had started to throw at him sudden, uncommon advices:

\- Never propose after insulting your girl.

\- Ripping necklaces off someone’s chest is NOT sexy. – that one sounded as if she was trying to convince herself.

\- High-waisted pants are NOT sexy either. – the look she gave him made Kylo wonder how Kira contacted his personal seamstress.

\- Showing off your combat skills is a good move.

\- Sweeping a girl off her feet is not something you should do literally.

\- Don’t ever tell people they’re nothing, but not to you. Intention may be good, but it sounds awful. (He couldn’t agree less.  **There was something clearly romantic about such a declaration!** He’d have to remember this. Not that Kylo would ever need anything romantic... But you never know.)

His visible confusion at her gems of wisdom always amused Kira.

Hux once joked crudely that she was giving Kylo dating advice and in painful realization he felt like he was back a seven years old, scared to death of being married to some fat, old lady after reading one of Mom’s romance novels. He lived in fear for some time until he decided to confront his father of all people.

Han Solo promised him solemnly that if Leia ever decided to arrange marriage for Ben, the two of them would run away on Falcon, and Uncle Wanwo would certainly help hiding them.

Kylo shrugged off the memories and Force-choked Hux discreetly, earning a stern look from Kira.

He stopped immediately and shrugged innocently. He’s been shrugging a lot recently, ever since he realised the effect it had on Kira. It was something that triggered the touchy-feely part of her, and in these days of her growing distant and cold, Kira’s rare touches were the only thing cheering him up.

Not that he’d ever admit it.

(But there was no reason why someone would try to arrange a marriage for him now, was it?)

* * *

She couldn’t let go of him completely, but could anyone blame her? It was Ben. Her hugs were platonic, Force-damn it! And it’s not like she had much time left.

After the Force awakens in Rey...

...Kira Ren will be no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: *thowing angst to the mix and overdosing*  
> Also me: HOPE IS LIKE A SUN
> 
> (also sorry that i suck at explaining all that Force mumbo-jumbo. it really sounded good in my head when i came up with it... almost month ago. eh.)
> 
> \+ "Somehow" bit is obvously me giving an evil eye to the TROS


	12. For me it's the last time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> avoid_dialogue.exe stopped working. i think
> 
> (some people talk in this, i swear!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After 1/3 of this chapter i actually wanted to delete it all and start again. I really hope you won't wish i did. 
> 
> But, what's more important: thank you for every kudos, subscription (asgsfhdj i can't believe you guys really want to read it) and comment. I love your comments so. so. much.
> 
> You know you guys are the only reason this didn't end up as 1k mess somewhere on my laptop?
> 
> Before the notes will get longer than actual chapter...
> 
> ... Enjoy!

* * *

She didn’t dare to contact Tai Ren through the Force and push her luck. She’s already gotten away with many things under Snoke’s creepy presence and of all her allies, she was least sure about ex-Jedi – despite sharing with him her secret. She knew who he was really loyal to, and she couldn’t risk Ben learning the truth.

Kira looked around Finalizer’s conference room, now empty except for her and three of her closest partners-in-crime. They were people who wouldn’t betray her trust – little strings pulled here, small threats whispered there, few fragile details she has known from their future... Careful threads of manipulation - but also something genuine - all of it now resulted in three trustworthy members of First Order, standing before her...

Ah... She was getting sentimental... Maybe it’s good, since she was going to discuss her upcoming death with those who would not rat her out to Kylo. Phasma was already convinced that Kira was higher in ranks than him, Mitaka won’t dare to ignore the billion tasks she was going to shower him with, and Hux... Well, she wanted them to become if not friends than at least allies against Snoke but Kira was running out of time, so Hux would remain Kylo’s rival and would be the last person to choose him over her.

\- Hux. Phasma. Mitaka. My dear friends – no matter how dramatic it will get, she was planning this speech the whole night and she’s gonna deliver it. – There will come a time when i’m no longer with you...

* * *

Ugly face of Armitage Hux, crimson red from running like crazy all along  _ Finalizer _ , was the last thing Kylo Ren wanted to see this early.

Or ever.

It was finally the day that would begin the end – in a few hours he will personally interrogate Lor San Tekka, rebel scum, one of New Republic’s best known figures and – the last and the worst crime – friend of Skywalker. He was glad the Knights had spread all over the systems and he would do it alone. There was no need for irony of them bringing him a man he once protected as a young boy from the Knights themselves...

He pushed away those fruitless thoughts and concentrated on General, who had unceremoniously interrupted important preparation (one of them was, of course, polishing the hilt of his saber. Before he died, Lor San Tekka would see how great Kylo is at being Darksider!).

\- What do you want, Hux?! – he barked, once again thankful for the helmet's voice modulator. Without it, he always felt childish during their arguments. Despite General’s higher voice, those three years that he had over Kylo would always stung... But now with the helmet, Kylo’s voice sounded genteel.

Like an adult’s.

Meanwhile Redhead seemed to have troubles with catching his breath.

\- Is this... safe... Can we... talk... here? – he gasped.

Kylo slowly blinked, but the helmet had its disadvantages, so he nodded and wondered if the General’s paranoia managed to finally get the best of him.

\- What is this, what do you want to  **talk** about? – he pursued and froze at General’s answer:

\- Something bad is happening with Kira.

* * *

Kira was powerful, of course, but not enough to overpower him or any of his shields. And, as she seemed to avoid their training bond since Jakku, there was no way she would hear anything that Hux told him. General, torn between thinking of Kira as almighty being (what happened to this Force-doubting man these last few months?!) and last tracks of common sense and logic, has not spoken a word until he saw Kylo make sure nobody was eavesdropping, watching or ‘doing this Force-thing’.

In other circumstances it would be even funny, but not when Hux knew something Kylo didn’t  **and it had to do with Kira** . Anxiety slowly rising, Kylo took off the helmet, slammed his fist on the nearest console and welcomed needles of pain.

It was time for the General to spill the beans.

\- She gathered us in an empty room and started this weird speech... like an old-lady on her deathbed. ”My time is coming”s, „I won’t be with you for much longer”s, „You have to know how to do it without me”s. She gave us detailed, hand-written notes on upcoming months! Told not to let them into the system! It really freaked us all out! – never before has Kylo heard Hux speak like this, he clearly was moved enough to lose his snobby manner of speech. – And later she specifically forbade us from telling you what she said. Not that we heard anything concrete! – his voice got higher with annoyance – But considering her recent behavior and this... meeting...

Until now he wasn’t looking in Kylo’s eyes, but after a short break in his tirade, green irises met brown ones. If not for their topic, Kylo could say General looked almost serene for the first time.

\- I think Kira is dying.

The only screen in room that was still intact exploded, but Hux chose to ignore it and bravely continued:

\- Who knows how long she knew about it? There must be some reason why she decided to join the First Order and serve under Supreme Leader so suddenly!

Paranoia turned out to be infectious.

\- Maybe when she’d learnt she had only a few weeks of life left...

-... She decided to take her revenge before she dies and here she is! – Hux finished Kylo’s thought and both men shared meaningful looks, surprised to be thinking alike.

\- And it’s not like we can see if she looks healthy under that cowl... – Kylo sighed, expecting Hux to agree but he said nothing.

Suspicious.

\- You haven’t seen her face, have you? – previously pleasant temperature dropped. 

Turned out General could maintain a perfect poker face if he really wanted. Ugh! Had it not been for Snoke’s direct order, Kylo would have already been reading through memories of his rival-turned-temporary-ally, but he didn’t need another problem with his Master. And there was one more thing...

\- Who else was there? – he drawled.

\- Lieutenant Mitaka – Hux murmured reluctantly.

Great. Two people that Kira trusted more than she trusted him.

Two too many.

Emotions fed his Darkness, so Kylo turned on the blade and stomped around the room – it looked too flawless, even with the damaged terminals.

\- No! – yelled Hux unexpectedly, making Kylo flinch.

\- What?!

\- I know that look! It’s not time for your childish tantrums, Ren, we have to... – redhead waved his hands chaotically – Do something, think through this... Kira situation!

\- Or I could go now and confront her.

Hux just gave him a look.

Right. As if something like that worked.

\- First, let’s have Order’s best medical unit sent to the Finalizer.

\- Don’t you, Force wizards, have the power of healing?

-That’s not how the Force works!

* * *

Apparently Princess Kylo demanded Kira’s company on a mission to Jakku. Phasma seemed odd while delivering the message (what, has he smashed his commlink again?), and she wondered whether the other two are gonna act as weird around her from now on. Maybe she shouldn’t have told them. Maker, she was too honest this time, wasn’t she? It’s not like she said she was going to die...

What was Kylo thinking? She had work to do, final pieces to put on board and kriffing Starkiller to launch! She decided to live in denial until the end, and so far Kira ignored any thought of her upcoming... d-word... Yet it didn’t mean she won’t worry about the weapon-planet. The only thing that could make things worse would be Starkiller not able to blow up the Emperor and his minions.

She never had thought it would be too much for one fragile shell of grandpa dearest, that she could have come up with a simpler, easier, galaxy-friendly plan.

Nothing that would keep this monster away from Ben could ever be „too much”.

As she followed Captain and her squadron to the hangar, Kira reminded herself that in the original timeline her help was not essential to Starkiller and everything would be fine if she wouldn't be hovering over engineers and technicians, correcting desperately any tiny errors she could spot.

There he was.

In full battle regalia and – judging by his signature - pouting under the helmet, Kylo Ren has been already waiting for her in his private shuttle.

Normally she would jump straight at the opportunity like this. Any parsec she could spend with Ben was precious. But ever since she has learnt the truth of her past self still being out there, so close, Kira declined accompanying Kylo on any of his enforcer errands for Snoke. He seemed to deal with it. Tonight – it will be night on their destination – was different.

Kira could feel the warmth of anger covering her cheeks.

She has been ordered around, as if she was some lowly officer under him in the chain of command and not on the outside of it. Perhaps it was a fact that Snoke wanted her included in Knights of Ren and that Kylo was their Master... It all summed up to him being above her in their tiny inner-hierarchy. Oh well. Others liked her better than they tolerated Kylo anyway. Master of Knights of Ren or not, it won’t change that when the time comes, even mighty Kylo Ren won’t stand in her way to drag him away from death.

His signature seemed to lighten up when she lolled on the seat opposite of him. That was all she had: Kylo had his face covered on every occasion she saw him since she started distancing herself from him.

That’s not my fault! – she wanted to yell. – You’re supposed to fall for my past self, go back to Light. And to survive it this time. You can’t have any distractions!

_ Like a dead crush? _ – this tiny, mean voice on the back of her mind supplied.

She was scowling so hard it almost made him laugh.

\- Credit for your thoughts – she jumped at his deep voice coming through the modulator.

Deep voice? Control yourself, girl!

\- What? – she hissed.

Yeah. She was so in control.

\- Your eyes are so expressive, and yet i still have no idea what’s on your mind, Kira. Sometimes i’d just like to get inside your brain and see what you think – he sighed.

It made a perfect opportunity to sneak in another gem of relationship wisdom:

\- Never, ever consider breaking inside a lady's mind. At least until you have her permission. – she got a dreamy look when she remembered the good part of Exegol, when they stood as one, when they fought their respective opponents without letting the other’s mind go.

\- ... Kira. Ki-ra! – she heard her new name and snapped out of it.

No Exegol memory ended happily, anyway.

\- I’m trying to finally talk to you about something other than your precious Starkiller! You’ve been avoiding me. – he said urgently yet quietly. It’s not like they had much company here. Phasma and her special FN-squad were ahead of them and probably already made the planetfall. They should be taking care of the target. Why was Kira needed, again?

\- Oh, please. Why would I be avoiding you? I’m busy, that’s all.

\- And why is that? From what Hux has been bragging about lately, the Base is practically ready. Hunting Skywalker is pointless without the other piece of map. That’s why we’re going to Jakku. That’s what you should have been working on for the last few days, instead of some mysterious packages from Supreme Leader!

\- Oooh, Princess, is that jealousy I hear in your sweet voice? – she crooned mockingly. - Don’t you worry, Kylo, our Master didn’t forget about you. Although, if i were you i’d wish he did...

Safety be damned, she moved so far on her sit she could almost touch him.

– You’re an idiot if you think i can’t feel it. Burning through your soul. This... unfortunate... attraction... to... Light. – in a parsec, she switched from a soft, intimate voice to cold and amused. – If I had sensed it with that little Force that I have, then without a doubt Supreme Leader Snoke can feel it too. Be careful, Kylo.

He was stunned. The shuttle has almost reached Jakku when she heard him:

\- Are you threatening me, Kira?!

\- No! – she yelled. - Maker, no. I’m telling you: be. Careful. You’re an open book, Kylo. How did you survive so long? – without me, she wanted to add.

Kira was glad she'd never told him the truth. It was tempting, many times, but she resisted, and thanked the Maker. Her Ben was so... open. No wonder he needed that stupid helmet. Her heart melted, her soul sang to the Light she felt better with each parsec they got closer to Jakku, but her brain luckily took over once more.

Not yet. Not yet. Nothing’s ready. Keep him deep in Darkness a little bit longer. It’s too early.

\- I'm the heir to Darth Vader, Dark Side’s Chosen One. There’s no Light in me! – modulator or not, his voice got higher and she wanted to toy with him some more, but there was no time.

The shuttle entered Jakku’s ugly atmosphere.

\- Yes, of course. Kylo, we can’t land there fighting like children. We have to make a united front, inspire our army and frighten all enemies of the Order. Tell me again, who’s this man that got the map?

\- Lor San Tekka. He was my... he was Organa’s associate and Skywalker’s close friend. They spent some time travelling with him, searching after artifacts and lore. - there was something in his voice... something she could hear echoing in the ghost of their bond.

Longing.

Suddenly, her memory supplied Kira with his words from Death Star.

**You can’t go back. Just like I can't.**

Oh, Ben. She was going to make sure he can go back, wherever he wants.

* * *

He was going to make sure she can live as long as possible. His only friend on the Dark Side.

Tai was no Darksider, no matter how much Kylo sometimes wished he was. And Snoke...

Snoke was no friend.

Kira was different. Special.

Kylo still had no idea what was wrong with her, what made her say all these things Hux repeated almost to the word. The shuttle was bringing him closer to the map, to his evil Uncle, to fulfilling a promise he made to his Master... And perhaps closer to helping Kira. He didn’t need to kill Skywalker right away. Kylo could take some time on interrogation. If someone knew something about Light Side healing abilities, it would be him.

Kylo can’t let such power, such knowledge die without possessing it for himself.

Selfish purposes and all.

Selfish purpose stared at him with golden eyes and faraway look.

If only he hadn’t heard the bad news from Hux. If only she talked to him!

Were his parents like that, too? He couldn’t remember. He shouldn’t think of them anyway.

**And stop comparing you and Kira to your parents! You’re ridiculous, Ben!**

Kylo. He meant Kylo.

It was time to confront someone from the life of Ben Solo, Jedi prodigy. Boy who was dead, replaced by him, Kylo Ren, Master of Knights of Ren, heir to Darth Vader...

Kira interrupted his encouraging inner monologue.

\- You’re going out or not?

He looked up at her, and saw the burning village through the windscreen.

\- Yeah. Right. On my way.

They left the shuttle, shoulder to shoulder.

United front.

It sounded nice when Kira said that... And they sure looked more than nice, two dark silhouettes emerging from the shuttle in a cloud of white steam. They didn’t need to walk far.

Two troopers held somebody. Was it that long ago, when he saw Lor San Tekka last? Kylo barely recognised the man he saw before him.

Old man looked briefly at Kira, who stood at Kylo’s side relaxed, her signature radiating with sweet, calming Darkness. He may have puffed his chest a bit.

As they talked, Kira remained silent and seemed to lose her interest in San Tekka. She looked curiously at the villagers, gathered behind the rebel they’ve been hiding for so long.

\- You may try, but you cannot deny the truth that is your family! – the old man said, a little too loud for Kylo’s liking. He felt Kira’s amusement and raised his saber, ready to strike, words on his lips:

\- You’re so right.

But before he could strike, somebody shot.

Not at him.

At Kira.

He froze the shot with his hand. Something cold wrapped around his insides. One breath too late and there would be no mysterious illness needed. Kira would have died!

Kylo never felt such pure anger before. He turned to the direction of the shot, but before he could do anything, like tell the troopers to bring him whoever was guilty, Kira gasped. She was looking at the frozen blur of laser.

\- Wow. I still didn’t master this thing... We got to work on this soon, Princess. – she said in wonder. He caught her unguarded look, filled with awe. Surely he imagined the adoration.

Lor San Tekka’s eyes widened when he heard that nickname, but luckily for him, the old man said nothing.

Kylo watched as Kira, with a wave of her hand and crazy smile showing in her eyes, simply summoned the rebel's body in front of them.

He looked straight from the Resistance propaganda poster, with his perfect dark curls, healthy skin and perfect teeth that he flashed at them with a nervous smile.

\- So, how does it go? I talk first, or you talk fi... – he hasn’t finished, because Kira closed in, grasped his perfect jaw tightly and said in this deceptively soft and sweet voice that made Kylo shiver:

\- Poe Dameron. Leia Organa’s favorite flyboy. We’re gonna have some fun, you and I.

She closed her eyes, and Kylo couldn’t help but briefly touch the surface of the pilot's mind to feel Kira’s effective, clean...

\- Search his ship! – she yelled, and pushed Dameron in the arms of the nearest trooper. – Take that scum. You and your friends can welcome him on Finalizer properly before I have my way with him.

She was magnificent.

\- I’ll just finish him off and we can go back – he promised, hopeful, but the yellow blade clashed with the crimson one.

\- Wait, Kylo. - This time Lor San Tekka’s eyes were only on the Sith Lady. – I have a better idea...

* * *

Dragged by the troopers to the First Order ship, Poe Dameron turned to have one last look at the burning village.

He could only hope his brave little Bee-Bee would make it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the worst chapter since ch 4. it's been a MONTH!
> 
> I think most things from TFA and TLJ should remain the same. I won't copy+paste the books. I'm too lazy for this. Also it's been a while since i read novelizations and watched TFA.
> 
> Anyway. We're approaching the end... since we finish in the Throne Room, and i will only write stuff that has changed because of time travelling chaotic Sith-wanna-be. (maybe later i'll shower you with one shots, idk)  
> /edit: who am i kidding? i already have a title for whoesoe spin off!/
> 
> The chapter count still doesn't exist. At the beginning i thought i will wrap it up in 10 chapters but here we are: chapter 12 and TFA barely began! 
> 
>   
> anyway. (i've overused that word this time, i know)
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> / **2020-04-08: Edited typos, got rid of some embarassing mistakes. Hopefully chapter 13 will finally continue to write itself.** /


	13. Break my bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Triumphal come back from hiatus (or is it?). 
> 
> Ends with a scene everybody waited for... and our favorite TROS legacy word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.
> 
> It's been a while. Sorry. 
> 
> I don't know how planned month long hiatus turned into 3 months. I even wanted to plant an author's note... I m glad i didn't 'cause i would promise to be back at the end of June and here we are. August. Eh. 
> 
> Hopefully few people still remember what whoesoe is. 
> 
> Also, hello, new readers! As you can see, i'm alive. Please leave a comment and share what you think of whoesoe (newbies) and new chapter (y'all + whoesoe veterans)
> 
> As for future readers, who got the whole finished product, i hope it won't feel different than the story so far.
> 
> Warning: overdose of ellipsis (but whats new?)

* * *

Of course, Kylo was really keen to help her with the interrogation. Not only was the pilot someone Kylo’s estranged mother has trusted, but he also dared to shoot at them...

Her Dark Side Bae was outraged.

For the first time ever she felt from him pure indignation and it was quite sweet. If you forgot that interrogating Poe Dameron was one of his future most unfamous acts, at least according to the Poe-loving Resistance.

Rey has never liked Poe.

She had to tolerate him since they shared a cause, Leia asked her to be nice, and her best friend... Well, he was painfully obviously in love with him. Finn and Poe have danced around each other for the entire year, acting like an old, married couple and only after the great victory (that felt nothing like victory for her) were they finally settling into a stable romantic relationship.

A sight that hurt her eyes. Why couldn’t she be happy, but others could?

And it wasn’t just that he regularly took Falcon away just to bring it back damaged, or that he was annoying, arrogant asshole, that he acted like a center of the galaxy, that he would never actually listen to whatever she or anyone other than Leia or Finn had to say, that he thought he can boss her around...

No.

The thing that made her almost hate Poe Dameron (because of course, she was Rey of Jakku, Scavenger-turned-Padawan, champion of Light, hero of Resistance, she was not allowed to hate anything other than First Order and its Supreme Leader!) was that Leia treated him like a son.

She was always talking to Rey how she was proud of him, how ‘Poe will continue the Organa legacy’...

And Rey just wanted to scream and yell and trash around, because how could her ‘Master’ give up on her own son? She acted like Dameron was her own flesh and bone, who knows for how long before Rey has joined the Resistance, while Ben was out there on Snoke’s mercy. And then, later, when Rey failed to bring him back home, why Leia didn’t do anything? She never dared to share her thoughts with General Organa, because who was Rey to understand family...

After losing Ben she was done with excusing anyone. They both have been failed by their families, but mistakes of Luke and Leia have had more dangerous results. Nothing Rey has experienced on Jakku could compare to Snoke and the Emperor corrupting Ben’s life. She couldn’t stop them back then, but now, as Kira, she had a chance.

If her first plan of ‘standing with Ben as his Empress and ruling the galaxy together after eliminating all the threats’ must have been changed to ‘steering him to safely turn back to the Light Side and reunite with his family’, then so be it.

Personally taking care of interrogation of one Poe Dameron was the first step that would allow Kira to make Kylo seem like much less of a threat to the Resistance, especially compared to her.

And if the Dark Side has whispered that it would make a nice payback for being Ben’s replacement for Leia, well...

Kira was never meant to be an instrument of Light.

* * *

She claimed she wanted the troopers to warm up Dameron for her and that she wouldn’t share, despite Kylo’s pleas, so he’s been anxious when she’s finally emerged from the interrogation wing, radiating dark satisfaction.

He felt wistful and almost jealous, and for a brief moment everything was like it used to be... But then he noticed her uneven breath and dark circles under those striking golden eyes, shadows that couldn’t have been part of a make-up. Was that connected to her mysterious illness, the one he has discussed with Hux?

Kira was looking at him expectantly, eyes cold as if she suddenly remembered she was ‘’busy’’.

Right. Their search for Skywalker.

\- He had given the missing piece of the map from San Tekka to his astromech, a BB unit. No droids were found in the village, so it seems we’re not leaving Jakku’s orbit for a while. Now, if you’ll excuse me – she gave him another evil look. – I have a conference with Hux and the Supreme Leader to attend.

She tried to pass him, but Kylo grabbed her wrist, deep down cursing his gloves, and tugged her closer, trying to come up with something to keep her with him for a little while.

\- What? – she hissed. He wasn’t in good graces when there were no enemies to watch them or troopers to ‘present united front’ to, it seemed.

\- Dameron. Is he still there? – maybe, just maybe... There was nothing to renew friendship like interrogating someone together, he thought. Tai has never liked such things, but Kira was definitely not Tai.

\- No, why... They’re moving him to the cell block. He should be gone by now.

Something shone in her eyes, but Kylo had no time to contemplate it, because just as she said the last word, the alarm resounded all over the Finalizer.

***Illicit departure. Illicit departure. Illicit departure.***

Kira and Kylo ran together (at last!) all the way to the hangar, just to watch a rogue double TIE leaving the Finalizer under fire. They gave as good as they got, Kylo noticed absentmindedly as something exploded in the distance. He gritted his teeth.

That better not be one of his prototypes.

* * *

Later, Officer Peavey gave them a report. Kylo didn’t really listen to him, just watched a peculiar look on Kira’s face – part anger, part... contentment. Like she had a plan that eventually went right.

\- ... suspected: FN-2187... last mission on Jakku... serves under Captain Phasma...

\- That’s right, I remember him... Kylo? Remember? The one with blood on his helmet?

\- Eh, not really. – Kylo shrugged – I wasn’t paying attention to troopers... – he turned his puppy eyes at Kira. Ah, he should have known they would work! But then that annoying officer was back to his report.

He wished for Peavey to leave them alone, so of course that was the moment that Phasma and the hologram of Hux chose to join them. Women eagerly started explaining the whole affair to Hux, and Kylo could only pout in the distance and frown at the General. He wanted to ask the redhead about the medical station that was supposed to intersect with the Finalizer on his command, but he couldn’t with Kira being in the same room.

Finally, his attention was brought back by Kira’s voice:

\- ... I’m the one who sent FN to remove the prisoner from the interrogation wing! It’s all my fault!

Her over dramatic sigh, Phasma rushing to comfort her and General’s attempt at bringing the conversation back to the point – all of that just blurred from Kylo’s mind that was suddenly filled with suspicions.

Kira’s behavior around Dameron and after interrogation...

Maybe it was Hux and his paranoidal brain rubbing off on him but Kylo’s thoughts raced.

Could that be... that she has planned the whole thing? Traitor among the stormtroopers, Dameron’s daring escape...

Was Kylo supposed to play along? Did the Supreme Leader know, and if not, should he?

Could Kira possibly be a spy sent by  Mother the Resistance?!

No, no, no.

Kira was a Sith and Snoke trusted her. Perhaps more than he trusted Kylo. It wasn’t even her fault that she had distracted him from his hunt...

Of course she was loyal to the First Order! The Supreme Leader was wise...

Grandvader! What was Kylo doing here, wasting his time on these fruitless thoughts when he should finally focus on Skywalker? To get to  **him** Kylo needed Dameron’s droid, so he was going to get it!

With a new confidence straightening his back and rising his chin, Kylo cut off Kira’s latest monologue and began what he was meant to do: commanding.

He was so engrossed with his plan that he ignored Kira, who left the meeting with a satisfied, smug look on her face.

* * *

Her job was done – at least for a while.

Kira still had a lot to do before Rey’s awakening would kill her. She was sure she had time until Kylo comes back from Takodana, lets them jump back to the Starkiller and starts his own interrogation. Compared to what a random Rebel has experienced (or what Kira has done to Poe!), his treatment of Rey was surprisingly gentle, even if it felt anything but that when she was on the wrong side of the table herself...

She has brashly lied earlier, of course, there was no conference with Snoke... Hux won’t blurt anything out to Ben. It was the only advantage she had from having no time to force these two to make up. Still, after he reunites with his parents, he won’t need support from Hux.

That wasn’t exactly what she dreamt about all these years... But if Ben will be happy and alive, that’s enough for her.

Now, her pawns... Phasma was not to be disturbed, leading the troopers after Finn... Hux was busy making sure Starkiller is flawless (she already felt heartbroken at the thought of their baby’s unavoidable destruction)... That only left her Mitaka. He may have been uneasy with her lately, but it won’t stop Kira from being assured that Lieutenant knows exactly what to do these days.

* * *

Thinking of First Order’s best medical station on its long yet actually happening way to  _ Finalizer  _ \- news delivered discreetly by Hux - Kylo was finally able to relax a little. Of course, not for long, as few hours later not only one of his Knights brought back Kira’s terrible TIE from the Mustafar (why?) and disappeared right after, but those idiots lose a kriffing droid  **and** the traitor on a kriffing Jakku, Mitaka mentions some girl (he is not scared, he is not excited, he doesn’t care, he only wants the droid, Grandvader damn it!), Kira suddenly decides she is needed on the Starkiller  **and takes Mitaka with her** (where does he sit? where does he sit in that kriffing TIE?!)...

It was the whole galaxy against Kylo!

And finally, for the finishing blow, Kylo was summoned to the audience chamber and informed by a giant hologram of Snoke, that mentioned the kriffing droid was currently aboard _Millenium Falcon._

With Han Solo.

* * *

Kira Ren?

More like Cretin Ren!

She couldn’t believe she was so sure of herself after all these mistakes already made.

There wasn’t even time for tears or fear or desperate comm to Kylo with a love confession.

(calling herself Sith didn’t change a thing. she was still weak for him)

One minute she was smugly ordering Mitaka and others, gathered in the command center of Starkiller, one hundred percent sure that any Force awakenings will happen here! During the interrogation!

In. Few. Hours.

And the next minute there was this... ripple... of power, singing in the whole Force, reaching her and finding Kira...

**An obstacle.**

**An abomination.**

**Paradox.**

Something that needs to be destroyed, and needs to be destroyed now.

* * *

_ She’s falling apart... Is that what dying felt like? _

_ She doesn’t remember much from Exegol. _

_ Except that it was cold, and now... she’s burning up. _

Somewhere in the distance she hears concerned voices of others.

_ Can’t the Force hurry and just take her already?! _

_ At least he’s not here to see that... _

_ Thank Maker she left Finalizer so soon... _

_ How will they explain it to Ben? _

_ BenBenBen _

_ She should have been smarter... better... so much time... wasted... _

_ The pain is making her numb. _

Screams in the background...

_ She imagines her body must be either fading away or disintegrating in front of all the gathered officers. _

_Rey_ _Kira_ _Jedi_ _Sith_ _Woman loses piece by piece..._

(it will be over soon, i promise)

_...until there's an eerie sound, like a hum. _

_ Something she has never heard before and yet it seems familiar... _

_ Pure electricity runs through her veins _

_ until all that left _

_ is... _

**(a live wire)**

.

.

.

.

.

Kira Ren opens her eyes.

There is no explanation why she’s still here and yet the Force is as balanced as it was before it attacked her.

Just like that, she’s back.

Somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i planned to finish it on even funnier note (aka Kylo) but this way felt nice. 
> 
> ahh, what would balance the Force with a time-traveller Sith added in equation?  
> although the answer is obvious, i will officially deliver in chapter second to last.
> 
> let me know what you think!
> 
> (oh and sorry for typos and weird words. i'm shamelessly uploading as soon as i finished)


	14. Can’t you see

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we get no answers but things blow up so nicely off-screen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It only took me 21k words to do fulfill the whole "Let's blow up Exegol and Palps" plan. Oh well.  
> Sorry for any mistakes, hopefully you'll enjoy the chapter. 
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMMENTS! 
> 
> (there is honestly nothing better than seeing email with "Comment on what happens..." at the beginning. I reread these comments more often than a chapter before uploading, which means: a lot. I admit, i never now how to respond to each of them (what would i write? i would probably just flood y'all with heart emoji.) but i love them so i want to thank you for letting me know you're there)

* * *

First lucid thought was that the only way she was alive would be if all her Force-sensitivity was taken from her as tithe. First logical thought was a realisation filled with relief that she hasn’t lost anything.

Kira Ren found herself on the floor, surrounded by terrified faces and teary-eyed Mitaka. Slowly, she rose and began convincing everyone she was fine. In the meantime, her thoughts were racing.

What did others, not-Force-sensitives, see? What exactly has happened?

Why did the Force and the seemingly unbreakable laws of time-travel decide to let her go?

Maybe there were answers for these questions, here and somewhere else in the galaxy, but she had enough. Rey was never much of a scholar. Last few years of her life she has commited to gathering knowledge, careful plotting and little action. Now she just wanted to live. To finally feel that happiness she’s only tasted for a brief moment.

Everything she truly wanted was at her reach – well, almost everything. But she made some plans even after realising her past self is out there and before she knew (thought?) she was going to die.

There was no point in worrying about the future, right? She’ll take what she can. She will go where Ben will go.

And denial looked ready to be her best friend again.

She was here, she was alive, she was filled and surrounded by power.

Actually, she hasn’t felt this good in a long time. Everything was more vibrant, her senses strengthened, her mind cleared, her control restored. For a second, she wondered whether it was thanks to her past self finally reaching out to the Force, because no doubt that’s what happened earlier (much earlier than she expected).

It had to be the saber on Takodana...

And there she thought everything began in the interrogation chamber. Not everything has to be about Ben and the dyad bond, she reminded herself sternly. It wasn’t like destroying Exegol was just her selfless wish.

Darkness inside her stirred, eager, hungry, but rush of Light countered it, leaving her mind calm and balanced, yet intensely focused.

With a predatory smile at mere thought of Emperor’s final demise, she continued the last stage of the plan.

* * *

Leading the troops on the Takodana already was the source of Kylo’s anxiety. Capturing the droid was crucial to find Skywalker, but now that Han Solo was seen with the Rebel scums...

The Supreme Leader’s order was clear: Kylo was to prove himself, to show his Master that the past had no hold on him. Kylo could only hope confronting his... confronting  **Solo** will finally let him walk the path of Dark confidently.

But the last straw that broke the Tauntaun’s neck was lovely comm from Hux, just before they made the planetfall. General claimed that Kira had just experienced some kind of attack on the bridge. He had no doubt it was not only connected to her mysterious illness, but also something to blame on the Force. Why was that Kylo didn’t learn, as any of his questions and orders were carelessly ignored by the stubborn General.

Nobody seemed to care that all these revelations in last minute would only distract Kylo. He tried to fully focus on the task, but as he stomped on burnt grass of gorgeous Takodana, Kylo could feel his hair lose its volume!

That would not do.

He pressed one of the bruises from last training. Harder... And there it was – the bliss of the Dark Side strengthening him. Anxious boy was pushed further away so the fearless warrior could be in charge again.

As he entered the forest, Kylo Ren swore to himself  **he would not leave Takodana without the droid** .

* * *

Mitaka was tired.

Last hours were one of the worst of his career in the First Order. And the future didn’t look promising.

With all this preparation she made him do (in a very short period of time!) and suspicious, sudden order to leave  _ Finalizer  _ right after her, Lady Commander has terrified him like never before. Even almost... childish recklessness that accompanied various manoeuvers Kira’s TIE has done around his humble shuttle, not even that could relax him enough for Mitaka to forget how furious Lord Ren will be next time they encounter each other!

Seeing her collapse during the most important days of Starkiller Base and First Order’s history, well... Lieutenant seriously considered much, much earlier retirement. At the age of twenty five his heart felt already too old for this. With longing he thought about summoning a medical droid. Both for him and his boss.

Lady Ren, on the other hand, seemed perfectly fine with her recent faint – that was what she said had happened. ‘’It’s nothing, really’’, she just shook off any concern expressed by Starkiller’s crew and ignored Mitaka’s whimper. She looked content as she tapped her datapad gently and talked with slightly angered General Hux. For the first time ever, Dopheld Mitaka felt a connection to the strict redhead. Both men exchanged looks – one worried, one furious - over Lady Ren’s shoulder.

And now she’s started humming some sweet, cheerful tune and moved around the bridge, checking up on others.

Starkiller was ready to strike, and Mitaka just wished Kylo Ren was here.

* * *

She wished Ben was here.

But only for a parsec: Snoke can’t blame him for something he wasn’t present to, so the only one to face the possible consequences was her.

Hopefully not Hux. Somehow she started to really care about that stubborn redhead. He was standing on her side with a cold smile, watching the last preparations.

A Sith holocron in her hand started to warm up.

\- You’re sure? – she asked the General for the last time. She would be making a serious manipulation on his mind and she knew how much he appreciated his safety from most Force tricks.

But the only thing Kira felt from him in that moment was strong determination.

\- I’ve already agreed to be part of it. I trust you, Kira, and I don't trust many people. - Yeah, maybe two at all, she thought fondly. – Do your worst, and see you on the other side – he raised his chin proudly. She nodded gravely.

All the others surrounding them were carefully chosen from the crew for their submission to the Force manipulation. General’s mind was anything but weak, but his consent allowed Kira to plant adequate thoughts and memories inside the mindscape of Hux.

Yesterday it would exhaust her deeply, perhaps mess up what the future still demanded from Kira, but now, after... whatever happened during the awakening, Kira felt strong and capable and she was.

While everyone remained dazed, she connected the pyramidal holocron with the navigational terminal. Slowly, officers came back to their senses. Hux gagged as blood spurted from his nose.

(Phas warned her Huxie was afraid of blood, but Kira didn’t believe her until now)

Unfortunately, it meant a quick break. Pedantic freak had to have his coat changed and the bloody one sent to cleaning, and the Starkiller just couldn’t load without him staring at the screens.

Kira almost felt sick herself when she thought that these precious parsecs could be used by someone knowing somehow about her (their) plot, someone trying to stop her...

But soon Hux was back, face clean and fresh cloak spotless, and the murderous power of the weapon planet could be focused for the first time.

She held her breath when the count came to an end. Hux gave her a quick, excited glance, before they both ran like kids to the windowpane.

Deep, rich red of the Starkiller’s ray was pure beauty. Incredible, focused power.

It reminded Kira of Kylo’s saber. She has spent so much time staring at the blade, both as Rey and Kira, that it was more familiar than her own.

And that beautiful, murderous power was all hers, to use against her enemies, to crush those who oppose her.

She shivered.

It was delicious.

Darkness rose, even more eager than before, but she controlled it with a steady, mental squeeze.

Light cried in agony, but she silenced it.

The Force didn’t control her, not anymore. This time, she was in charge of her fate.

All these thoughts ran through her mind faster than Starkiller’s ray before she took all her power and spread it wide, reaching into the Cosmic Force.

Kira could only guess this is where she will feel it. And yes, there it was – a violent burst of power and sudden silence. There was a hole in the galaxy now, but it was nothing anyone would miss. Not even Snoke, she thought ironically.

* * *

-Ani... don’t you think we should maybe tell Leia that her son... – Padme hesitated, so he finished for her:

\- That Ben has got a Sith girlfriend now and it’s unlikely he’ll turn from Dark anytime soon?

She sighed. There was a far more diplomatic way to describe their grandson’s circumstances.

\- Yes, something like that.

\- You know she won’t listen to me! I’ve been trying for years and maybe if our daughter wasn’t so stubborn she would know that  **Ben did nothing wrong** ...

Anakin’s wife gave him a stern look.

\- First, she takes after you, and second, he did make some mistakes.

Anakin blushed, always ready to cry how Ben’s fall has been blamed on the whole family (except Padme) to blame. But today, instead of the same old tirade she would actually like him to do something.

\- I still don’t get why you can’t just talk to Luke anymore...

\- This idiot boy of ours has cut himself off from Force and plays hermit on some galaxy-forgotten island! I don’t know who taught him that... Or rather, I do! It’s all Obi-Wan’s fault! He started it all with his Tatooine exile...

Padme rolled her eyes so much it hurt – as much as something can hurt in the afterlife.

Here we go again...

She loved Anakin dearly but his obsession with blaming everything on his former Master and best friends was ridiculous. She decided she should leave Ani to his ranting and have a nice, long talk with Shmi. Together they will surely find some solution to the current generation of Skywalkers’ drama.

* * *

After they found him, Leia reached Poe’s mind ever-so-delicately.

She didn’t like what she found.

She and Luke have spent quite some time in Ben’s childhood comparing her son to Vader, with each year finding more and more likeness. He was fiery in his tantrums, he let his emotions control him. Darkness was like a fire in the woods, consuming and always craving more.

Of course her brother would blame it on their dark heritage and she agreed.

Leia now realised they knew nothing.

This woman, this Kira... Even just through Poe’s memories, Leia could feel her, that so-called lady Ren, like a frozen lake, with thin, perfect, undisturbed surface, deceptively calm and controlled. This cold, cold hatred was what she felt every time she encountered Darth Vader.

She was something evil, and if she was as close to Ben as it seemed to Poe?

It couldn’t mean anything good.

Leia wasn’t sure if she was relieved she didn’t make it in time to meet Ben. Apparently, there was no lady Ren on Takodana, thank the Force, so maybe she could have tried to persuade him to leave the First Order and come home. But whether her stubborn son would listen... she won’t ever know.

* * *

R3Y-L0 and R3Y-DR agreed they wish they had never decided to sign for transfer from the Base back to the Finalizer. They missed calm, somewhat predictable gossip, they missed Matt, they missed days when they were relatively safe from Kira Ren’s mad wrath.

There was no way they survived after she learned they were those who escorted Lord Ren carrying some young woman, like a bride (!) to board the shuttle and leave without a droid.

Two troopers could just squeeze each other's hands and try to ignore their Commander, carefully and almost tenderly (who were they kidding, there was no ‘almost’) holding that 'Everything We Need'.

They know that once they’re aboard the Finalizer and the flagship lands on the Starkiller, all hell will break loose.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know, not enough Kylo, but our boy is out there, falling in love off-screen.  
> most of fun things happen off-screen in whoesoe, but it's only because first two movies are awesome (all right, TLJ is The Masterpiece)
> 
> hope the typical polish dialogue-punctuation isn't hurting your eyes. that's like 13 chapters too late, but after whoesoe is finished i could theoretically change it...
> 
> anyway, let me know what u think (even if only about punctuation)


	15. I am powerless/ To your beauty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which no hell breaks loose and our babies play in snow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost 4k words? Quick update? Where did all of that come from? 
> 
> (okay, it's probably because i had some things written earlier. it also means that they may feel out of place among other, newer sequences... but i hope they fit in.)
> 
> Thank you so so much for all the comments! They are wonderful and so are YOU.

* * *

Maybe it was her wishful thinking, but with the Emperor gone, Kylo’s signature felt less contained and more... Happy? Free? There were still, of course, some tentacles of Snoke’s signature wrapped tightly around him, but they felt weak, and he felt stronger than ever. At least in this timeline.

Kira carelessly ignored the troopers, who all seemed to wait for something, as she greeted Kylo warmly after Finalizer made it to the Starkiller. His arms were quite occupied with the unconscious girl he carried, but she managed to pat his helmet and fix the glittery scarf. That would do.

She tried to avoid looking at her past self’s face since she recalled some fantastical stories of time travellers who did just that and died, but Kira felt reckless on power-high from blowing up Exegol, and she took a peek. Nobody died, so she continued examination.

It was strange – the face was hers, and yet it was not. Calm, untouched by crazy grief. If her eyes were open, Kira would see warm, walnut irises. Girl that Kylo carried so easily further into the Base was almost painfully thin and her skin has never been less than tanned. It was hard to call anyone raised on Jakku an innocent, and yet some small thing inside Rey emanated sweetness.

(Maybe because she wasn’t awake.)

She wasn’t forced by the galaxy to become Kira, not yet. Not ever, if Kira herself has anything to say about it.

All these thoughts raced through her mind before Kylo possessively hugged Rey closer, told Kira he will proceed with the interrogation alone and then entered the corridor opposite to the one leading to the Starkiller’s interrogation chamber (no, not a wing like on Finalizer: they were too busy on the Base to care too much about places to keep guests).

\- Can you believe this? First he brings some rebel girl instead of the droid, and now he takes her to his personal quarters to question her himself! – the sweet voice of indignant Hux ringed in her commlink painfully. General was probably watching Kylo’s walk of shame(lessness) on his monitoring system.

Wait.

Personal quarters? This is where he took her?!

Stormtroopers were scared enough, so Kira was glad she could hide her wide smile behind the cowl.

Kylo Ren was kind of a flirt.

* * *

_the most romantic interrogation chamber ever, Starkiller Base_

If Kylo has brushed his hair before the Girl woke up, it was his business and his only.

* * *

afterlife with the Skywalkers, somewhere far away from Obi-Wan Kenobi

It was hard to say how much time has passed since she came back with Shmi – how do you keep track of it in the afterlife? – but at some point, in the middle of Padme’s sentence, Ani has interrupted her with his hand in the air. There was a strange glow in his eyes and for a moment she remembered madness that took him over on Mustafar.

She took a deep breath before trying to continue, but Anakin hushed her.

\- Did you feel it? Somewhere, a Skywalker is falling in star-crossed love!

\- Wha..? – she didn’t even finish. Her husband just disappeared, like always when he tried to enter the world of living as a Force Ghost.

\- All these dramatics... must be a Jedi thing. Anakin was such a sweet boy... – Shmi came her little boy to the rescue, as always.

They had no time to argue on the source of Skywalker family signature attribute, because as abruptly as he left them, Ani came back, looking smug. Padme resisted for a whole two minutes, before asking:

\- So? Was it Ben? Is he okay?

\- I thought you said he has already found a companion? – demanded Shmi at the same time.

\- If Ben is not okay, then I’m sure he soon will be. This girl is something else, I tell you... She will set him straight about joining the Dark Side and refusing to speak to his concerned family!

\- I thought you were team Ben against team Leia? – now Padme was lost.

\- By family i mean me!

Once he’s calmed down, Anakin gladly told them everything he overheard through one ugly, melted helmet.

\- But what about that Sith woman? – Shmi was not a fan of Jedi after all they did to her son and then grand-grandson.They ignored that question, only to later wish they didn’t.

* * *

If you told her once she would be tracking Finn, her first friend, through a nanochip she slipped into his ration during Matt-inspired undercover mission on Finalizer, well...

Rey of Jakku wouldn’t believe.

But Kira Ren did it. And that’s how she knew Finn (and probably Han and Chewie) left the fleet around Hosnian Prime (you’re welcome, Leia) and moved too fast to be in anything other than the hyperspace.

She was going once again throughout the plan with Phasma (”Yes, Phas, you need to let them take you captive. No, you can’t shoot the traitor. You’ll see, everything will be fine.”) when she felt it.

Maybe before her recently acquired hypersensitivity she wouldn’t notice a brief, delicate tug at the bond. That mere ghost of once powerful dyad now seemed even weaker. It was like their connection was a liquid, and it started to... leak. Slowly, yet relentlessly.

With each second, Ben seemed to be further and further.

She panicked at first, like a child.

Is that it? Am I dying now? The Force realised there is someone that doesn’t belong here after all?

But then it came to her.

The interrogation!

Rey must have finally woken up and the unorthodox love story began with a bit of mutual mental torture. She was exaggerating, of course, but a bit of dark humour was all she had left. That was it. The moment when she starts to lose Ben.

She has seen that coming, she thought she’d accepted its inevitability, and yet it still hurt that after all that has happened: their fights, their bond, Ben’s death and travelling in time to get him back...

She couldn’t keep him.

Even the impossible way the Force was getting stronger inside Kira didn’t matter anymore.

With each breath, their bond was weakening.

Where once nor Snoke, nor Emperor nor Death could tear them apart, Kylo was now being slowly taken away from her by... Rey.

Luckily, Phasma didn’t let her sulk for long and kept asking about Plan B. Kira tried to relax, but she started to have a bad feeling about all of this.

It didn’t take a lot of time for Snoke to finally summon her and Hux.

* * *

_ audience chamber, the only level of Starkiller Base high enough to contain Snoke’s stupid hologram _

He was in the middle of chaotic speech to convince Supreme Leader to let the girl (Rey, her name was Rey and wasn’t it perfect?) live after she shows him memory of the map, which she will as soon as he gets back to her, preferably with his helmet on (but his face seemed to distract her rather nicely at first), when that asshole Hux and poor Kira came in.

Or maybe not so poor – she seemed different somehow in Force, stronger and healthier than ever. Her golden eyes smiled at Kylo when she circled Hux to stand between them. It was wrong to think like that about an instrument of the Dark, but in that moment she felt bright like a sun.

Now that he had time to consider it, he realised Kira was very nice to him when he arrived with Rey (and the rest of the Finalizer) at the Base. She was actually acting like she used to, before all these fights and cold looks and no hugging.

Some strange sort of guilt seized his heart when she seemed to take in his flushed cheeks, recently brushed hair (volume was the key) and dishevelled scarf.

He didn’t forget about Kira just because he found someone interesting! The First Order’s greatest medical unit was here, and as soon as he’s done with Rey, he will drag Kira kicking and screaming to the best diagnostic droids in the galaxy and make them figure out what’s wrong with his friend. He looked at Hux over her head – why didn’t the General take her there as soon as they landed? Both men exchanged glares under Snoke’s pleased stare.

Hux hissed something sarcastic about abducting young women all over the systems and torturing them, which almost made Kylo answer with something clever only to shut up at Kira’s disappointed look.

\- And there I thought I explained to you how to treat a lady! – she muttered and wagged her finger at Kylo playfully.

But then Snoke started yelling at all three of them, something about Hosnian Prime (after a moment, Kylo was pleased to deduct that said planet was not, in fact, destroyed during the recent explosion. He still worried about the one which wasn’t as lucky) and Skywalker, Resistance, and then about irresponsible children placed in charge of things.

(Hux looked hurt, as if he was older than Kylo more than his three years.)

He finally told Kylo he expected results soon and waved him off, before once again hovering over Kira and Hux to continue his tirade.

Kylo was glad to leave and go back to Rey. He will have to fix his hair before she sees him again. His reflection, courtesy of the mirror wall, looked wretched.

Leaving the audience chamber, he turned last time to see Kira on her knees and a flash of electricity.

It seemed that the first launch of Starkiller wasn’t as successful as it should have been.

Before the door closed he could hear Hux complaining on the nosebleeds of all things.

* * *

Force Lightning wasn’t exactly part of her plan. Kira carefully avoided memories from Exegol, so she almost forgot how much it could hurt.

And it did a lot, even later when she shadowed Kylo’s every move on Starkiller, officially to help him find a missing girl and the intruders.

It’s just stupid, physical pain. You had worse, you survived worse, focus. As always, concentrating on the pain as much as she could, has helped numb it. And recently it let her use the Dark Side more effectively.

He really showed me the ways of the Force, she thought fondly and fought a stupid giggle. It would be inappropriate. They were on the hunt!

Kylo suddenly froze in place – did he hear her? – but then continued stomping.

__

_ (- Maybe he’s here to take you home? – Kira said earlier with a forced laugh, despite that tiny crazy voice in her head that kept screaming: Go home with him, Ben! Save yourself! It was not the time, she had to make sure everything that led to Snoke’s death was just the way it happened before, there could be no mistakes. She resolutely ignored the fact that indeed, there was already ONE thing that wasn’t there the first time. _

_ Kylo, of course, immediately went defensive, babbling about how Supreme Leader was „wise” and how „these people” were „nothing to him”... But the longer he talked, the clearer she heard this longing in his voice. Feather-light mental contact, much harder to make after their connection has started fading, revealed what he tried to hide so desperately from both her and Snoke: _

_ Kylo Ren was afraid. _

**_So afraid to leave..._ **

_ Kira realised that the First Order’s grip on Ben was as strong as Jakku’s grip on her, once upon a time. She wondered, if not for Han’s death, would Ben still be trapped in Snoke’s snare? She shivered at the mere thought.) _

Kylo turned to the familiarly looking bridge. She dutifully followed, and almost tripped him in her eagerness, forcing Kylo to speed up.

Yes, that’s right, let’s leave this level and never come back...

But then, in a hoarse voice, Han Solo called Ben from the other side and made him stop.

Kira's heart raced. She should have known: she couldn’t save Ben from everything.

Even if she tried.

She took a few steps into the end of the bridge and let the shadows hide her.

Kira ignored Rey and Finn watching from above, two girls that were one both transfixed on the beautiful dark man, but each for different reasons. Or perhaps the same one?

Maybe he won’t do it. Maybe this time...

Blade of the crossguard saber has bathed father and son in red glow.

...or maybe not.

Han touched Ben’s cheek tenderly.

_ This is a parent's love _ , Kira thought wistfully. (Rey was too shocked to pay attention). Forgiveness.

Kylo pushed his father away into the void.

Just like that, the quiet moment was over. 

After getting shot by Chewie and seeing his lost interrogatee in company of a traitor, Kylo seemed to have lost it.

Kira thanked the Maker she had her Plan B already in motion.

\- Go after them, I’ll take care of Wookie! – she yelled when Kylo turned to seek her advice. He took off, hitting the wound in his shoulder and she ran as if someone's life depended on it.

It did.

* * *

Somehow, he lost Rey. Or Rey lost him?

Finn didn’t sign up for crazy Dark Lord hunting them through the forest like in some folk tale. He has never spent so much time on the surface of the Base without the suit. It was freezing. He had no idea where he was and how he was supposed to find others or the ship.

\- REY?! – he yelled and looked around. – REEEEY?!

Nothing but trees and snow everywhere. Kriff.

He thought he heard a buzz of a lightsaber. He ran in some random direction, praying to the Force to let him find his friend before it’s too late.

He has never noticed a weird, handsome man with sandy hair, radiating an otherworldly light, who gently summoned weapon clipped to Finn's belt and then placed a stolen (or not really) silver saber in the snow.

I have the best afterlife ever, thought Anakin Skywalker carefreely, hiding behind a tree.

* * *

* * *

__

_ in the middle of serious evacuation from the Starkiller, various ships of First Order’s fleet _

Nothing, not even  _ Millenium Falcon _ , has travelled faster in the galaxy than stormtroopers’ gossip mill.

That was why while Kylo, Rey, Finn and finally Kira were all running through the snowed forest in some twisted version of hide-and-seek, the whole army of the First Order during their... tactical retreat... tried to figure out the most important matter of the day.

**Who the kriff was Kylo Ren dating?**

Before the attack on Takodana, the whole First Order, minus Snoke – but only since he was blissfully oblivious to his student’s love life, and hopefully, for the sake of galaxy, it will stay that way until the end – was more or less certain that Kylo Ren is faithfully in love with his wife, Kira.

Multiple hearts of deep-down-romantic troopers were broken since ‘Takodana Affair’, as it was later called by devoted shippers of Mr and Mrs Ren.

Finalizer’s crew has confirmed to others so far: sparing life, intense (how did they know it was intense? didn’t Lord Ren wear a helmet???) up and down looking, dramatic swooning, bride-carrying, private interrogation that left no blood or fluids, surveillance errors most likely due to lightsaber smashes and finally, super-intense, helmetless staring and jealous yells at girl (codename: Scavenger) and young man who accompanied her (and, the final blow, who turned out to be one and only FN-2187!).

After their initial shock, people were mostly outraged. Trooper NT1-B3N led those convinced that it was all Kylo Ren’s fault, that he was the unfaithful villain of the story: not only he betrayed his partner, but also corrupted a young, innocent citizen. His colleague from the NT1 squad, NT1-R3Y gathered the opposite faction – troopers who just knew it was all Scavenger's fault. Being part of the so-called Resistance was apparently not enough, that nobody from nowhere just had to destroy the First Order’s beloved couple! Ever since Kira’s introduction, the Rens quickly became the trooper's absolutely favorite gossip, outranking even the terrifying duet of Hux and Phasma. As usual, even that little conflict had the third side, those reasonable stormtroopers and officers who either didn’t care that much... or those who claimed that everything could only be resolved with healthy, polyamorous relationship. They never listened to the argument of Rens and Scavenger representing opposite sides of war, and without a doubt, they were the happiest during the upcoming conflict inside the army.

On which side did our friends R3Y-L0 and R3Y-DR stand?

Let’s just say that... they will enjoy how this story officially ends.

* * *

* * *

Once she made sure Phasma had everything under control and that the Force-field and cryo had succeeded, Kira could rejoin the party. Of course, Kylo was long gone.

He ran after Rey and Finn. Walking through the forest, Kira tried to reach Kylo through the weakened bond when it hit her, overwhelming and calling her... Like an abyss.

She’d have to be dead not to feel it.

**KILL HIM!**

Kira barely noticed she took out her weapon and turned it on. Bright yellow looked truly menacing.

The urge to hunt him down was taking over, making Dark rise inside her. Kira’s saber sang a siren’s song... She was moving already when the moment of clarity came.

_ What the kriff am I doing? _

Ben Solo wasn’t her enemy, not in a long time (he never really was) and suddenly Kira understood where the voice came from.

It was his own self-hatred that he felt right when he killed his father, radiating in all directions through the Force, working up Finn somewhere in the forest and reaching both Kira and her past self through the dyad. Maybe her past, inexperienced self fell for it, but Kira wouldn’t let anything She shook off that feeling and let the Force guide her.

She ran to save Ben.

* * *

She has never felt as powerful as here and now. Kylo Ren, unfamous legend of the First Order, was trembling underneath her. 

**KILL HIM!**

Yes, she will kill him now. He dared to capture her, to tear into her mind, he killed Han and hunted her down like an animal, he dared to offer teaching her how to deal with this new, terrifying thing inside of her...

He looked at Rey without a trace of fear, her mark bleeding all over his face, those delicate mouth open in gasp...

(Delicate? Since when did she notice such things?)

She had to choose...

But before she had a chance, ground between them broke in two and separated Rey and Kylo for good.

It had to be her imagination, but she thought she saw literal hearts in his eyes. And then there was a heart made of trees. And then the newly made cliff near him looked like a heart as well.

Hearts were everywhere!

_ (My job here is done,  _ whispered Anakin to himself _. Good luck, Ben.) _

Rey shook her head, looked at Kylo for the last time (he still stared at her) and ran away.

She had to find Finn! Thank Maker Kylo Ren hadn’t had a chance to hurt him.

But she didn't make it far (she couldn't see  **him** anymore) before she stopped. A sudden headache, cloud of darkness behind her eyes, invisible hands around her neck.

She choked... And the feeling disappeared.

Rey heard her stomping through the snow before she saw her.

Woman was dressed in all black, just like Kylo. The only blur of colour was purple cowl, currently unwrapped and hanging from her shoulders. She had long, dark hair and a sickly pale face covered with some war paint. There was something weirdly familiar about her, but Rey couldn’t grasp it. She recognised her from Finn’s tale only thanks to those glowing yellow eyes of a predator.

Kira Ren.

The only thing worse than Kylo, as Finn said.

\- Where is he? What have you done? – Kira hissed and tried to fix her cover.

Rey only clutched the saber in her hand and turned it on, keeping her eyes on a cylindrical shape pinned to the woman's belt above all these fancy robes. Kira ignored her as if Rey was a harmless puppy. She muttered, seemingly to herself:

\- Of course I had to end up on the wrong side. So much for the Force guiding me! – she sighed. Then, as if noticing Rey again, she told her icily – If you killed him, you’re dead. I’d find you, no matter the consequences. I wouldn’t care anymore.

With a final glare, she ran in the growing abyss behind Rey and right before the edge...

She jumped.

Involuntarily, Rey gasped in awe. It was something she always loved about Jedi in old tales – those impossible jumps, practically flying without a ship. Once Kira vanished from her sight, Rey felt like she could move again. She ran until the lights of the Millenium Falcon found her and Finn’s voice hurried her aboard.

* * *

**He must have fainted but now he is back and his face burns.**

**Then someone touches him, helps him up a little and wraps an arm around him to finally guide his head to a nice, steady surface covered with soft robes.**

**Small, fast, blissfully cold hands reached him.**

**It must be her, the scavenger, no – Rey, and she is touching him, holding his hand?, combing fingers through his hair and calling him Ben. He can’t have dreams like that, he knows, he shouldn’t, but right now it feels like the only thing he would ever want to dream about.**

**He thinks she sounds like Kira when she smooths his hair and whispers:**

**– Ben, my Ben, what have I done to you?**

**But Kira wouldn’t call him Ben, right?**

**It seems like the only logic explanation, it must be Rey, maybe a bit blurry. Her hair is freed from the three tight buns, and tickling Ben and he wants to bury his fingers in them. She hums something, something sweet and familiar and then he’s passed out, like a baby.**

* * *

Kira has overestimated herself (again) and could only hold Ben close with his head resting on her lap.

It would feel much nicer without all that blood, snow and the weapon planet falling apart!

Surely, the timeline hasn’t changed enough for them to die here, right?

Luckily, Hux found them soon enough. She wouldn’t let go of Ben’s hand as the troopers brought them aboard the shuttle. She didn’t like seeing him unconscious and vulnerable in front of others.

Finally, they have reached the safe distance from what was left of the Starkiller (sadness pricked at her, but she’d rather mourn technological masterpiece than Ben) their could land inside the Finalizer’s hangar and bring Ben to the decent medical unit that luckily has been recently summoned from the other system.

Kira hissed like an animal when Hux tried to make her let the med droids get to Ben. It took a while, but finally she moved away and looked wistfully over General’s head as the smell of fresh bacta filled the medbay.

Hux kept talking, but she didn’t listen. There will be time to discuss everything that has happened once she gets to talk to Phasma, cleans memory of Captain’s squad and then visits her... guest. It may have taken a toll on her and weakened her during quite a stressful time, but she didn’t regret what she has done. There was only Snoke to get rid of, and then everything will be alright. 

New journey began - they were summoned to the Supremacy, according to what she had just heard from Hux, so Kira’s work was much closer to the end.

For a while she could only sit there, look at the droids moving around Ben with cold precision of machines, and try to find his signature in the Force around them. He was here, he was safe and he will never have to be alone.

Kira allowed Ben’s bright Life Force lull her into her first peaceful sleep in a long, long time.

She dreamt of the ocean. There was an  **island, free of sin** ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, i know. Rey meeting Kira was not satisfying at all, but you have probably noticed by now my dialogue skills are non-existent.
> 
> Still, let me know what you think of... probably the longest chapter of them all.
> 
> //fun fact: kylo's part at the end was the first thing i've written for whoesoe in his pov. originally, it was supposed to be only kira's story.// 
> 
> and, wait! my shameless self-promotion:
> 
> Check out [short and (hopefully) funny expalantion of what happened to ben after tros in a bit different from whoesoe AU](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26067409/chapters/63398377)


	16. Can you hear my corruption?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it’s time for some other droid to shine.  
> proceed with caution: confused man awaken then hushed by the circumstances  
> (we wouldn’t want any wild dialogues, now would we?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At first that chapter was supposed to cover more... ekhem... plot? But i kinda thought we need a calm one, before Snoke's swan song(s) (read: briefly interrupting reylo love life), so here we are. 
> 
> Thank you for the comments!
> 
> Enjoy! (that sweet, peaceful filler chapter without me trying to figure out their love drama)  
> and forgive me all mistakes, i'm rereading it tomorrow, as always.

* * *

_ That stubborn red string. _

_ She has to catch it and then she will tie it to her finger. _

_ But there it is, flowing in the air, barely out of her reach. She walks through forest and desert, through snowy plains and deep water, following that kriffing ribbon. It just won’t let her get it. _

_ Kira knows that once she captures it, everything will be as it should be. Scarlet string teases her fingers, and finally, finally, she... _

...woke up, frustrated and scowling. What a stupid dream.

Luckily, only a dream – Kira didn’t need any red ribbons for her plot to succeed. She yawned and then smiled. Such a beautiful day – sun was shining, waves were soothing her headache, porgs were chirping outside and sweet, fresh air somehow got inside the hut...

Kira abruptly stood from the chair next to sleeping Kylo, where she spent her night. As much as there can be a night aboard the flagship of First Order. Woman stretched, checked up on the patient – first by looking at the surrounding devices that told her nothing, and then through the Force. Kylo was stable (as much as he could be), his head and torso were almost completely covered with bacta (shame) and his trousers turned out to be that horrid high-waisted type (how exactly does he plan to sway her past self to his side?). As for his signature in Force, he was a total mess. To be expected from someone who has just met his father after years of nothing, decided to kill him, got shot by another family member and then was beaten in a duel by an equivalent of newborn in Force-sensitivity (at least in his Master’s eyes).

Kira rubbed her eyes. Despite everything, she felt weirdly strong, like she had a lot of time to rest in a comfortable bed. And food. Oh.

Plotting the coup later, first – food.

But it wasn’t just murder that she has included in her plan, she was painfully reminded as comm from Phsama almost deafened her. After Captain has dutifully reported everything Kira had to take care of, food was forgotten. There will be transfer to the Supremacy in a few more hours, and there was someone in the medical unit who needed her help more than Kylo.

As she followed jet-black astromech of BB-series, sent to Hux from Supremacy and now to her from Hux, and pretended to listen to its (somewhat smug) binary, Kira briefly recalled the weird sensation from before.

It was so... vivid. As if she really was somewhere near water, somewhere occupied by...porgs. Only one place and one person to cause it came to her mind. Perhaps she has some connection with her past self...

By now Rey was for sure already on the Ahch-To.

That must have been it.

* * *

It was only a few hours since Chewie, Finn and Rey came back from Starkiller Base, and now they had to leave. General Leia Organa came to the hangar to send them off personally.

The map was restored, the way to her brother as available as ever.

But it cost them Han.

There was no way she could leave Hosnian Prime now and meet with Luke. She had to keep up the fragile facade, for the good of her people. She'd always thought she would feel if anything happened to him  or their boy . Perhaps turning away from the Force made her less sensitive, because all that Leia felt that terrible day was cold. Maybe this was how an adult coped with loss, since it was nothing like her parents death and destruction of Alderaan.

She had a war to win, people to lead and take care of, and brother to get back.

Leia had to be strong, and strong she will be.

Chewie was already in the cockpit, Finn was talking animatedly with dear Poe and Rey... Rey was looking at them with a small smile, until Leia approached her with Luke’s saber in hand. Then that smile vanished.

\- I know it has chosen you – Leia said softly. – And I know you can do many exceptional things with its help. Who knows, maybe this saber could lure Luke back to us? – she joked, but the girl remained serious. She even took a step back when Leia tried to give her the weapon.

\- That’s not a good idea. I hurt someone with it. It’s dangerous.

Leia said nothing, just looked pointedly at the staff strapped to Rey’s back.

\- My staff? It’s nothing, just a weapon from Jakku. Never made me want to kill someone.

\- Oh, Rey...

She noticed how the girl carefully avoided calling Ben anything other than ‘someone’ now or ‘him’ in her earlier report. Rey was quite tight-lipped; it seemed that in the short time she knew Han, she bonded with him and was still numbed by what happened on Starkiller.

Still, Leia couldn’t help but like the little scavenger.

Rey felt strong in Force, and from what Chewie told her, she was a really nice girl.

Eh, in another world... In another time... If only Ben never left them, she would finally play the matchmaker. Things escalated quickly, at least in her head, and soon Leia’s mind was filled with visions of beautiful grandchildren with freckles and adorable ears.

With a sigh, she came back to the reality and decided to let it go, at least for now. She hugged Rey goodbye (the girl froze), called Finn over and asked him to take care of the legacy saber. She didn’t feel guilty that he wasn’t her first choice, and he didn’t seem to mind either. Ben was always the most talented when it came to saber fight, Luke said. Yes, their boy was on top of the class and if Rey managed to overpower him, even for a moment, and without any training? It meant she was certainly worthy of Luke’s saber. Rey may not see it now, but she will come around eventually.

Leia felt satisfied. She was sending two Force-sensitive children to her brother, just like once upon a time. Luke would have to come back now, and with him she could defeat Snoke and avenge her family.

According to their secret correspondent (read: spy), the First Order was close to obtaining the technology of hyperspace tracking. It was almost unbelievable, but so far everything sent by that mystery person turned out to be true, and helped the Resistance greatly.

For now, the Resistance will have to lay low and remain on the Hosnian Prime, with the fleet securing the system.

She stared at the Falcon’s departure with longing.

May the Force be with them.

* * *

May the Force be with her!

Kira would only admit to herself that she was a bit nervous about it.

She had to be fast, but if there was any strict Light ability she’s trained in the last 6 years, it’s Force Healing. Maybe her only assistant was a security droid from Snoke’s nest, but according to Hux, BB-9E had also been in charge of the very machinery she was using now.

(Kira still wasn’t sure why exactly Huxie called for Supremacy’s medical unit to be sent to Starkiller. Did he somehow predict those outcomes of her plan she decided not to share?)

BB-9E proceeded with waking Solo Senior after the cryogenic capsule was detached and opened, the droid commanding medical ones with furious whistles and beeps that reminded her of Phasma, while Kira focused deeply on drawing from the Cosmic Force...

(She couldn’t believe she drew from herself and not the Endor back on the ruined Death Star. No wonder why Ben died after such a huge transfer when he had no one to teach him better but her inexperienced self.)

... and in no time, the hole in Han’s chest was healed.

Just like that. Kira may have had no practice with Force-healing humans after Ben, but Han’s wound was a cleaner twin of the dreadful, future one of his son.

Ah, wait. She has only focused on the worst, but there were some still bruises and, uh, something with bones. She forgot how fragile old people could be.

Kira scowled.

Force-field was her best idea, but perhaps it wasn’t the safest and most comfortable for the saved one. She continued healing her almost-father-in-law, and let her mind wander...

She got almost teary-eyed when she realised that not only she will keep Ben alive, but also his family – without Crait, the twins obviously aren’t going anywhere soon. She may have had her grudge with them both and many issues with her own blood relatives – none worthy to be called a family - but that didn’t mean Ben can’t have people to come back to.

(She decided not to think about Rey at this moment. It was hers, Kira’s, small triumph only.)

He will be happy, she realised. Not just alive – he will  **live** . Reunite with family, fall in love (even if judging by his memorable dumbstruck expression on Starkiller, he already was), maybe get married and start his own family... He will travel the galaxy, fly ships, study all the holocrons he wants...

She would never, ever, admit such a sappy thing aloud, but for this chance that she got, Kira gladly has put his happiness above her own desires.

That was the right way. 

BB-9E’s nervous beeping have interrupted her lengthy inner monologue.

Thin coat of ice was melting and Han was waking up. Kira tried to ignore him, but in the heat of the moment she took off her cowl, and that’s how...

\- Rey? Kid, that’s you?

...he recognised her.

Nobody called her that name in a long time. And apparently, five years weren’t enough to distance her from Rey of Jakku.

She glared.

Han ignored her merrily, trying to sit up and mostly failing.

\- Eh, last time I saw, you had none of this fancy emo make-up.

What was wrong with the Solo family? Wasn’t he almost killed by his own son yesterday?! Kira has always thought that Skywalkers were to blame for some of Ben’s... irrational behaviour, but it seemed there was more to all these ‘’his father’s son” comments of Leia and Maz than she realised.

And nothing was wrong with her make-up.

\- B-ben. – he murmured. – Where is...

Quick look at BB-9E’s report on Solo that has brought her attention to the datapad made Kira purse her lips in disapproval and wave her hand in man’s direction. He gently fell back on his bed, asleep.

_ That trick is always useful. All thanks to you, Ben. _

Han was in no shape to ask questions now. As not-Force-sensitive, his recovery from the dangerous wound healed with the Cosmic Force would take at least a few hours. She had time to consider what she could tell him... If she decided to let him keep the memory of her face, that is.

* * *

She finally left Han in not-so-tender-care of BB-9E and loyal troopers behind his door. He will be okay – it turned out that Kylo really didn’t do his best while killing his dad. What truly must have killed Han Solo in her first timeline must have been a long fall and no Sith Lady coming to the rescue. Perhaps, she wondered, walking to Kylo’s ward, if the Resistance didn’t blow up the Starkiller...

But if they didn’t, Han would never be there to meet Ben and then...

No! These were idle thoughts. She’s already created too many aberrations in time as Kira to think about the timeline that she had left behind. She just needed some rest. She entered the room, glared at the furiously beeping medical droids, and summoned a chair to sit at unconscious Ben’s side and guard his recovery.

Once he awakes, once the  _ Finalizer  _ with the medical unit attached joins the Supremacy, nothing will be predictable anymore. She had to make sure some things won’t change and Snoke will die when he’s meant to, and not a day too late. Even if she had to keep Kylo oblivious, for his own sake, Kira knew it was right.

Her eyes traced the thick line of bacta, covering his beautiful face, hiding scar tissue underneath. Her past self did it to him, and Kira still could not get any revenge. She let go of Rey in the forest, just like she will have to let go of Ben soon.

Selfishness inside her cried out, Darkness tried to convince her she can still have him.

Balancing both Sides of the Force became easier recently, but they still could be seductive.

For Ben, she will resist. For Ben, she will make things right.

Before she had a chance to close her eyes, comm from Hux demanded her attention. As she listened to his grumbling about the Resistance, Kira rolled her eyes. His whining better not wake Kylo.

Despite the thought, some strange fondness settled inside her. 

Kira's never expected people other than her and Ben being part of this, and yet...

She might be lonely, but she wasn’t alone. She had allies, she had a purpose, and most importantly: she had a plan that could not fail.

The final act of Kira’s journey began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as you can see, Resistance won't interrupt Kira's mysterious plans. I'll keep them all on Hosnian Prime, off-screen. Couldn't write them anyway.
> 
> What will Rey do without such useful distraction when the time comes?  
> (Don't worry, there are at least two chapters of longing and denial before you'll know the answer.)


	17. And I will follow you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are some things you just can’t tell your girl-friend. Friend, who is also a girl. Female co-worker? It’s complicated. Ugh!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RL is not writing-friendly, but what's new? 
> 
> I'm not... happy with this chapter, and neither is my cat. 
> 
> (chapter title seems ironic since i'm all: ''bye hyperspace-tracking-arc, you're not meant for whoesoe''. sorry, Huxie). 
> 
> Again, it's has two longer scenes that were written some time ago, and i only hope they will fit nicely with the rest.
> 
> Thank you for the comments and any other interest towards my little fic. 
> 
> it's so late (as always) so sorry for the typos. just so you know, Kylo almost had a 'breeding mood' <\- i'm tempted to add it to the tags. 
> 
> (btw, do you suggest any tags there are missing and would help future readers decide if it's a thing for them?)

* * *

_ Sometimes he dreams about killing Luke. Unlike all those previous dreams, where it has always been his bleeding red crossguard, this time his Uncle is bisected by an azure blade. _

__

When Kylo has finally regained consciousness, half of the  _ Finalizer _ and - of course - the medical unit, was in the middle of a transfer to the  _ Supremacy _ . Kira was much more needed somewhere else, like making sure Hux doesn’t mess up or that their personal belongings are being carefully moved, but instead she was right there, snoring softly. That unfortunate cowl was covering most of her head and face, with only one lucky curl of dark hair escaping.

He has never seen her so calm, so peaceful. If not for black clothes, he could mistake her for one of Luke’s baby Jedi, and not high-ranked Sith. Her eyelids, for once devoid of any paint, fluttered, and shapely nose crinkled adorably for a parsec. Whoever she dreamt about, she was not agreeing with them.

Kylo didn’t know why, of all things it was nose scrunch that triggered something in his memory, something exciting, something right on the tip of his tongue... Something painfully and sweetly familiar.

But then Kira woke up and immediately started hovering over him, touching his (Ow!) face, patting his arms and asking questions. So Kylo shrugged off that feeling – he knew Kira for some time already, of course he knew her twitches and tics. When he tried to convince her he could walk on his own, he has already half forgotten his earlier musings.

If he didn’t focus and fight her, that kriffing woman would no doubt bridal carry him under Snoke’s nose and in front of the entire army! When he idiotically said that out loud, Kira’s eyes lightened up dangerously.

It must have been that Solo luck that helped him escape.

* * *

Luckily, Han Solo wasn’t one of them, otherwise Ben would probably sense him.

Even after he left the medbay, she felt his signature, spreading around, searching for something. If he caught her now... If Snoke caught her...

She couldn’t believe she fell asleep while the fleet was on the move and Kylo was vulnerable. It must have been the healing, she reasoned poorly. Kylo would be busy now (for example: with finding something to cover himself) and she could get back to Han.

If the old man wasn’t napping, of course.

But no – Han Solo put her to shame, already on his feet, circling the small space he was given, looking quite sober. Her only warning came from the Force and allowed her to react in time and stop Han from poking her eye with some sharp-edged part of a medical droid.

\- Now where did this come from? – she asked at the same time Han cried out:

\- Who the kriff are you and what do you want?!

Kira really couldn’t stop herself.

\- You’re my guest – she said, deadpan. Han’s face was priceless. – I mean it, actually. My name – she revealed a saber clipped to her belt with a dramatic wave of her robes that would put Ben to shame – is Kira Ren – she loved the sound of that name. - And I’m...

\- Ben’s secret wife? – interrupted Han.

\- Kylo’s  _ associate _ – she glared. – Officially, we’re working together under the command of the Supreme Leader. But unofficially...

\- You’re planning a coup and decided for Ben to become some figurehead that you will rule the galaxy through – he guessed, nodding seriously.

Han still wore his clothes that screamed „Smuggler!”, she noticed and typed a quick message to Phasma when a quite brilliant idea came to her mind, all that while correcting Han’s paranoidal (but perhaps in another life correct) thought.

\- No! Will you let me speak? I’m trying to free Ben from Snoke. – she didn’t even notice which name she used, but Han did, and looked at her as if he tried to see inside her mind.

\- So it’s  _ Ben _ , huh? – he finally broke into a somewhat hesitant, lopsided grin. It made her heart clench unexpectedly. She didn’t really spend that much time with Solo Senior, but still she was glad she had a chance to save him, not just for Ben’s sake. – Always knew he had it in him... – he murmured.

\- Are you related to Rey by any chance? – he asked suddenly, as if he’s finally noticed something.

\- From a certain point of view... – Kira sighed.

She thought she was in the position of power, but it was Han who kept gently interrogating her and making Kira almost regret her soft-for-Solos heart before one of FN- troopers knocked on the medbay’s door and saved her.

She grinned under the cowl and quickly picked up the package they had for her. She placed it in front of suspicious Han and gestured towards it.

\- Don’t worry. It’s just a welcome gift from Phas.

\- Captain Conserve? – he said, bewildered, but peeked inside the box before jumping away. – No, no way I’m wearing this thing ever again.

Kira shrugged innocently. – We have to hide you somehow from Ben and Snoke, and who would look twice at the stormtrooper?

* * *

Han just couldn’t believe it was happening again.

* * *

It took some time for them to settle on the Supremacy, choose new clothes, look for officers to terrify, but finally Kylo and Kira were summoned to face their Master.

Entering the throne room before the Supreme Leader had a chance to take his anger out on someone else turned out to be one of Kylo’s unfamous not-so-bright ideas. And all of that in front of those assholes from the Praetorian Guard.

(he really really hated them)

\- YOU ARE NO VADER! YOU’RE JUST A CHILD IN A MASK...Take it off! – hearing pure disgust in Snoke’s voice, Kylo gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. Pain helped him balance himself, but not for long: Kira, who stood at their Master’s side, had as always something to say:

\- But Master, you don’t know what you’re talking about! I like the mask. It makes him look  _ sexy  _ – she shrugged, eyes glinting with mischief, but a voice perfectly innocent.

Kylo considered screaming like a little girl and throwing his signature helmet away but then he took it off, revealing a horrified expression. Thank Grandvader that he styled his hair to cover his ears completely these days. (Maybe because of that vivid nightmare with  Rey the Scavenger making fun of them, or maybe he just liked this new look better. Or both.)

Snoke growled.

\- YOU’RE FORGETTING YOU PLACE, DARTH VROUW – oh, Kylo did not like her Sith name at all, especially not yelled by the old man. – Let me handle my apprentice. Make yourself useful and help General Hux... – and now he was not only sending Kira away, but to Hux of all people! Darkness stirred inside Kylo’s mind, that sweet part of it that was free from Snoke, that was his own.

Kira said nothing as she bowed shortly before exiting the throne room. Kylo noticed with pride how dramatically her robes flow and how his friend expressed all her fury in the way she walked.

Kylo was such a good teacher!

(Oh, if only Rey would let him...)

Snoke seemed to catch all of his soft – soft? No, Kylo Ren was NOT soft – feelings towards Kira. Those carefully guarded ones. So far he did a pretty good job at pretending before his Master that Sith Lady was just like Hux: annoying obstacle, potential rival. Snoke may have suspected something – he did threaten Kira already to get his hunt for Skywalker in motion again after all, but now, in one moment of weakness, all his hard work was wasted, and he could have stood here naked, that’s how he felt. Well, maybe not completely exposed, as his conflict about Rey remained hidden, but Kylo still began to panic.

Despite the obvious storm of feelings raging in his apprentice – or maybe because of that - Supreme Leader seemed  _ pleased _ .

Ah, there it is, an opportunity to test young Solo once again...

There were just the two of them when Snoke told him:

\- You will kill her. When the time is right, of course. We have yet to use lady Kira against the Skywalker, but once it’s done... I will become the undoing of Kira Ren. This shall be your final trial, my boy – he added, feeling Kylo’s uncertainty. – After her death you will be proved truly dark. UNLESS YOU’LL FAIL WITH HER LIKE YOU HAVE FAILED WITH HAN SOLO!

His father’s name was the last straw, and it was as if his voice has joined Kira’s in rebellious thoughts swimming around Ben’s mind, separating him from Snoke.  Ben Kylo bowed his head again, still kneeling, but with a silent determination building up slowly in him.

(Anakin sniffed, beaming with pride from the afterlife. There was no doubt now, Ben was his favorite. If only they could talk without that old geezer.)

He will kill Snoke.

_ When the time is right, of course. _

* * *

In another life, in another time, in a bit different world, the First Order’s fleet was chasing the last ships of the Resistance, plotting their destruction and having a great time.

Rey and Chewie were stalking one Luke Skywalker in that world.

Here, however, the Resistance hasn’t moved from their sanctuary of Hosnian Prime and the whole First Order could only lick their post-Starkiller wounds and wait for something to finally happen. The transfer was done, the  _ Finalizer _ has left the  _ Supremacy,  _ Dopheld Mitaka was further from the Rens with each parsec, the troopers were training, Phasma was playing with Millicent, Hux was nearby, furiously working on some kind of tracking...

And the crew of Millenium Falcon was just discovering that Luke wasn’t on the Ahch-To alone.

* * *

One of his brooding moods was coming.

Not even smashing his helmet against the wall of the turbolift has helped. Anger was building up in him, making Kylo wonder if it was perhaps a good time to check on his newest ship, maybe blow something up...

(Why did Mitaka stay on the  _ Finalizer _ ? Who has let him?!)

And then it was gone and he was left with the same thought that haunted him ever since he woke up after Starkiller.

It’s not like he could talk with Kira about  **THIS** !

This... thing... that made him feel like he was losing his mind. How did it come to this? Kylo Ren, heir to Dark Vader, beaten by a mere thought of...

The Girl.

He rolled the comm that he’d stolen from  _ Millenium Falcon _ on the Starkiller through his fingers.

Will they be able to track unconnected devices with the tower? How did it even work?

He never really cared about technology much – he knew what he had to know to fix a ship. Other than that, no matter if he was Ben or Kylo, he always was more of a... scholar? Ancient scrolls, holocrons, artifacts, books... These were his kind of thing.

Not “hacking communication systems”!

If he thought of that, it would be something Hux could do. But even if they had a common friend (it hurt to call the redhead Kira’s friend, but those were the facts) and recently started to actually get along, Hux was still blindly loyal to Snoke. Kylo couldn’t possibly trust him, could he?

Kylo sighted and asked himself something, like he did many many times as a child, teenager and then young adult. A question that has always led him to trouble.

What would Han Solo do? *** // AN: only much, much later i realised this is basically „What would Leia do” trend from tros novel, reversed. I have never been more proud of myself//**

He dulled his signature, just in case Supreme Leader checked up on him, and commed Tai.

Thank Grandvader, he responded at the seventh try.

\- Yeah?

\- I met someone – he dropped his guard immediately after hearing his friend’s voice.

Tai didn’t even hesitate or ask why Kylo was comming from some illegal device.

\- Well yeah, we all have met her, don’t you remember, Ben?

Stop calling me that, he thought desperately. It was already bad when it was just in his head!

\- No, not Kira!

\- Oh. – Tai paused. – Oh! I see the problem now, mate. This is not good. I heard the rumours, this girl...

\- What? I’m trying to pour my heart over there, nerf-herder, and you’re babbling about some rumors! – Kylo did punch the wall, and it was only a bit painful, but let him compose himself and continue in a much softer voice (or was that because of the subject?) – I met someone. A girl. On Takodana. And, ah...I chased her, she tried to kill me... I might have kidnapped her – Tai gasped. – But only a bit! And then interrogate her – Kylo’s voice got much, much more thinner – and she pushed back? And then she was inside me... Wait, what the kriff? Are you laughing? Why are you laughing, Tai? Tai?!

As patiently as he could, Kylo waited for his friend to stop fooling around and answer. Took him a while.

\- Just... Ben, you had a  _ girl inside of you?  _ That just sounds so bad, mate, what were you at?

\- SHE’S STRONG WITH THE FORCE! SHE THOUGHT OF HAN SOLO AS A FATHER FIGURE. SHE PUSHED BACK INSIDE MY HEAD, PULLED OUT MY DEEPEST FEARS, THROWN IT IN MY FACE, RUN AWAY WITH A TRAITOR, SUMMONED MY GRANDPA'S LIGHTSABER, KICKED MY ASS, AND SHE WAS MAGNIFICENT! – Kylo cried out. He has finally lost it.

Tai must have been stunned, because he got quiet, so Kylo added in a small voice – And she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I suspect an angel, actually.

*

After he talked with Tai (although his friend was much better at the morality discussions then dating advice) and calmed down just a tiny bit, Kylo was scheduled to have this ugly black thing removed from his face. He was sitting patiently and let the droids do their worst, wondering whether the scar on his face would make him look handsome.

There were those sketches in Kira’s journal that he has just remembered.

And then he was once again reminded who gave him that mark...

And the rest was history.

* * *

On the Ahch-To, man has abruptly stopped training in front of a small kohort of dubiously chirping porgs. Without any reason, he got a bad feeling about all of that...

* * *

She felt it, when the moment she was waiting for had finally happened, but only because she was focused on Kylo’s signature in a way Snoke couldn’t have been.

For Kira it felt like suddenly, Kylo was behind some thick veil she couldn’t get through. Nobody could, except for one person.

And it wasn’t  _ her _ anymore.

.

.

.

Later Kylo asked her, with eyes so big and innocent that she couldn’t help but compare Snoke’s deadliest soldier to sweet, little porg:

\- Kira... have you ever pined after someone so much that you started... hallucinating?

So she ignored any bitterness, hugged Ben briefly, then sat down with him and told him, while keeping things as vague as possible, everything he needed to know about Force bonds.

At least for now.

_ Sometimes she dreams about the throne. Unlike all those previous dreams, where there has always been only Rey sitting on it, this time she's not alone. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news is that i have already two last chapters 99% written... so i may be able to finish the main story before October. If only #18 would write itself ;)
> 
> and if you're wondering about force-bond scenes... "the rest was history". why change the prefection? 
> 
> *looks at the ending proudly* I can't believe that with one sentence i have managed to avoid lots of dialogue!


	18. Endlessly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *ah, Solo boys and their thing for disguises...*
> 
> the beginning of the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am absolutely terrified but also excited to share with you those final steps of Kira's journey.
> 
> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos.
> 
> Now, the last humorous lines and the serious emotional drama begins.
> 
> (Oh, and since last update was only 3 days ago (!!!) i hope you haven't missed it. If you did go read it and then come back. And if not, then I'm shutting up now.)
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

\- I just can’t stand it! The Resistance is hiding, like the cowardly rats they are, but am I allowed to do something? Prepare a shuttle, command the invasion on the Hosnian Prime?  **No!** I have to stay here, ‘’take a rest’’ after ‘’Starkiller Base fiasco’’ and do NOTHING AT ALL! – Father’s voice was getting louder and louder with each moment. If he didn’t control himself, he would greatly interrupt the Holy Nap.

The fluffiest and sweetest honorary member of the First Order let out an intimidating growl without opening her yellow-green eyes.

Blond-Fur-Warm-Smell’s hand immediately resumed petting her queen and empress.

\- See, you scared Millicent! – she hissed protectively at Father.

\- Yes, like something would scare my Royal Highness, my sweetie, my pumpkin... – his voice much more bearable, has got near before an assault took the form of a kiss placed between her ears.

She has been enduring such tortures before, and there was no chance of training her slaves better.

\- Don’t worry, Armie. I’m sure Kira will find you something weird to do soon. Enjoy the break while it lasts...

And now they were making even worse noises and she would not have it. Her humans’ time was not to be wasted when they were finally both here. She rolled on her back and mewed demandingly.

Father and his mate have parted and started their litany of ‘Oh’s and ‘Awww’s.

Ah, the things she had to survive every day!

One question remained without an answer: why would the Force connect Kylo and Rey?

**Like calls to like** , Kira said oh-so-mysteriously, after she told him about all kinds of Force-bonds and hinted somewhat at one she had shared with somebody – probably the Deceased Husband.

No, no, no – he would not distract himself with the thoughts of Kira’s husband. Kylo finally came to peace with the fact she would not be pressed to share anything about life before the First Order.

He could, reluctantly, respect it, and at the same time he found himself obsessively looking for clues about Rey. Where did she come from, did she have any family, what was her favorite color (oh, Ben, you’re hopeless!) how did she met the traitor and were they... together?

If only Kylo knew where to find her!

He stood, looking through the viewport grimly, until the familiar sound of vacuum made him turn away and focus on a girl who wasn’t there.

His lips were wet, and then his glove was wet too.

Did she finally see it? The ocean? Or was it just rain?

He could never, ever admit to anyone (other than Tai, who wouldn’t betray his secrets) how much time he has spent thinking about her. Kylo liked to pretend he didn’t need anyone (especially not his family), that he liked being alone and those few people he allowed to get closer happened to be there by accident.

His obsession with someone that month ago he didn’t even know has existed... It was embarrassing, unexpected, terrifying and thrilling.

And it seemed permanent.

(if only Dad could see him now)

Of course he was interested in Rey!

He even had a reasonable explanation.

She was the first Force-sensitive from the outside he has encountered in a long time. And nobody he’d ever met was as strong as she was. Kira was... peculiar, Tai was intelligent, other Knights were... mostly useful in combat and Snoke... Snoke was old, wise and powerful. But he lacked that raw, untamed kind of power that sang from Rey’s soul straight to Kylo’s. He wanted to talk to her, to teach her, to train with her, to be near her... he wanted  **her** ever since their minds collided.

(It was tale as old as time)

But Rey refused his offer. She was somewhere far away, with Skywalker no less, probably already established by the Resistance propaganda as their new hope, beacon of Light, all that is good and pure and innocent...

And Luke would be the one to show her the Force! That closed-minded, selfish, evil to the core, murderous, treacherous... old... bastard! He would cut Rey off of half of her nature, try to tame her and in case of a failure – kill Rey in her sleep. Ben knew exactly how this story goes.

He had to warn her - it seemed the girl had been hero-worshipping his evil Uncle. It would make things difficult, but not impossible.

Kylo tried (and mostly succeeded) to take out his anger and frustration in the new training quarters he shared with Kira.

The last days have been one of the most boring for the entire fleet.

Snoke has punished Hux with forced vacation (but he wouldn’t let him leave the Supremacy) and wouldn’t let anyone make a move against the Resistance. He wasn’t demanding their presence in the throne room and was hopefully plotting something sinister.

Kira sure looked like the festivals came earlier – her eyes were bright, movements springy, her signature almost vibrating and somewhat stronger. It was like she knew about a secret that nobody else was aware of. He wondered, when she missed an easy struck at his face, whether it was something the Supreme Leader was keeping from him.

Surprisingly, he didn’t even mind – if Snoke was busy cooking up some plan with Kira then the two of them were less likely to notice something weird about him. Even if Kira had some clue about the bond, Kylo instinctively knew that despite her possessiveness, she was actually... delighted by the thought that he was given one.

She seemed unstoppable today, but how could she be so happy a mere days after her precious Starkiller was literally blown up?! They had some serious fights about the whole thing and now she was acting like that was nothing.

When he dared to ask her that she only said that the Starkiller Base was a success, that the Base has fulfilled its purpose and there were far more exciting things to come.

Force, Kylo would never understand women!

Later, he stood half-naked in his quarters, wearing those awesome high-waisted leather pants that Kira seemed to despise so much, remembering that annoyed face she made at them once, and out of the sudden started wondering what Rey would think about his fashion choices.

Immediately, the now familiar sound filled his ears.

Oh, kriff.

Rey’d called him a monster before, and she was right. He could never deny it.

Do all the monsters feel so much? Was that what made them monsters?

But no, it was his actions that brought him here, to the warm embrace of the Dark Side. The choice he made... the choice that broke him in two, that made him even weaker than he was before.

He kept on replaying their conversation in his mind.

**Why did you hate your father?**

**Why did you kill him?**

It was almost impossible how much they were alike. Impossible and heartbreaking.

He won’t be thinking about Han Solo. He killed his past and he was finally free.

Right?

He couldn’t let anyone see him so weak... but he needed to talk to someone, some random person who would forget everything once Kylo feels more like himself. Memory of dragging away one of Phasma’s troopers came to him. He stomped through the corridors like a hunter before he found one of the squads marching nearby.

Perfect.

They all froze and saluted. He has never been more aware of his face bared for the world to judge, but he nodded royally and pointed his finger accidentally at one of them.

(As we know, there is nothing accidental about the Force)

\- You. Follow me. Others can go.

Han was speechless (but according to Captain Conserve, ‘’Good trooper is silent trooper”) as he let his son lead him in unknown part of the Supremacy. The flagship was huge so it wasn’t like he sightsaw everything, anyway.

Seeing Ben’s face so close, so vulnerable... Kriff. He was never good with emotional drama.

Finally, Ben nodded to him to sit and without further ado, began to talk.

About Han.

It was... opportunity like no other, and Han shamelessly allowed his boy to pour his heart out in front of supposed stranger.

The sooner he brings Ben home the better. He had to resist the impulse to pick him up, like when Ben was still a tiny baby and not towering over him grown-up man, and get the kriff out of enemy territory. Kira’s plan be damned.

On the other hand, the last time they saw each other his little Ben tried to kill him.

\- ... and then he touched my face and gave me that look... Like I was the greatest disappointment of his life! – Ben continued, not aware that his audience got somewhat distracted. He registered Ben’s last words and a devastated look on his son’s face.

Kira’s warning brushed his thoughts, but Han couldn’t remain silent.

\- What are you talking about?! You kill your dad and he touches your face? If this is not some non-verbal forgiveness... thing, then I don’t know what you want.

Ben was quite freaked out that the stormtroopers can talk. You’d think he was part of the army for some years! He did eventually get a grip.

\- Forgiveness?

And so Han began to explain, as dispassionately as he could pretend.

Time has passed and with it came another Force-bond connection. Kira was safely locked inside her meditation sphere. She knew she could not endure that one. Definitely not sober, and she couldn’t afford herself to lose control now. Few hours... In a few hours everything will end.

Ben will be happy... That’s all that matters.

She let her signature wander, felt the shock of familiarity when she reached the island and mentally jumped away.

Relax...

I’ll come back for you

Everything was blue and there was no Bond...

Sweetheart

She knew  **that place** as well and she would not linger... 

I promise

She crawled out from the sphere before it even fully opened.

All that was left was to avoid Kylo, keep Han close and somehow find a safe time and place for Falcon to come and pick up the three.

She was curled up in the most comfortable chair in the command chamber, watching certain surveillance tape, shared by Hux for her personal view only.

(Rey’s hair looked really good! She should have made it her signature hairstyle after three-buns-of-death... Oh no, it was Hux and Kylo’s fashion dramatics rubbing off on her, wasn’t it?! Kira was weak. How did Phas manage to keep her sloppy blond mane safe from those two?)

Kira was so engrossed in watching herself being thrown around the throne room that she forgot to pay attention to the kids.

Said kids being one feared-by-all, rumored-to-be-goddess Captain and one supposedly retired smuggler.

Three blaster shots and an angry scream later, she looked up from the datapad to see Han and Phasma exchanging hateful glares.

They were making her miss the best part, weren’t they?

Apparently, Han had enough of being ordered around while wearing his stormtrooper disguise these last few days and decided to use a definitely-real weapon. His last shot would make the statistics of all stormtroopers’ shots in history go wild.

She sent one last longing look at the screen (Ben’s arms as wide as always) before standing up and cutting off the verbal part of the fight. Was that what Finn felt every time when she was yelling at Poe instead of getting on with the job?

Luckily, their finally managed to contact the Millenium Falcon and Chewie. And thank Maker Phasma wasn’t fluent in Shyriiwook. Kira could take her away and let Han handle his best friend, who was quite suspicious of him coming back to life and being so conveniently close. Convincing the Wookie took some colorful stories and details that Kira wished she’d never heard.

When Chewbacca has agreed to land inside Supremacy’s hangar, he didn’t tell Han who was he bringing aboard the Falcon, and neither did he share all the details with his co-pilot - who was currently meditating, of all things! Let these two idiots gape at each other when the time comes.

He couldn’t wait to see everyone together and happy at last, but for now he had at least two people to rescue from the heart of the First Order.

She was helping Phas put a small string of instant-bacta on when she felt it.

Not Snoke’s death, but that has obviously happened.

No.

What she felt was deliciously familiar power of one Ben Solo: freed, roaring, untamed, only his to command.

He was his only master now.

Kira left Captain in good hands – her own – and she commed Armitage while walking through the corridor as fast as she could without alerting the troopers.

\- Huxie, be a sweetheart and secure Supreme Leader’s turbolift for me and me only, will you?

He sighed theatrically.

\- You know, I’m the General, not some random, minor officer...

\- Chop-chop – she sing-songy and ended the comm.

Before she entered said turbolift, Kira saw a group of stormtroopers, gossiping and turning their visors at her nervously. If they saw Rey, they must wonder what unfamous Sith Lady will do once she meets her rival for Kylo Ren’s heart. She made sure her cowl was covering her face.

Dark Side twirled inside her treacherously, but Kira only frowned and pushed it back to its place.

Inside the turbolift she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, ignoring a certain memory from the very same place.

She’s planned it all for years. Almost everything, anyway. Her idea wasn’t flawless, but it was the only thing she had. Exegol was no more, Snoke was dead, Ben was free...

He just needed one, final push.

He pushed away the body of the last of Snoke’s guards, not interrupting the intense eye-contact with Rey.

The fight was over, but his heart was still beating wildly.

She looked moved as well.

The way they worked together, how unstoppable the two of them seemed... No one could ever beat them. For the first time, Kylo Ren felt like he found his place in the galaxy.

Who said a person cannot be a home?

That was The Moment.

In another life, in another time, in a bit different world (or maybe in this, but earlier?), the wraith of Palpatine would choose this moment to influence Kylo, obscuring Rey with a vision of ruling the galaxy together, a vision of unlimited power.

In this world (or maybe in that other, but later?), Palpatine was gone and Kylo has ignored that tiny but loud, selfish part of himself on behalf of the girl, who changed so much.

**You will not bow before Snoke.**

**You will turn.**

Perhaps, there was some other kind of power. One that the throne of Supreme Leader won’t give to him.

Freedom.

So he turned from the pitiful chair, on which the monster's remains rested, and focused on  **her** .

Approaching Rey, he mused briefly over all the speeches he might have prepared earlier. He handed her the saber over, and clipped his own back to the belt. The way she looked at him... Kylo’s mind went blank. What was he going to say..?

Dad must be laughing at him from the afterlife.

He swallowed and was about to speak... When the turbolift door at the other end of the throne room has opened.

Instinctively, he moved the girl back a little and opened himself up to the Force. They will never take them alive!

Seeing who the newcomer was, he relaxed. Rey, on the opposite, took a deep breath and turned on the azure blade at the sight of lady Kira Ren, with her golden eyes of predator and smooth movements of a warrior.

So familiar, so dear...

Until recently, the only one standing at his side.

\- Rey, wait – he asked gently. – Let me talk to her. Kira is not our enemy.

Kira, who was quite close already, must have heard it, because he saw the characteristic lines at the corners of her eyes. He straightened up - even though she was wearing those weird boots, he was still taller - and looked intently at those golden irises.

\- She’s with me – he declared and waited for his friend’s reaction.

::You’re sure about that?:: - she answered through their training bond. Weird. They haven’t used it for some time... Kira did explain to him that in a natural way his bond with Rey must have obscured it.

::Yeah. Because he’s with me:: - they both suddenly heard Rey’s fierce mental voice, inside their minds, in the middle of the bond.

Kira seemed mildly surprised, but Kylo wasn’t. After all, their mysterious connection has allowed them to touch each other despite the galaxy separating them. What couldn’t it do? Especially now, without Snoke suffocating Kylo with the tentacles of his power.

(A vision from a few hours ago flashed through his eyes: him and Rey sharing the throne. A scarlet saber-staff in her hand. Where would Kira be then? Would she be loyal to both of them? He felt a sting of pain in his chest at the thought that she would have to make a choice soon.)

\- If you say so... – said Kira out loud, with a peculiar look on what was visible of her face. If he didn’t know better, he would think she’s proud of Rey. And yet they stood on opposite sides of the conflict and had just met for the first time, they were strangers to each other.

Kira, of course, did not allow him to ponder longer.

\- I see I’ve missed the best part. Snoke – dead, the guards – gone. No fun with you, lovebirds – she sighed mockingly and she held out a pile of documents to him (where did she, Grandvader, get the paper aboard the Supremacy?), which she had so far kept hidden in her cavernous purple robes.

What a strange selection of clothes, Kylo thought stupidly. Snoke would never agree to such a royal color worn by his subordinate.

But Snoke was gone.

As new Supreme Leader, Kylo would never limit his ally with a dress-code.

Never mind – what matters was that he had arms full of papers. Some looked like official reports, others like prints from the holonet... When he looked closer, he noticed between them something that looked like one of Kira’s personal journals, that he had once read through so carelessly.

Rey was looking distrustfully at Kira, who – completely unconcerned - turned to Kylo.

\- Phas has cleared out the entire level, the Millenium Falcon is probably right now landing in the hangar... She will be taking one more person other than you, but I doubt that another passenger will disturb you. Here, at the top – she nodded at the pile. – You have everything you need for the Resistance to welcome you with open arms. Mommy will be proud of you, Ben – she winked at him. Kylo decided to ignore the name for now. – Looks like you’ve been feeding them some quite useful information, preparing the Resistance to fight Snoke. And now, after the coup, you’re coming back home triumphantly as their hero – they could only stare at her, bewildered.

\- Here comes the hope for peace in the galaxy! - She spread her hands theatrically, then curtsied.

\- And what, you’re that hope? – Rey asked sceptically.

\- I... I don’t understand – Kylo mumbled. Useful information? Coming home? Hero?! – Why...

\- Why are you helping us?! – Rey cut him off, blushing furiously. – You’re kriffing Kira Ren, the terror of the rebels, Snoke’s ward! You tortured Poe, commanded the stormtroopers’ reids, blew up some innocent planet! You’re evil to the core, you’re... you’re...

\- Female? Stranger? Well, I am definitely not a handsome, seductive young man, torn between two sides of the conflict, with a deep voice, thick black curls and puppy eyes! No offense, Princess - she added apologetically to Kylo and added lightly - You know I love you.

Whether at the word ‘love’ or provoked by a tender nickname, Rey turned from red to almost purple and the Force swirled dangerously around her.

Kira and Kylo froze ...

\- You are a Sith! - Rey finished triumphantly. She calmed down as suddenly as she had flared with anger.

Kira sighed.

\- And there I thought you have learnt something. The world is not black or white, and neither is the Force. Every Jedi hated someone. Every Sith loved someone. Neither side has ever really won, the only thing that can succeed is the balance. Let the past die - Kylo and Rey exchanged glances over Kira's shoulder. - But don't forget about it, just begin something new.

She ran her hand over the cowl as if she wanted to take it off. Kylo was fully supportive of the initiative.

\- I know you don't understand me now, Rey – Kira’s voice was surprisingly gentle. - There is something that might help you ... And I hope you’ll try. You see for yourself what enemies can become in the right ... conditions ... "Kira raised her eyebrows meaningfully. - You'll soon find out that I have no reason not to help you.

She turned, saddened, and Kylo suddenly realized that the shape of her eyes was identical to that of Rey's. How could he have missed it before?! Maybe even their noses ... He tried to discreetly look at them, but then Kira was moving away from them towards the oculus.

\- Nothing, no distractions, not this time. Even if I were to destroy them all by myself - she muttered under her breath, as if she had suddenly forgotten that she was not alone and the sounds carried far away in the throne room.

Kylo felt the dark side rising in Kira like a powerful wave ... But suddenly it was gone. Just like that.

Kira sighed again, this time in a satisfied way. When she turned back to them, her eyes seemed darker than usual.

He didn't know why it touched him so much, but it did.

\- All right, kids! You’ll be leaving soon. We have two hostile sides to bring together, families to reconcile, and one death to fake. Remember to invite me to the wedding or I'll get lonely - she tried to sound carefree.

Watching Ben and Rey stand shoulder to shoulder in the throne room dotted with dead bodies, Kira felt incredibly lonely, as lonely as she had been before meeting Kylo again on the Finalizer. A nasty, too familiar feeling pierced through her.

They were staring at each other doe-eyed and she started to imagine her life after that. Lonely Empress amongst the thousands of people in love, watching the dyad create a family, getting married, having children, maybe helping them sometimes... Being known as ‘Auntie Kira’... It won’t be so bad, right?

And then - just like that! - as if it were to be like that from the beginning, in response to this overwhelming loneliness, just like years ago (although for some it has only been a few hours), she felt THAT signature in the Force, right there, where the most painful of all voids had resided for so long.

...How?

Forgotten turbolift door has opened with a quiet hiss...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now next chapter is "unfortunately" one giant flashback that will give you some answers y'all probably already have. Should be up in a few days (it's already been written and you know i just can't keep him away from you for long). 
> 
> Let me know what you think :)


	19. If we fall into another life/ Tougher than the last time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we start at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, make sure you've read previous updates. I've been posting like a crazy this week, with no self-control, and i would die a bit if you've missed anything.
> 
> first, this chapter seems sad at first but it's not. IT'S FULL OF HOPE.
> 
> second, the flashback chapter wouldn't fit anywhere in previous chapters, and maybe it have let me build up the suspense... ;) (future readers maybe won't notice, but those of you who were here chapter after chapter... yes. you've been through a lot.)
> 
> third, if you will wonder why Anakin feels different than the sneaky reylo-shipping Force Ghost from earlier chapters, well... Imagine that Anidala from the second timeline have seen only first two movies, while original timeline Anidala have seen what we have, which is also TROS. They’re gonna be a lil bitter. (And influenced by my mental state in February 2020) 
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

_ the end, Exegol _

Five minutes.

It took him five minutes to find the way to fix everything, to save Rey. Climbing out of that kriffing pit, crawling to her  _ (dead dead dead) _ body and healing her just like she’d once healed him, but with something  **more** . He had no idea what he was doing, all he knew was that Rey had to come back to him. She couldn’t be dead, no, she had to open her eyes, scowl at him, fight with him. Next thing he knew her hand was warm and touching his, their bond slowly awakening...

The kiss was nothing like he’s imagined – it was so much better.

(And, holy Grandvader, it was  **her** who kissed  **him!)**

With her breath still on his lips, he felt the Life Force leaving his body. ”Ow-”, was his last coherent thought before he fell on the cold, hard ground, with Rey’s fingers still entwined with his. He only saw her dark eyes, widened in shock... before his vision turned deep blue.

And then something warm and red tugged at him, and the otherworldly blue was gone, and he stood back on Exegol, looking at Rey hovering over pile of black clothes.

Everything was quiet and looked a little blured, and somehow he knew that they won’t be able to touch or talk and she won’t see him. Tears were running down her beautiful face, she was breathing heavily and her body was shivering. He heard her whimper:

– Ben? Where are you? Please... Please, come back – followed by a scream – COME BACK!

He remembered a little girl on the desert planet and his heart broke.

No,no, no.

That was not how this story goes, he would  **never** abandon Rey. 

He heard a grunt.

\- Put on some clothes, young man, before you flash your grandma!

He turned to see a deceptively young man with light brown, curly hair and a scar over his right eye.

Looking down at himself, Ben realised he was indeed naked. Instinctively he imagined wearing his usual Supreme-Leader-of-Loneliness outfit, and then he naked no more.

– What do you mean, ”grandma”? – he asked, but the stranger only laughed.

\- The coast is clear, Angel – and before he had a chance to say something rude, another person has appeared from nowhere: a stunning, petite woman with little blue flowers woven into her thick, dark curls that reminded Ben of his own. Her cheeks were reddened, and she took a swing at her companion, who ducked.

\- What the kriff is going on, Ani? He’s just brought her back from the dead, for Maker’s sake! They were supposed to be happy, get married on Naboo, give me some great grandchildren to watch over from the afterlife - she kept yelling at man, who grew sullen with each word.

Grandma? Ani? Naboo? Ben’s mind finally caught up.

\- Grandfather? – he asked hopefully, and the man sighed and looked at him with a tired expression.

\- One would think you’d recognise my voice after all these years of praying to my helmet...

Ben’s flushed with both embarrassment and anger. His idol turned out to be annoying, sarcastic...and much like him.

\- How was he going to recognise you, when all he’d ever heard in response WAS KRIFFING SITH! – Padme was not done yelling. It would amaze Ben how such a small woman could be so loud if not for the fact that he was the son of Leia Organa.

His grandparents started to argue in a light-hearted way, so he decided to catch up with Rey, who from what he heard muffled from the other side – the world of living, he realised with a dread – might have got into trouble. There were still Sith loyalists left! Cursing his thoughtlessness, he tried to run to her only to be stopped by hand on his arm.

\- Nice of you to finally join us, son – he heard Anakin somewhere in the background, while Ben turned and froze when he saw Luke.

Uncle Luke.

He took a step backwards unwittingly. Ben Solo may have returned to the Light, but it didn’t mean he will ever forget the menacing green saber turned on over his sleepy, defenseless self.

\- I’m afraid Rey has used the Dark Side ritual, albeit unknowingly – his first Master told them unasked. – Ben, this is why you’re here. She must have drained all the Life Force from you.

\- Shut. Your. Mouth.

\- Ben...

\- Silence! You don’t know what you’re talking about. I did it myself. I’ve given Rey my Life Force... And I may have overdid it. How many times have any of you performed a Light Side oriented Resurrection correctly? – Ben put his hands on his hips, mirroring Grandma Padme.

\- I didn’t even know something like this was possible... – mused Anakin.

\- Until we saw you holding Rey’s dead b-body – finished teary-eyes Padme and sniffled.

Suddenly, husband and wife were both weeping and Luke sighed deeply before explaining to Ben:

– They really cheered on you two, kid. I spent the first year of my afterlife hearing all of their whining about “ _ another star-crossed lovers in the family” _ ...

Ben just looked at his uncle sourly. Skywalkers were drama queens.  _ All of them. _

Days have passed since Exegol.

Afterlife was no fun, not that he hadn't expected it.

Watching Rey help the Resistance while mourning him quietly has really hurt Ben, and even more when he still couldn’t reach her. He saw Rey grow calmer and colder with each hour and he grew numb in return. She needed him, and he wasn’t there!

Anakin, Padme and Luke – he sometimes wondered why only them – had been coming back and forth between his private limbo and whatever more was there to life after death.

There was no „moving on to the next step” for Ben, the way Luke wanted him to, not with his soul screaming that he was missing something. Ben knew exactly what, or rather who. His mood swings spread between emptiness, the kind that pained more than anything Dark, and frustration that made his head burn. Sometimes he would find himself with holes in memory and time skipping forward.

Her hair were longer now and she wasn’t with the Resistance anymore.

Good. Ben could see in his mind glorious visions of Rey travelling the galaxy, visiting all different systems, making friends, tasting new food, having adventures, maybe falling in love?

She was alive. Was there something more he could ask for?

Ben felt so kriffing useless. He wanted to give Rey everything but even if he saw her pain, he couldn’t visit her as a Force Ghost. The barrier between them was impenetrable. He should back off, stop watching her and wait patiently. One day they would meet again, but before that she should be able to live without his shadow obscuring the light.

It was best to fall asleep and wait.

.

.

.

He felt a pull.

Maybe the Force was waking him up, maybe it was time to reunite with Rey...

But no.

Luke was shaking him mercilessly. For a persec, he thought he’s still at Yavin 4.

\- Yeah, Master Luke. I’m... awake... promise...

\- Ben, there’s something wrong, Rey is so deep in the Dark...

\- Nah – he mumbled. - She’s too strong for that... so much stronger that I... Rey will bring balance...- he felt the abyss summoning him again and he almost let it swallow him but then he heard Anakin:

\- Property of Darth Maul? And now Darth Plagueis? Revan? What does she need all these holocrons for? If she wanted some decent one, she should have find my own!

\- Ani, your holocron was basically a mourning diary. That’s not what she needs. 

Ben opened his eyes and found himself curled up next to his family as they watched Rey inside some strange ship that definitely was not Falcon – where did the Falcon go? She was meditating, Dark Side slowly but steadily rising around her. Journals, sheets of paper and various objects that could be holocrons of both Sides were surrounding the bunk she was sitting on. In one hand she clutched black hilt of a new saber, in the other, a much familiar weapon. There was also his stupid old helmet on her lap.

Huh. Maybe she didn’t hate that thing after all.

There was a warmth surging through his body, making him feel more real. So she still thought about him sometimes. Luke’s grunt cut off his happiness and Ben turned to his uncle reluctantly.

\- Sometimes I think she’s even worse than you.

\- Why? – he hissed defiantly. – Because she’s a Palpatine? It’s not like our family is pure Light...

\- Both of you, hush! – Anakin interrupted their upcoming clash. – I think I’ve already told both of you that Rey is not a Palpatine. Why they always want to be related to some famous Force-user? That old bastard was lying. He thought that family would be a weakness to exploit, something that would turn her to his side. As if the Force would  _ ever  _ allow that asshole to procreate in any way!

\- Wait, what? – Ben couldn’t believe it. All that drama, all that pain... For nothing? He could have spared Rey but instead he fell into another trap like an idiot...

\- She doesn’t know – Padme sighed, answering his silent question. – But don’t worry, she doesn’t care much about being or not being a Palpatine. Our Rey has something more interesting to do... – she smiled at him but said nothing more. Judging by Luke and Anakin’s confused expressions, they knew as much as Ben did.

\- But it means that her parents...

\- You were right about them. They sold her – Anakin said grimly.

The fury made him feel almost alive. 

_ (Skywalkers saw it, and the three swore silently to never, ever let Ben know that Rey’s parents came to her during her temporary death.) _

But there was also one thing...

\- How exactly did you know about it?

Three Force Ghosts suddenly looked very much like a family, what with those ashamed expressions.

\- You see... the way you can watch over Rey and see what she’s up to from time to time... – Padme began with shame before Anakin finished:

\- We’ve been there almost the whole time, and definitely during your failed proposal. If only I could give you some advice back then...

\- What kind of advice? You’d make him complain on sand when he’s never lived on a desert planet in his life? – they heard some distant voice that Ben didn’t recognise.

Judging by furious blush on his grandfather’s face and longing on Luke’s, it could have only been his namesake, Kenobi.

\- Ah, yes, the unfamous pick up lines of Anakin Skywalker... I’ve almost forgotten that one – Padme murmured and smiled at Anakin. He returned it, and for a moment he looked even younger than usually.

Both Luke and Ben exchanged uneasy looks. There were few things they have been spared for years and did not want to experience. Ever.

Something has changed.

He lost Rey from sight for months – or years? It felt like years – and suddenly, one day, Ben felt alive.

The Life Force was no more thin, weak thread tied to his finger. It was filling his entire body, and fueling his Force signature in a way that started to distinguish him from the other three Skywalkers.

Anakin was sure Ben could leave this place for good, and  **not to move on but to come back** to the real world. To Rey! It was all he’d ever wanted since Exegol. He decided to take a look from the safety of In-Between (as he called it), because if he couldn’t find Rey she must have been on Exegol or Ahch-To...

But she wasn’t.

Nothing really was on Exegol anymore – nexus-planet has been transformed into void in Cosmic Force. Just like what was once Hosnian Prime, just like a micro-star named Solo that used to be Ilum...

Starkiller. First Order’s Death Star.

_ Who could possibly recreate a weapon-planet and turn it against Exegol? _ And how? There was no planet like Ilum to modify into new Starkiller.

He got his answers from Luke. His uncle contacted every Jedi he could reach in the afterlife, and together they came to the conclusion that Rey – his Rey! – has changed the timeline and destroyed Exegol.

With a Maker-damn Starkiller!

Time-travelling. The most dangerous, the least known way of Force!

His post-mortem depression disappeared without a trace. Ben Solo has never been more mad at (scared about) someone in his entire life than he was mad at Rey right now. What was she thinking?! Did she at least have a plan, or did she march there recklessly?

Something obviously went wrong if Rey wasn’t back from her merry trip.

How far did she have to go, to find Starkiller ready to launch, but without her past self in Force...

Oh no.

He thought he knew now why she wasn’t there somewhere in the galaxy...

Anakin, Padme and Luke crowded him, demanding for Ben to calm down and not do anything life-threatening. 

The plan and the cutest dimpled smile both slowly formed.

Powerful Force-user, a living one!, able to move around the World Between Worlds (that must have been what this place was part of, noticed his inner nerd finally).

There were so many possibilities for his excited inner scholar...

If he didn’t have a certain stubborn,act-first-think-later woman to save (again).

After all, there was no point in going back to the Rey-less galaxy.

\- I’m going after her – he announced. – That’s what I always do. Rey goes and I follow. Now I just have to find her in some new timeline – he pretended not to notice the reaction of his present family members: horrified Luke, delighted Padme and proud Anakin. – I’ll need something to hide my face... If I’m correct, I’ll end up alone on the island with my murderous Uncle...

\- Oh, this again? – Luke mumbled. Padme sighed, mildly exasperated.

\- Why can’t you boys finally bury the blaster?

Ben ignored Anakin’s inelegant snort, and focused on the way that he’d just willed his clothes into existence once and summoned the memory of the last thing he saw before losing himself in the Dark Side.

Ren’s plain mask has appeared in his hands. 

Well, he always had great helmet hair, and hopefully death didn’t change that. He wanted to look nice when he reunites with his soulmate.

While hugging her brave little grandson (Stars, he was larger than a tree...) Padme discreetly handed Ben a small hairbrush. It was better not to test his Solo luck (or was it Naberrie legacy?) when it came to the flawless hair.

\- I’m so proud of you! – Anakin’s voice was alarmingly trembling.

Before his father had a chance to tear up - and Force-forbid trigger Ben’s tears as well – Luke distracted the boy, saying honestly, in the harshest voice possible:

\- We all are proud of you, Ben. Not only the three of us, but the whole family. We may not have been there for you when you needed us... and we still suck at projecting into the living world, but we... will... always... be... with... you... – when he placed his hand over his naughty nephew’s heart, the ex-hermit teared up and completely shattered in front of terrified young Solo. Not to mention Luke triggered Ben’s tears himself. It could only end with an awkward hug.

After that surprisingly... warm goodbye, it was time for Ben to go.

He knew he couldn’t simply  _ jump _ through time. There were some rules about the space as well.

Ben needed to remember that the time he’s going into will still have a very alive Snoke. He could absolutely not risk exposure. Rey’s life was at line.

There had to be at least one right moment, something  _ big _ , something that would cover up a sudden appearence of a powerful presence in the Force, something...

**Something like an awakening.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think (final chapter is still a chaotic mess and i need all the boost from your opinions i can get)


	20. It’s never the last time/ There’s never a last time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which reunited lovers fight, dialogues are awful... But at least Ben Solo gets two (2) hugs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The longest chapter of them all. 
> 
> They made me do it. Rey and Ben from the original timeline. They're evil, they just wanted to fight instead of reuniting sweetly. (and btw you can blame the dialogues on them, i wasn't there)
> 
> This final chapter is told mostly from POVs of Kylo and Rey, and while at first it's obvious which one is whose, but later they started to twist together... and i decided it wasn't that bad. The Force Bond blossoms slowly...
> 
> Thank you for all the comments - not only those awesome ones under #19 but also every single one that you left and that inspired me to keep going. 
> 
> The end is here. Enjoy! 
> 
> (and remember there is still an epilogue with Hux's POV, next in the series)

* * *

Kylo was just considering kissing Rey right there, right now, despite the threat of Kira calling them ‘lovebirds’ again, when someone else has entered the throne room.

First Luke.

Then Kira.

And now who?

(Where was Solo luck for him when it came to relationships?!)

The one person in the First Order that he has trusted most was already here, so Kylo took a few steps forwards, to stand between the newcomer and his girls.

In an unexpected unison, they both snorted and stood at his sides.

(Yes, this is exactly what it could be... – the Dark Side whispered seductively. – Kira and Rey, Rey and Kira... You would never have to choose.)

Rey turned on her blade while Kira stood relaxed, with her hand resting lazily on the belt.

If he wasn’t fully opened to the Force, he would never notice it was just a facade. Her control was in pieces. Someone will be unpleasantly surprised.

Kylo focused on the stranger.

Newcomer’s clothes looked like they’ve been stolen from Han Solo’s wardrobe – light shirt, dark leather pants, high shoes and old, brown jacket. He was tall, with a broad chest.

Skin on his hands, neck and chest – shown thanks to the carelessly undone buttons – was as white as snow, as if he was naturally pale and had spent too much time in space.

The man was walking towards them slowly and surely, seemingly relaxed.

According to one of many lessons his father taught him when he was still a little boy, Kylo should keep his eyes on the blaster holder, attached to the stranger’s thigh. And he would, if not for the strong Force signature radiating from the newcomer.

\- Stop! – Kylo cried out hysterically the moment he realised something terrible.

Really, it should have been the first thing to notice – the face of a stranger was hidden behind a mask, but not just a mask, but an identical copy of the one worn by _Ren_ , Knights’ first Master.

Did... did Ren... somehow survive? After all these years, he comes back from the dead... To try to kill other people Ben loves?

Yeah, like he would let it happen!

The scarlet blade was turned on and filled the chamber with a buzzing sound.

\- No, Ben! I know him! – said Rey with relief and lowered her own saber.

– His name is Olos, he lives with Luke on... the island. - he pretended not to notice her hesitation. - He helped with my training, when your uncle refused to teach me.

Kylo gritted his teeth and let the anger and jealousy strengthen him.

**Hello, Dark Side, my old friend...**

So Rey has found a teacher after all! It just wasn’t him.

He wanted them to be left alone so he could ask her all the questions his mind helpfully supplied.

Wasn’t that guy a bit too old?

What exactly did he teach her?

How did a Force-sensitive adult hide from Snoke for so long?

What did the mask mean?!

\- What are you doing here? – Rey asked “Olos” (if that was even his real name!), but before he had a chance to answer (and before Kylo had a chance to attack), Kira spoke.

\- “Olos”? Really, this is the best you could come up with, sweetheart? – she sounded mocking, but Kylo could hear the fury underneath, or just feel it radiating from her in the Force.

Something was clearly going on here – not just the fact that Kylo seemed to forget how much he didn’t want to be called “sweetheart” himself and Kira using that pet name on some stranger made him feel even more frustrated, but also the way that the Force was twirling around them, the way Kira was steadily building up the power, using a clearly _Light_ technique.

_(Since when did his Sith friend channel Light Side of the Force?! Was that even allowed?)_

Kylo thought that Kira hated the Light Side with a fierceness of a thousand suns! How could he be so wrong? Maybe he didn’t know her at all! Didn’t she say that her late husband...

Husband.

How, _exactly_ , did Kira and Olos know each other?

_There was a reason why it was called Force “sensitivity” - Kylo winced and Rey shuddered when two currents of power met and their collision felt similar to being struck by Force Lightning._

Judging by an anxious feeling that Rey sent his way, she felt it too.

* * *

Luke and his “sacred texts” would probably call it a _Great Disturbance in the Force_ , or something like that. Since Olos must have caused it, Rey was curious how **he** would call it.

She tried to summon that feeling of peace, the one she barely touched upon during her attempts at meditating on the Ahch-To, to calm down a bit in that drastically changing situation.

First, Ben’s cold, expressionless face after she arrived, then Snoke, dead Snoke, fighting Praetorian Guard with Ben, unfamous Kira Ren, Sith Lady turning out to be their ally of sorts… And now Olos appears out of the sudden, and makes Kira turn on the madwoman mode. She may have acted all cool, but her Force signature was going crazy and soon even a newbie like Rey could feel her power, building up until it seemed equal to Kylo, if not something… more.

So much for being special! Wasn’t Rey the one who was supposed to be Ben’s other half in Force?

“Darkness rises, and light to meet it.”

But Rey **knew** she and Ben were bound by the will of the Force. They belonged together… **She _saw_ it.**

Perhaps there was an answer to that paradox… Olos always seemed to be constraining himself with the Force, he must have been hiding his power, subduing it, just like Kira seemed to.

And that would mean Kira Ren, Sith kriffing Lady was Olos’ mysterious “missing companion”, the last piece to the puzzle that Rey’s new friend was.

\- Well, you know, among all these traits I’ve inherited after my father, there was also getting creative in a dangerous situation.

With her blade lowered, by still at the ready, Rey took Ben’s free hand and tugged him, asking with a nod to let the two talk. He relaxed under her touch, and together they turned to openly study Kira and Olos.

The latter ignored them. His eyes (although hidden) were only for Sith Lady. With every passing parsec, the signature of one was more and more like a perfect complement of the other’s. The Force seemed to be pulling them towards each other, but Kira stood unmoving, trying to resist, but twisting her wrists in a way unfamiliar to Kylo but obvious to Rey.

::Warm up:: she explained.

\- We’ll discuss your daddy later. I’m more curious about what you think you’re doing aboard the _Supremacy_.

\- It’s just that Rey was preparing to go on a date and I happened to be on the _Falcon_... I figured she wasn’t putting on an eyeliner for Snoke - he sounded cocky even with his voice muffled by the mask. Meanwhile Rey blushed and avoided Kylo’s amused look. Joy didn’t last long for him, anyway. - I just wanted to make sure everything goes fine and if not that I’ll be here to kick the boy’s ass for offending my dear student.

Kylo and Rey gasped loudly in unison. “The boy” was already opening his mouth, before Kira’s laugh cut him off.

\- Student? You must be kidding me. I bet you showed her the ways of the Force - she hissed. Half-willing audience exchanged baffled looks.

\- Don’t tell me a genius like yourself doesn’t know the danger!

\- You were in even more danger before I followed you, and now we’re both here. One would think you’d look behind while walking through the World Between Worlds! - he finally stopped before Kira, who was trembling with fury.

* * *

\- _Look behind_ … What the kriff are you talking about?! Did you… did you have fun making me think you’re DEAD?!

Olos touched the back of his head, as if looking for the hair to smooth. He sighed and tried to say something, but gave up.

\- What are YOU talking about? I was very much dead. Just couldn’t go anywhere without you. Love and all that... stuff.

Stuff. Kylo smiled wryly. On the other hand, it was not like he had a better grip on discussing positive emotions.

\- And when I finally could come back, there was no one to come back for! - he raised his voice, which was rather unnecessary in that throne room, but how could he know? - You just left, and didn’t even look behind once!

He was such a _man-child_! Kylo rolled his eyes. Rey, on the other hand, seemed to be buying all that whining, and cheering team Olos. She had such a good heart...

After a moment of silent admiration, Kylo seriously started to consider the probability of Olos being Kira’s husband. There were some signs…

Did he really pretend to be dead?

He might be a jealous man, but if Kira loved that guy, if he’d made her feel happy, Kylo would only give them his blessing, just like Kira has accepted Rey.

Unfortunately for Olos, she didn’t seem too happy now. There would be no approving man-nods and light-hearted threats like “If you ever make her cry, I’ll come for you with Hux and his malevolent fox”.

Because husband or not, trying to out-shout Kira? Wrong move.

\- I. Just. Left? - she drawled. - For whom do you think I’ve broken all the laws of the Force, time and space?! - her accent was getting lighter with each word said in a voice so hysterical it made Kylo proud. Rey on the corner of his eye looked suddenly thoughtful.

::He’s such a man-child! I don’t get why Kira lets him whine at her:: Kylo must have though Rey would agree, but she frowned at him.

::Hush. Olos lost his entire family, then his girlfriend, and now… :: she started, before he rolled his eyes and she shook her head with a sigh.

They resumed watching their new favorite holo-drama. Who knew what did they miss just now!

There was something beautiful in Kira shaking with fury, something that made her assault on Matt look like nothing. (He blushed at the memory, and providently hid it far and deep inside his mind.) Kylo and Rey both experienced another alarming deja vu while looking at Olos and Kira acting like an old-married couple.

\- … other than change the past! - they heard Kira, still yelling. - I’ve spent _years_ preparing for it, and I haven’t felt _you_ even one time! I was calling you with all my power. I rejected the Jedi - Kylo felt like he had a heart attack. - I used the Sith. I buried the past! Where have you been then, sweetheart? - she asked, now almost whispering, with a deceptive softness.

\- In an eternal limbo, sweetheart! - man said mockingly.

They were both silent for a moment.

\- I don’t know why I couldn’t reach you - he sighed. - I tried. The Bond - Rey gasped - wasn't responding. Then I thought you deserve to live your life and that one day, we will meet again.

Suddenly, that tall and broad man seemed soft and uncertain.

Awry as always, Kira decided it was a perfect moment for laughing.

Unfortunately, her cowl made her sound as if she was suffocating, and while Kylo - already experienced - was quiet, Olos didn’t resist mocking her:

\- Take it off, before these rags strangle you.

She was indignant.

\- You know nothing! These are part of the desert gear! - Kylo sent Rey a feeling of surprise, but she only nodded seriously.

\- Anyway, you first. Let your _Padawan_ see you.

The last trace of Light seemed gone, with Kira in a natural, warm embrace of the Dark Side. Olos was focused on her, but he must have been oblivious, because he simply answered her with a…

\- **Make me.**

Later, Kylo wondered if he perhaps had expected something else than what happened next.

* * *

Sith Lady turned on her lightsaber in the middle of jumping at poor Olos with a battle cry. His shoulders dropped briefly, before he reached out with his hand in a gesture that both Rey and Ben recognised.

Anakin Skywalker’s - not really Luke’s, at least according to Olos! - saber got away from Rey’s hand and flew obediently to him, just in time to block her menacing yellow blade.

Kylo felt indignant at the ease with which his family’s legacy was being commanded by a stranger. Even during the fight on Starkiller he was fine with Rey wielding it, but it was different!

Olos was just some... random... Randy!

\- I promise, I’ll give it back in a parsec! - Olos yelled to Rey somewhat apologetically.

\- “In a parsec”, really?! - mocked him Kira in the middle of a powerful strike.

\- Don’t. Forget - he had an impressive footwork, according to Kylo - That during our first time - he gasped - I was heavily wounded. And mourning… - she almost cut his shoulder, but he danced away with a spin.

 _Were they fighting or flirting?_ Rey shook her head in disapproval. She glanced at Kylo, who was watching the duel with an excited glint in his deep, dark eyes. According to his thoughts, even if Kira was already a rightful Lady of Sith when they met, he still taught her few things, and now looked at her perfect form with delight.

And yet, Olos was keeping up with Kira easily. It was quite frustrating for Kylo!

Finally, Rey couldn’t stop her laugh.

Kylo looked at her inquiringly.

\- It looks more like dance than a fight - she finally explained. - If you squint, it’s like a porg’s mating dance. Just look at them, showing off in front of the other, ruffling their feathers...

He realised she was right - none of the opponents fought to kill. He could see it now: Kira was circling Olos in an irritably familiar manner, and he moved with her. When their blades clashed, sparks were flying not only literally…

**What Ben saw when he tried to sense them through the Force reminded Rey of the strange mosaic at the ruins of the first Jedi temple.**

Olos saber was getting faster and faster with each moment.

When she caught a glimpse at Kira’s face, Rey noticed that the eyes of the Sith Lady were filled with crazy joy and _hunger_. It reminded Rey of the way Kylo looked at her. ( _Not just when we fought on Starkiller,_ she realised, _but… always_.)

Finally, it seemed that the woman was going to lose. Rey almost felt relieved, but then Kira shook her weapon and _it broke_ lengthwise _,_ turning one blade into thinner two and one thick handle into a more comfortable middle of the saber-staff.

\- She had never shown me that! - Kylo whispered, offended.

Oh. Maker.

Rey needed one just like that, but maybe not with a yellow crystal.

(It made her think of the sand. She hated sand.)

Fighting with the azure blade came to her instinctively, and yet she still prefered her staff, she was made to wield long ranged weapons.

Rey followed the movements of Kira’s twin blades, already thinking through the differences with training while using saber-staff…

At some point the opponents were so tightly entwined, that Rey and Kylo both felt uneasy, and turned their gazes away. In a sudden stroke of genius, Rey reached out and slowly removed Snoke’s remains from the throne.

As an answer to Kylo’s curious look, she just shrugged and nodded at the mesmerizing dance. The two weren’t doing… whatever they’ve been doing before, and now it was obvious that Kira was slowly pushing Olos towards the Supreme Leader’s throne.

Finally, just one step away from that fancy chair, the man managed to block Kira’s powerful strike with the Skywalker blade he still wielded with one hand, and used the other to tear off her cowl.

Both sabers were turned off, and Kylo made a move as if he wanted to take a look from a better angle, but Rey stopped him. The two were clearly **not done yet.**

\- You should have invested in a helmet if you wanted to hide - Olos said, his chest heaving.

\- No mask lasts forever, Ben - she said, her voice clearer than ever and suddenly lacking that heavy accent. It almost sounded as if she came from Jakku.

Did she just call him _Ben_?

::She must have said Ren. He wears my predecessor’s mask:: Kylo shrugged it off stubbornly. There was no way he had anything in common with that man, no matter how well he fought.

_(But it didn’t count, since he looked like a kriffing ballerina while doing it!)_

They weren’t paying attention to the two only for a moment, but it was enough to miss the best part.

A loud crack made Rey and Kylo look back just in time to see Kira triumphantly approaching poor Olos, telekinetically forced to sit on the Supreme Leader’s throne. She nudged his knees apart and caged him with her arms, fists placed on the armrests, then released her power’s grip on him.

\- Isn’t that what you’d once wanted so much? You, me and the throne - she said surprisingly gently.

\- Aww, don’t lie to me, sweetheart. I wasn’t the only one thinking about it, dreaming… seeing it in visions…

Rey and Kylo both winced when they heard about “visions”. It’s not like theirs were ever going to be fulfilled…

But something was tugging inside their minds, another deja vu…

::What did you see exactly?:: she asked, suddenly shy. She was probably blushing as hard as Kylo was. They reached out at the same time and exchanged a memory, and suddenly connecting their minds was as easy as if it was how they were always meant to be.

_(They haven’t yet known the word “dyad”)_

_._

_._

_._

So Rey looked up at herself, dressed like a Sith, Darker than the black hole. Her eyes glowing, freckles peeking through the paint, her laugh filled with pure joy.

And Ben looked down at himself, dressed like a smuggler, Lighter than the brightest supernova. His hair messy, his smile wide and ridiculously beautiful.

* * *

They slowly got back to themselves and turned once more to stare bewildered at Kira and Olos… Arguing? Flirting? Talking without words so Kylo and Rey wouldn’t hear? Whatever they were doing on that throne...

Anyway, Olos’ mask is already gone, tossed forgotten near Kira’s cowl on the floor.

And what they saw of his face, shadowed by Kira, is enough, it’s the last straw that broke the Tauntaun’s neck.

Distance between faces of Kira and… that guy… is reduced almost to zero before Kylo gets a chance for his revenge and cries out:

\- Snoke cloned me?!

Olos groaned and Kira hid her face in his jacket for a parsec, before she straightened and turned her head, and Kylo could finally see her face after all these months and...

She doesn’t look similar to Rey. They couldn’t be distantly related or whatever explanation to his earlier observations Kylo could have made.

No.

Except the golden color of her irises, and maybe less tanned skin…

Kira and Rey are _identical_.

A distant memory of joking about time travel resurfaces, but he pushes it back, despite Rey’s curiosity among the shock.

There is no such thing as time travel. He would have already read about this somewhere. Kylo read scrolls and he knew things, and certainly there was nothing on Force-users travelling in time.

\- Are we… twins? - Rey asked in a small voice, her heart painfully filled with hope.

_Maybe this is what she saw in the mirror cave, maybe..._

How impossible it would be for Rey’s twin and Ben’s KRIFFING CLONE to know each other and even be some sort of enemy lovers or whatever they really were?

Wait, if they’re married then what about Ben and Rey? Are they… Is that an incest already?

Sensing his racing thoughts, Rey - who was still looking at Kira expectantly - squeezed his hand tightly.

::You won’t get rid of me so easily::

::Good::

And he could focus on the outside world again.

\- No clones and no secret twins. I’m sorry, Rey. I know that you… that we… - she sighed deeply.

\- Everything is in that little book - Kira nodded at the pile that Kylo was still clutching to his chest. - It’s a diary, actually… I didn’t want you to see me… But then this idiot - she nodded at her husband - happened. Really, I wrote down everything you need to know… Wait. Why are you still here? - she suddenly took out a datapad and tapped it once. Her resigned face turned indignant. - Chewie is waiting for the two of you in the hangar. Go now - she looked right into Kylo’s eyes.

::It’s time to come back home, Ben::

\- Diary, huh? Why are you so bent on getting them on the _Falcon_ , anyway? - Olos asked from behind Kira. – That’s a bit suspicious, don’t you guys think?

\- Because that’s where they are supposed to be already! Do. You. Want. To. Keep. Your. Head. On? – she hissed and he gulped comically.

\- Yes, ma’am. – Olos said quickly.

 _Pussy_ , Kylo thought, but then cringed immediately when Kira glared at him.

\- Phasma can’t keep the hangar empty forever, and the Millenium Falcon is quite unfamous already, don’t you think?

She seemed to be talking with Rey mentally, because the girl nodded suddenly and started pulling Kylo gently towards the turbolift.

He gave in to her, but before they left he turned, pointed his finger at Kira while carefully avoiding those dangerously narrowed eyes of his doppleganger, and said:

\- You will tell me everything one day, Vrouw.

She smiled a tiny evil smile and winked at him, and it was like he was being harassed all around the _Finalizer_ again.

\- I promise I will, once things are… calmer here.

The last thing he heard before they left was a very loud and very hurried “I wasn’t joking about the wedding invitation, but I need one more now! Or maybe three, I bet that Huxie...”.

He shook his head fondly when the turbolift door closed.

* * *

* * *

For a moment they just stood there, looking at each other, as solemn as an hour ago. Then Rey moved. Putting her arm around his neck, she stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his.

Finally, there were no evil uncles or nosy friends to interrupt them.

One could say: just a kiss, but it still made them both light-headed the whole way down to the hangar.

It was completely empty of stormtroopers, as promised, and they raced to the _Millennium Falcon._ The engines were already on. Once Rey and Kylo reached _Falcon_ and walked up the trap (he won, that stupid, tall... tree-man!), the ship abruptly flew up.

Usually Chewie isn’t so careless.

They complained in unison, but Kylo’s heart was beating like a hammer when he walked into a familiar corridor.

Last time he did, his father was still alive.

He can’t think about this, not now, please.

 _You still have to look your mother in the face, murderer,_ something whispered deep inside him from that bleeding wound in his soul. It didn’t die with Snoke, but why would it? _He_ killed his father.

Rey, for once oblivious of this thoughts, has taken his hand and started dragging him towards the cockpit. They were almost there when they heard Chewie’s voice, coming from the opposite direction.

Rey froze and so did Ben.

_The Falcon has just reached hyperspace!_

So, if Chewie wasn’t piloting…

\- Kira did mention some other passenger - he murmured to Rey.

Chewie has just reached them (Kylo’s side started to hurt) and laughed at Ben’s words, as loud as only Wookiees could. Suddenly, Kylo found himself in the hairy arms of his favorite uncle, and hugged him back instinctively

It was sad that no matter how tall he was, he still was tiny compared to Chewbacca.

\- Well, if you’re here then who… - he heard Rey, before Chewie let him go, and then there was only a glimpse of her robes disappearing in the entrance to the cockpit.

::Oh, Maker. You need to… you need to come here immediately::

Out loud she only cried out:

\- BEN!

Alarmed, he ran to the cockpit with Chewie calmly following him and laughing.

When Rey saw him, she only moved out of his way, teary-eyed.

_He had a feeling that whatever was wrong now, it could be blamed on Kira._

And then he saw their pilot, sprawled on the seat lazily, his silver hair, lopsided smile, and eyes that never left his own.

The pile of papers, that he was still clutching in his hand, spilled all over the floor.

\- Dad - said Ben Solo in a trembling voice, right before Han’s arms had wrapped around him.

And nothing else needed to be said.

Sitting as a co-pilot next to his father, travelling through the galaxy to the first Jedi temple aboard his beloved ship, with Chewie and Rey behind them, bickering playfully in Shyriiwook... Ben Solo was finally _home._

* * *

* * *

_afterlife with the Skywalkers, currently on their way to bother an old friend_

The realisation struck him later.

\- Padme? Does it mean that there will be two weddings in the family?! – Anakin cried out, happiness making his eyes shine more brightly then any otherworldly light.

\- Don’t try to distract me, Ani. We will invite Obi-Wan _anyway_!

\- Ha! Very funny.

\- …

\- You’re joking, right? Padme? Where are we going… Padme?!

* * *

* * *

_Throne Room in desperate need of cleaning, the Supremacy_

\- A secret twin, really? - he asked, raising his brows unimpressed.

\- A clone, really? - she answered in the same manner.

Ben sighed and wrapped his arm around her waist.

\- I wouldn’t put it past Snoke, actually. After I died, I should have woken up inside my clone’s body, in some secret laboratory…

She shut him up with a passionate kiss.

This time he didn’t die immediately after, thank Maker.

After a while, they remembered they needed to breathe. Shame.

\- But why, exactly, Hux would like to be invited to the wedding of our past selves? - it finally came to him.

\- Oh, you know… When forced, the two of you actually work nicely together...

He wasn’t buying that.

\- Huxie is a military genius, Maker damn it! Of course I wanted him to be on my side, so I… convinced him. Now, months later, we’re quite good friends and baby Kylo started plotting something with him when they both thought I was dying. It was silly but sweet. So if he acts nicely, you act nicely too. Remember how you’ve treated my friends before?

Memory of the trai- _Finn_ falling into the snow was quite vivid (and maybe still a little bit triumphant, just don’t tell Rey).

He nodded like a good boy.

\- And remember how it had been between us back then?

He pouted but nodded again.

\- Then be as nice to Hux and his girlfriend as you can while still keeping up a bit of your ‘Kylo’ persona - she smiled innocently, but the dimple betrayed her.

\- Wait, what girlfriend?

\- Ben, how long did you work with Hux and Phasma? How could you not notice?

\- ...

She sighed.

\- You do realise he was a traitor, right? - he demanded. Rey and her thing for all the traitors, really... 

\- Yeah, wonder why he wasn't happy after she died, really... And how do you know about this? I thought it all happened too fast...

He sniffed, offended.

\- Of course, I knew it from the beginning. I just had something else to worry about...

\- Oh, like chasing me all over the galaxy? - she mocked.

\- Well, I got you now, didn’t I? - he pulled her closer.

\- You mean: _I_ got _you -_ she pressed her forehead to his with a grin. That mischievious smile of hers was something new, open and beautiful - he loved it.

\- Whatever you say, sweetheart.

Everything was as it should be. They both knew - they would never have to be alone again.

**the beginning.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *"Happy Beginning now is ours" from OUAT plays in the distance*
> 
> ugh i will probably end up making a playlist for whoesoe...
> 
> I did plant a hint about Kira's saber a long time ago ;)
> 
> (i'm not letting them go so easily. there is still a spin off/ sequel planned, but it will be a pile of really short stories from a certain island...)
> 
> The main story is over. 
> 
> Ben is alive and... the other Ben is alive as well. 
> 
> Mission accomplished!
> 
> Since whoesoe is my precious baby, the first thing i wrote in a very long time and first i've posted for anyone to read, it would really mean a lot if you left a comment with your opinion on the finale, or the whole fic, or... anything whoesoe related, really. It will be year 2050, and I will still check the inbox on ao3 in case someone left a comment. 
> 
> (Once again, for the people in the back: BEN SOLO LIVES!)

**Author's Note:**

> sometimes i write posts about writing progress with tag #whoesoe on tumblr so... if anyone wants to talk about whoesoe i'm of course on tumblr as [snowie130](https://snowie130.tumblr.com/)  
> *whispers* i'd love to hear your reactions


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